Surrogacy 101

For National Infertility Awareness Week: Win One of 5 Copies of Surrogacy Helps Make a Family Grow!

Just in time for National Infertility Awareness Week! I have 5 books 'Surrogacy Helps Make a Family Grow' by Sharon LaMothe for surrogate mothers to share with their children or for Intended Parents to give to their surrogate for her children! A $16.00 value. E-mail me your name and address at SurroMatchFL@aol.com to be entered into a drawing to win one of these five books on Saturday April 28th. Postage is included and the 5 winners will have their book mailed out to them next week! (all names and addresses kept confidential if requested. Initials maybe used when announcing the winners!) http://www.amazon.com/Surrogacy-Helps-Make-Family-Grow/dp/1456486802/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1315508530&sr=8-1

Why I'm So Special: A Book About Surrogacy With Two Daddies by Carla Lewis-Long

Carla Lewis-Long’s first book, WHY I’M SO SPECIAL: A BOOK ABOUT SURROGACY rated a 5 star review by surrogacy expert, Sharon LaMothe on Amazon.com. A good accomplishment, but Carla didn’t feel as the full story was told. According to U.S. Census, there's a growing number of same-sex parents in America today: between 1.5 million and 5 million, in 1976, that number was estimated to be 300,000 to 500,000. And a recent report by CNN, stated that children with same-sex parents should be prepared for questions from strangers and classmates. "After writing my first children's book on surrogacy, I realized that the majority of people that use surrogates are same sex couples and I wanted them to also have a book to read to their children about their journey.” So on December 19, Carla releases  the second volume, WHY I’M SO SPECIAL: A BOOK ABOUT SURROGACY WITH TWO DADDIES (AuthorHouse ISBN:9781468500073), and introduces 9 year old, Tyler Simone Newman, who illustrates the book.

Surrogacy for two dad households have been bolstered by the recent news of celebrities such as Neil Patrick Harris having twins Harper Grace and Gideon Scott in October 2010, Ricky Martin having twins Valentino and Matteo in 2008, and Elton John  getting the best Christmas gift of all, Zachary Jackson Levon one year ago.

According to the advocacy group, Resolve, 7.3 million people in the U.S. are affected by infertility. Carla Lewis-Long’s fertility issues led her to Creative Family Connections, which helped find a wonderful surrogate to carry her baby. Her first book, Why I’m So Special: A Book About Surrogacy is a story for all parents who used a surrogate to share with their young children, to let them know just how special they are. The second installment focuses on the two dad household and how that journey may be explained to the children.

Besides being a loving mom to Makana Elliott Long, Carla Lewis-Long is VP, Distribution for nuvoTV. She has spent 17 years in television, working at networks such as AmericanLife TV, Oxygen, and USA Network. CableFax Magazine named her as one of the "Most Influential Minorities In Cable."

For more information, visit http://carlalewislong.com
Follow on http://twitter.com/surrogacystory
Like on http://facebook.com/abookaboutsurrogacy

Carla Lewis-Long's fertility issues led her to Creative Family Connections, which found a surrogate to carry her baby. Her WHY I'M SO SPECIAL children's books are for all parents who used a surrogate, so that they can share with their young children.

 

A New Book for the Children of Gestational Surrogates: Surrogacy Helps A Family Grow! by Sharon LaMothe

I am thrilled to announce that my book, Surrogacy Helps Make a Family Grow!, is available on Amazon.com for those living and working in the world of surrogacy. This heartwarming story is written for the children of surrogate mothers who want to explain to them just how and why they are carrying a baby for another family.

I was a surrogate myself when my own kids were ages 3 and 13 and there were no books out there to help me explain this wonderful selfless act to them. Surrogacy Helps Make a Family Grow! is only 30 pages long and filled with colorful illustrations and makes a perfect 'welcome gift' from agencies, clinics and IPs. For women becoming surrogates themselves, this is a great tool to teach their own children about Gestational Surrogacy and how the whole family makes the dream of a baby come true for those in need.



