With egg and sperm donation, parents have the extra concern of what to tell their child regarding where they came from. This is not a simple birds and bees conversation yet it can be as simple as that. Parents often have unfounded fears that their child will reject them if they know the 'truth'.
Although there are papers, articles and books on this topic, in this post I would like to keep it as simple as possible. First and foremost accept yourself as your child’s parent! You are rising, nurturing, loving a human being whom you helped create. No little thought went into this very life changing decision. Acknowledge that you are the reason that your child even exists!
Secondly, remember that parents read books to their children starting at a very young age. When you chose your books like “I Love You This Much” or “Goodnight Moon” add in a couple of children’s books on egg donation such as “One More Giraffe” by Kim Noble or “Mom and Dad and the Journey They Had” by Molly Summer. Books like these will prepare your young child for future questions and answers regarding his or her origins. Talking about how different families are made and how what really matters, at the end of the day, is that children are loved and wanted. Reading books can set the ground work for honest communication as your child grows.
Third, I suggest that if you have fears that you can not seem to put to rest, contact a mental health professional in the field of third party reproduction. You will find several who help you find the words you need to explain to your child or children how they were created AND how much you love them.
If you have ever had a conversation with your child about surrogacy, egg or sperm donation and would like to share it with our readers please contact us with your story! Many Intended Parents would benefit from hearing your thoughts and suggestions!