You have wanted to become a surrogate for a long time now. You did your research, signed up with a surrogacy agency and now, finally! You are matched! Your Intended Parents are AWESOME and everything you had secretly hoped for. Maybe too secret because very few people outside of your immediate circle of family and friends know of your dreams to become a Gestational Carrier. What should you say? Should you wait until you are pregnant and showing or should you tell them before the embryo transfer? This dilemma can take the wind right out of your sails.
First and foremost this is YOUR life and YOUR body. If you have the support of those closest to you that is your number one priority! If your husband and kids and even your parents know what you have been planning then, really, who cares what anyone else thinks? Well….that is an easy attitude to have however it's not that easy to duck for cover in the middle of the grocery store when you are 7 months pregnant with twins and trying to avoid seeing an old friend or distant cousin.
If you truly believe in what you are doing then hold your head up high and be proud of who you are and the gift you have bestowed on some very lucky Intended Parents! Once you have been matched and have the date for your embryo transfer you should consider telling a selected few outside your primary circle of friends and family about your surrogacy journey. Share with them the facts of your situation and see how they respond. If they are supportive and excited for you that’s great! If they are unsure then perhaps they just need more information or education about surrogacy. If they are negative….well, then you might want to avoid that stress while you are on hormones because who knows what you will say! Seriously, you will want to surround yourself with positive and supportive people. If you are having issues with how others are taking the news of your surrogacy then talk with your agency and perhaps they can help you with ideas and recommendations. You may even want to talk with a mental health professional. Anything that supports you and allows you to thrive while you are making dreams for your IPs and for YOU come true.
Have you had a negative experience talking to one of your friends about surrogacy? What did you finally end up doing? How is that relationship now? Just send us your story or comment on our blog! Others want to hear from YOU!