Anyone wanting to buy 20 books or more please e-mail me at SurroMatchFL@aol.com for discount details!

Last Acts of Kindness; Lessons for the Living from the Bedsides of the Dying by Judith Redwing Keyssar: A LaMothe Book Review

Reviewing the book Last Acts of Kindness; Lessons for the Living from the Bedsides of the Dying by Judith Redwing Keyssar surprised and inspired me as I read it almost in one sitting…holding a tissue in one hand. Redwing (as she referred to herself throughout the book) is an amazing woman teaching us all about life through her experiences with the dying. I noticed that because of her work with hospice and oncology most of her stories took place either in the hospital, at home, or in a hospice setting. And to truly experience these deaths she spent quite a bit of time with her patients, caring for them, learning about their beliefs and helping family members and friends accept death as a part of life. We all know that we will all die but do we talk about it? No…we avoid the subject at all costs.

She asks the question Death: Medical Event of Spiritual Experience in Part One of Last Acts of Kindness. All of part one is dedicated to those who died in a hospital setting. From ‘Pulling the Plug’ to ‘A Champagne Toast in the ICU’ the reader is touched by what we mortal beings go through as we take those last few breaths.

I especially liked Part Two: Ingredients for Easing Suffering: Wisdom, Humor and Love.  Parts Three and Four are also very valuable to anyone interested in seeking inner peace for themselves or a loved one. I love the fact that there are several pages of resources in the back for those who want to plan for the end of their own life or to assist older parents or patients who are suffering with cancer and other such diseases to prepare for what is surely to come.

Throughout Last Acts of Kindness you will find poetry, quotes and Redwing’s own thoughts and opinions which are very poignant in some cases and in others strait to the point. I am so glad that I read this book now, in my own mid-life. I feel I have a much better understanding of what’s to come not only for myself but for those I love and cherish.

 

Judith Redwing Keyssar, RN, BA,

is the Director of the Palliative and End-of-Life Care Program at Seniors at Home, a division of Jewish Family and Children's Services (JFCS) of the San FranciscoBay Area. Previously, she was the Director of Patient Care Services for Zen Hospice Project (ZHP). Ms. Keyssar also spent  fifteen years working in intensive care, oncology and hospice. She was "called" to be a “midwife to the dying” while she was attending her closest friend, who was dying at age 30 after sustaining severe head trauma from a motorcycle accident.  The story of her initiation into the field of death and dying is presented in the prologue of the book.

Nobody's Child by Austin Boyd: A LaMothe Book Review

 

Nobody's Child by Austin Boyd was sent to me, along with 2 other copies to share, from Zondervan, for review.

 

 
First their Synopsis: 
For Laura Ann McGehee, her body represents the one remaining financial resource that can save the family farm. For Sophia McQuistion, Laura Ann’s unusual sacrifice fulfills her own dream of having a child. Weaving together bioethics and faith in a heart-rending tale of love lost and loves found, Nobody’s Child dramatizes the ethical question we can no longer ignore in medicine: Just because we can do something … should we? 

About Austin Boyd: He is the award-winning author of the thrilling space suspense trio, The Evidence, The Proof and The Return. An inventor, business entrepreneur, spacecraft engineer, and Navy pilot, he weaves real science with true-to-life characters in descriptive page-turning suspense. Austin and his wife, Cindy are the parents of four adult children and live  in Huntsville, Alabama where he manages an engineering and design company, and serves the community through Crisis Pregnancy ministries.

 
My take on Nobody's Child:  The book itself was well written and the pages filled with details of farm life in West Virginia along with characters who were believable and endearing. What I think is the crying shame about Nobody's Child is the obvious ignorance regarding egg donation. I probably shouldn't have been surprised as Eggsploitation is one of the references recommended in the back of the book. The segments shared regarding Laura Ann's egg donation and the outcome are particularly hard to swallow because every fear that a donor may have came true in this book. Realizing Nobody's Child is meant to be a dramatization I still felt I was constantly thinking 'what's next'? whenever something went wrong in poor Laura Ann's life. (Most of which stemmed from her egg donation).

 
Twenty years old and very much ashamed of "selling her eggs" to save the family farm and help with medical bills, Laura Ann has everything go wrong from floods and fires to a recipient of one of her egg donations showing up pregnant on her door step. What else could go wrong? How about premature labor, a will that leaves the baby to Laura and finding out that a nurse from the now debunked clinic also has a daughter from Laura Ann's donation! Nope, that is not a spoiler!

 

 I recommend reading Nobody's Child for entertainment only. There is a lot of misinformation regarding egg donation and the whys and hows of the process. Leering doctors and exaggerated side effects aside, Nobody's Child does have a message of where there's a will there's a way. Everything that was thrown at Laura Ann had a solution that worked for her mainly due to the supporting characters and her own deep seeded strength.

On Fertile Ground, Healing Infertility by Helen Adrienne LCSW: A LaMothe Book Review

On Fertile Ground, Healing Infertility by Helen Adrienne LCSW is truly a great addition to any fertility professionals lending library and a wonderful asset for anyone going through infertility. I especially liked The Lifestyle Profile, and The Self-Esteem check list which includes a beliefs inventory. You don't have to be infertile to appreciate many of the chapters in this book. Helen addresses the impact infertility can have on a marriage and relationships with family and friends. With real life examples and an intimate look at the medical and emotional process I felt that On Fertile Ground had something that everyone could relate to. Easy to read for minds that are often overwhelmed, this book offers some very real help and solutions for coping with infertility.

Brookie Cookie Bookie: A Children's Book About Friendship, Acceptance and Celebrating our Differences by Robin B. Rosenberg: A LaMothe Book Review

Brookie Cookie Bookie: A children's book about friendship, acceptance and celebrating our differences by Robin B. Rosenberg is sure to bring smiles to the faces of small children as they are read to and relate to the pictures drawn by kids their own age. Its large, colorful and the message is timeless. What I particularly enjoyed were the little rhymes on each page telling of another friend of Brook's, the differences they have and what each child has in common. "Siobhan has a BIG family and mine's very small but we both love family time and know it's the most important time of all!" Brookie Cookie Bookie is a great gift for ages 1-6. Read and enjoy!

Baby Bargains: Secrets to Saving 20% to 50% on Baby Furniture, Equipment, Clothes, Toys, Maternity Wear and Much, Much More! BY Denise Fields: A LaMothe Book Review

Baby Bargains: Secrets to Saving 20% to 50% on Baby Furniture, Equipment, Clothes, Toys, Maternity Wear and Much, Much More! compliments the Expecting, Baby, and Toddler 411 books. It is a great resource to have while you are preparing for your baby to arrive and an even greater read after you have brought baby home. If you are setting up your registry for an upcoming baby shower this book will be an exceptional help! You could even ask for it as a shower gift! A word of caution, some items maybe a bit expensive so you will have to shop within your budget. Some things are not 'needed' at all but are 'wants'. You have to decide what your 'must haves' are and not go over board! Baby Bargains also gives new parents tips on items for toddlers, child care options, breastfeeding support and a chapter on maternity and nursing clothing.

 

I recommend Baby Bargains: Secrets to Saving 20% to 50% on Baby Furniture, Equipment, Clothes, Toys, Maternity Wear and Much, Much More! by Denise Fields and Ari Brown for anyone who needs guidance while shopping for baby!

Win a Set of Expecting, Baby and Toddler 411 Books by Michele Hakakha, MD and Ari Brown, MD in Time for the Holidays From LaMothe Book Reviews

 
   
Expecting 411, Baby 411 and Toddler 411 by Michele Hakakha, MD and Ari Brown, MD are wonderful books for the first time parent and for those with lots of experience! Not only are these books written by doctors they had an advisory board to help them and trust me, no detail is left out! These books are very well organized with sections and chapters and a clear question and answer format along with icons to indicate Helpful Hints, Red Flags, Old Wives Tales and Disturbing Material Ahead to name a few. The Baby 411 and Toddler 411 books have Insider Secrets and Feedback from the Real World. I highly recommend this entire set!

Do you want to WIN your own BRAND NEW set of these great 411 books? Here's how you do it! Visit Infertility Answers, look over the website and recommend it to someone you know(the recommendation button is at the bottom of each page) and then sign into the Guest Book! Leave a comment about the site and your name and e-mail address along with the date and you will be put in a drawing to have this entire set delivered to you by December 17th! This Contest starts today and will end on December 7th 2010. You will be contacted by e-mail on December 11th! Expecting 411 is signed by both authors! 

Thank you and GOOD LUCK!

Surrogacy or Conspiracy? The Lamitina Story by Gwyn and Tom Lamitina: A LaMothe Book Review

 

With a title like Surrogacy or Conspiracy? I couldn't pass up the chance to review this true story of a Traditional Surrogacy gone wrong.  Its a huge what-not-to-do book by intended parents, Tom and Gwyn Lamitina, who wrote and published it even before they had the outcome that should have been theirs. (Watch for the sequel)

Lulled into a false sense of security by their first successful Traditional Surrogacy and while enjoying their life with their new son, Tom and Gwyn decide to add to their family using the same formula. They answer classified ads on Surrogate Mothers Online (SMO)to 'meet' a young woman with children of her own who would be willing to be their traditional surrogate mother.The perfect one came along and she even claimed to be an experienced gestational surrogate and egg donor! Tom and Gwyn state that they did the best background check that they could 'on their own', I read nothing of a psychological evaluation or a medical exam of this surrogate from an infertility clinic. (My own personal red flags) Because they never used an agency or an attorney with their first surrogacy they decided that downloading an 'Internet' contract and allowing their new surrogate fill in all the blanks would be good enough for them. (another red flag) Before the contract is signed by both parties, and in order to take advantage of their surrogates next cycle, they decide to participate in at home inseminations to boot! (This is the yet another red flag and I decided to stop counting here.)

Needless to say everything that could go wrong did. I started out by stating that the Lamitima's were lulled into a false sense of security with their first traditional surrogacy. These very same issues could have gone wrong at any point during their first experience but because they met a woman who had a moral compass and didn't want anything more then to give them a baby to love, the contract was never challenged unlike this second situation. Because the Lamitina's didn't want to spend the money on a reproductive attorney, clinic, or psychologist they ended up spending thousands more fighting for their baby daughter in the Florida court systems. There are checks and balances in place within the reproductive community and if you decide to skip the agency and go to the classifieds or even use a family member or friend there is a protocol to follow and Tom and Gwyn paid the price for not knowing or investigating the 'right' way to proceed after they chose the woman they wanted to work with.

The woman (traditional surrogate) portrayed here in this book would never have made it past an experienced agency. In fact, the reason SHE didn't sign on with an agency, it seems, was because she had a devious plan. She would become pregnant with some desperate and unknowing intended parents' baby, never planning to give it up at the end and then sue for child support. A cold hearted calculated scam that would only work on people who were uneducated in the ways of the surrogacy world. She, apparently, did her homework!

I feel that this short yet intense book is worth reading for any intended parent tempted to go the 'independent' route. The lessons learned for the Lamitina's experiences could save others a lot of money and heartache. Unfortunately this book  paints a bad picture of Traditional Surrogates and those that want to be matched independently however there are ways to protect yourselves without an agency to assist in the process. Research, hiring a surrogacy consultant, making sure that you use a contract drawn up by a lawyer who is well versed in reproductive law in your state, having everyone visit a psychologist and staying away from at home inseminations are just a few of the ways that can assure a successful out come. Surrogacy or Conspiracy? The Lamitina Story can be read in one sitting but will stay with you for a long time after the book is laid on the shelf.

TODAY The Surrogacy Lawyer Radio will interview Sharon LaMothe, author of “Surrogacy Helps a Family Grow,” and Tracy Armato, Conceptual Options Program Director

 

The Surrogacy Lawyer Radio Program Presents “Talking about Surrogacy to the Children of Surrogates”

On October 21, The Surrogacy Lawyer Radio will interview Sharon LaMothe, author of “Surrogacy Helps a Family Grow,” and Tracy Armato, Conceptual Options Program Director

When a woman decides to become a surrogate mother, she will have many conversations: with members of the surrogacy agency team, the intended parents, the medical and legal professionals involved in her care and with her spouse or partner and other adult relatives and friends, to name a few. But one of the most important conversations she will have is with her children, so she can explain the surrogacy process to them.

On the Thursday, October 21 episode of The Surrogacy Lawyer: Your Guide to IVF and Third Party Reproduction, Theresa Erickson, Esq., will be discussing how surrogate mothers should talk to their children about their pregnancies for another family. Ms. Erickson will interview Sharon LaMothe, a former gestational surrogate and author of the upcoming book Surrogacy Helps a Family Grow, and Tracy Armato, program director of Conceptual Options, The Surrogacy and Egg Donation Center and past surrogate. This episode will air on at 11AM PST/2PM EST on Voice America.

Sharon LaMothe is currently the owner of Infertility Answers, Inc., and the creator of two blogs about third party reproduction.  She also owns LaMothe Services, LLC, an assisted reproductive technology business solutions service. Tracy Armato is responsible for overseeing the daily operations of Conceptual Options. Having been a gestational surrogate, Tracy has viewed third party reproduction from both angles and is a key support figure for surrogates.

 “As a surrogacy lawyer and owner of a surrogacy and egg donation agency, I am excited about this new tool to help surrogate mothers talk to their children about the amazing gift they are giving another set of parents,“ says attorney Erickson. “Having open and honest conversations about third party reproduction is essential, whether you are a surrogate or egg, sperm or embryo donor. I look forward to advancing the conversation about this important topic.”

 About Theresa Erickson, Esq.

Ms. Erickson is the managing partner of Erickson Law and the founder and chair of Conceptual Options, The Surrogacy and Egg Donation Center. In addition, Ms. Erickson is the author of the newly released Surrogacy and Embryo, Sperm, & Egg Donation: What Were You Thinking? Erickson was motivated to write her second book so she could educate potential intended parents, as well as the women who become surrogates and egg donors, about what all parties need to know if they are going to become involved in third party reproduction.

Attorney Erickson is a globally recognized expert in this specialized area of law and is a board member of the American Fertility Association and the legal director of Parents Via Egg Donation. For more information, please visit www.ericksonlaw.net and www.conceptualoptions.com.

Surrogacy and Embryo, Sperm, & Egg Donation: What Were You Thinking?: Considering IVF & Third-Party Reproduction by Theresa M. Erickson: A LaMothe Book Review

I was very excited to receive my copy of Surrogacy and Embryo, Sperm, & Egg Donation: What Were You Thinking?: Considering IVF & Third-Party Reproduction by Theresa M. Erickson. What I expected was a book filled with guidelines and tips for those who are venturing for the first time into the unknown territory of Third Party Family Building and I was not disappointed!

 

Education and research is key when considering any third party reproduction route and there are several books out on the market that can assist Intended Parents in making a sound decision. But along with reading books like Surrogacy and Embryo, Sperm, & Egg Donation: What Were You Thinking? visiting website's and researching all options, it is wise to surround oneself with seasoned professionals in the field of Assisted Reproductive Technology. Theresa Erickson is one of those highly sought after reproductive attorneys that can provide sound advice and guidance just as she provides in her books.

 

Surrogacy and Embryo, Sperm, & Egg Donation: What Were You Thinking? is divided into four 'fertility options' as stated in the title but there is so much more to be discovered here. With chapters on Disclosure, Reproductive Tourism, Agency vs Independent and Online Matching, Trust and Escrow Accounts, and much more, this book is a must read for any Intended or Recipient Parent considering working with a third party to build their family.

 

About the Author Theresa Erickson:

 

Theresa M. Erickson is one of the few attorneys in the United States who practices exclusively in reproductive and family formation law. The managing partner of Erickson Law, APLC, she is also the Founder and Chair of Conceptual Options, The Surrogacy and Egg Donation Center, and lives in San Diego, California.

Why I'm So Special, A Book About Surrogacy by Carla Lewis-Long: A LaMothe Book Review

If you are looking for a simplistic way to explain to your toddler about his or her birth from surrogacy,then Why I'm So Special, A Book About Surrogacy by Carla Lewis-Long is a great place to start. Approximately 40 pages long, Why I'm So Special focuses on a Mom and Dad who wanted a baby and after much trying they head for a doctor who tells them about surrogacy. Once the Mom and Dad meet their surrogate, Bonnie, the baby 'is put into Bonnie's tummy' and it starts to grow. With simple language and great illustrations, any toddler will come away with the feeling that he or she was already planned and Mom and Dad were able to make their dream come true by finding someone to help them. (In this case a Gestational Carrier)

Growing Up Black in White by Kevin D. Hofmann: A LaMothe Book Review

I found Growing Up Black in White to be a fascinating portrayal of biracial adoption starting in the 1960's and beyond. This is one son's life story from the time he was born to a white mother and black father to a few months later becoming a part of a white family already populated with two boys and a girl. Kevin D. Hofmann is open about his past experiences and, with great candour, allows his readers to peek into his life as he navigates between the world of white and black. Being dark skinned, he may have 'fit' in better with some situations but he acknowledges that his white family also had to struggle with being 'the minority' for several years while they moved from Detroit neighbourhoods to new schools in search of work and opportunities that would benefit the entire family.

Although sometimes humorous I found Growing Up Black in White more thought provoking and eye opening then anything else. Although Kevin's life story is squeezed into 168 pages, those who are considering biracial adoption or already have adopted would find his experiences worth pondering over and may even give invaluable insight regarding the raising of a child from another race.

I would like to point out that Kevin is now in his 40's and I would hope that some of the things that he and his family encountered in the 60's would now be less evident in our current society. Still, the story touches the reader and brings understanding to the nature of biracial adoption.

Twins X3 by Fran Pitre: A LaMothe Book Review

Now here is a book I could not put down! Twins X3 by Fran Pitre is a story not to be missed. Fran is very candid when retelling the tale of her life thus far. Did she use Assisted Reproductive Technologies? Yes she did, as far as the Catholic Church would allow, using a slew of medications and finally GIFT (gamete intrafallopian transfer.) She talks about the difficulty of becoming pregnant, having premature babies, her relationships with her in-laws and other family members, her bouts of anxiety and depression.  While it's like reading a personal journal, Fran explains, in detail, just what each medical procedure is, why she and her husband decide to try it or why they didn't (think IVF), and how it is to live with three sets of twins. At the end of the book she even has parenting tips. Throughout each chapter are photos of her family and although they are not the best quality you can certainly relate better to these very real life characters. This book is obviously written from the heart not only to chronicle her own life story but, it seemed to me, a huge book (545 pages) of Thanks! Fran thanks everyone from the medical staff, hospital nurses, friends, relatives and teachers often throughout her story. Let's face it, when you are pregnant with one set of twins and have two sets at home, you need a lot of help!

 

Anyone struggling with infertility, a parent with children or a Catholic that has questions regarding fertility treatments would surely find something to relate to in Twins X3 by Fran Pitre.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A note from Fran herself!

 

Dear Sharon,

I wanted to email you a personal reply to thank you for such a wonderful review of my book. Your review truly brought me to tears. My hope is that with your advice through this review, your readers will be inspired to read my book and know that they are not alone in their journey through infertility, and will learn that childless couples really can become parents and see their dreams become reality.

As a side note, I gathered by your statement of the "not-the-best-quality photos" that you unfortunately must have received one of the copies from a printing run where the printing calibration was off. I had noticed this on a few copies, notified Xlibris (my publisher/printer), and was guaranteed that from that run on, each book had crisp, clear photos. Since then, I received a shipment where the photos were perfect ... and that's coming from myself as a graphic designer.

I just want to tell you that in regards to your review so that your readers don't expect anything less than the best product should they decide to purchase a book.

Again, thank you so much for your warm, supportive, very positive review of my book!

Blessings,
Fran Pitre
author: TWINS x 3

Adopting: Sound Choices, Strong Families by Patricia Irwin Johnston: A LaMothe Book Review

 

Adopting: Sound Choices, Strong Families by Patricia Irwin Johnston was published in 2008 and yet will remain timeless. This is a book that I would personally recommend for anyone who is wondering if adoption is even possible for their own unique circumstances.  On a personal note, my own father was adopted in 1937 and knowing how he was found and accepted into his family and some of the struggles that my grandparents had back 'in the day' helps me relate to others considering adoption. Because Pat is living what she writes about, it makes this book easier to read and understand.

 

The introduction is the first place a reader learns what they are about to encounter between the covers of this thought provoking book (don't skip this!) and then you move onto the chapters....each and every one offering a tremendous amount of information but not in an overwhelming way. If you are a heterosexual couple, single or gay and are considering adoption to build your family then this is the FIRST book you should read. From Unraveling the Challenges for Family Building to a complete overview on adoption and finally how to make sound choices that fit your expectations (think financial, taxes, age of the child, open adoption, adoption services, home studies etc.) and the 'Real Thing'. These four parts bring all the important considerations to the reader in a way that is easy to understand with Pats personal thoughtful touch regarding infertility and adoption permeating each and every chapter. I also personally love the resource section at the end of each segment! So helpful! This is also a must read for professionals in the Infertility and Family Building Field.

About Patricia Irwin Johnston: 
  

Patricia Irwin Johnston, MS, is an infertility and adoption educator and advocate with over 30 years of experience as both a volunteer (with local and national advocacy groups in the field) and as professional (publisher at Perspectives Press, Inc.) in the field of challenged family building. She is the author of several award-winning books (the most recent, Adopting: Sound Choices, Strong Families won the 2009 IPBA Benjamin Franklin Award as best self-help book) and has herself been given several awards, including being named a 2007 Angel in Adoption by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption. A member of an extended family directly touched through five generations by adoptions, Pat and her husband live in Indianapolis.

 

Birthing a Mother The Surrogate Body and the Pregnant Self by Dr. Elly Teman University of California Press, 2010: A LaMothe Book Review

Finally! A book that explores the relationship between surrogates (gestational carriers) and their Intended Mothers. Well written and full of real life examples, Dr. Teman draws on anthropological fieldwork among Jewish Israeli women and shares with her readers what many of us in the Third Party Family Building industry want all surrogates/carriers and their Intended Mothers to know: that being a Gestational Carrier has complex and varied emotions attached, not to the fetus but more likely to the intended mother and that, for the most part, the carrier is disassociated from the baby growing in her womb. Tamar, a surrogate, says it best "And that's why I say, I didn't just give birth to a baby, I gave birth to a mother." Shlomit, an Intended Mother also states, "I always say, my mother gave birth to me the first time, she gave me life. But my surrogate gave me life a second time."   

Birthing a Mother is divided into four unique parts: Dividing, Connecting, Separating, and Redefining. The entire work here is brilliant and, as a past Gestational Carrier myself, I can relate to the many stories shared within each part quite easily. A reference of "a child through the mail" caught my attention and I thought about my first Intended Mother who, because of distance, was not a 'partner' in the pregnancy the way that she might have wanted. Perhaps she thought of her twins as mail order until I flew down to her so she could take part in the last few weeks of the pregnancy.
 
I am sure that Intended Parents will see their thoughts and fears reflected in Birthing a Mother The Surrogate Body and the Pregnant Self and be able to use this information learned to understand their own intimate relationship with their Gestational Carrier.

Mom and Dad and The Journey They Had! Written by Molly Rose Siobhan Summer and presented by Guess Who? Multimedia and Pacific Fertility Center Los Angeles: A LaMothe Book Review

Mom and Dad and the Journey They Had!    

I had the wonderful privilege to review Mom and Dad and The Journey They Had! Written by Molly Rose Siobhan Summer and presented by Guess Who? Multimedia and Pacific Fertility Center: I really didn't know what to expect as the story begins with a 'traditional' family preparing to add child number two. They sing and dance all the while getting ready for their very special delivery. Near the end of this story, which starts out focusing on the importance of preparing to bring a baby home, Mom and Dad sit down with the soon to be 'big brother' and tell him about the problems they had conceiving him. In a very matter of fact manner the parents share how they went to a doctor and found a young woman to donate her egg. The main focus of the conversation is how he was the one they had been waiting for all along. The message was so subtle that really all a child listening to this story hears is that "you were always wanted and always loved and we were waiting for YOU".

I highly recommend this very engaging and heartwarming musical to any family who used assisted reproduction (egg donation) to have a baby of their own.

Sharon LaMothe
Infertility Answers, Inc.
http://infertilityanswers.org/
LaMothe Services, LLC
http://lamotheservices.com/

Girlfriend to Girlfriend, A Fertility Companion by Kristen Magnacca~ A LaMothe Book Review

 

I was thrilled to have the opportunity to read Girlfriend to Girlfriend after reviewing Love & Infertility: Survival Strategies for Balancing Infertility, Marriage and Life (2004) last year. Girlfriend to Girlfriend, A Fertility Companion by Kristen Magnacca was published in 2000 but the story and insights are still relevant today. Kristen shares her own infertility journey along with her frustrations and experiences and at the end of each chapter she shares tips that she learned along  the way. Some examples are learning to temper your optimism and remain hopeful, be your own advocate, having a fertility game plan, and nurturing yourself before during and after every procedure and surgery. Thoughout the entire book, Kristen tells you like it is and at the very end something magical happens, she is pregnant! And because she is pregnant, don't expect information on how to move past being childless and onto the land of acceptance. That just isn't part of this book...at least not from a personal prospective.  

 

Kristen Magnacca, is an author, speaker and consultant who over the last decade has had a wide range of experiences with both individuals and organizations. Kristen has developed the reputation as a valued resource and an expert on helping companies, individuals and couples clarify what matters most to their success and then creating the plan of action for achievement.

 

Girlfriend to Girlfriend, A Fertility Companion by Kristen Magnacca is a great read especially if you feel the need for extra support  while you are going through your own treatments. Knowing someone who has actually walked the path of infertility and won while learning from that experience can be invaluable as well as inspiring and comforting.

 

 

Tuesday is Tele-Coaching Night ~ Kristen Magnacca and Sharon LaMothe will discuss Third Party Family Building!! Come join us!

Kristen Magnacca is a noted author, coach, motivational speaker and expert on the emotional aspects of infertility. 

Advisor, Supporter, and Friend to Women Struggling with Infertility

While there is an ample supply of medical experts who offer advice and information to the two million women across the nation who experience infertility each year, there are few who can address the mental and emotional crisis known all too well by women who are being medically treated for infertility. Kristen Magnacca, author of Girlfriend to Girlfriend: A Fertility Companion (First Books Library, 2000) and Love & Infertility: Survival Strategies for Balancing Infertility, Marriage and Life (LifeLine Press, 2004), is the advisor, supporter, and friend infertile women need.

Please join Kristen and Sharon LaMothe on May 11, 2010!!

New Offering from Kristen Magnacca on the Second Tuesday of Each Month! Complimentary ~ Tuesday is Tele-Coaching Night ~

Time

6:30PM-7:30 PM EST (3:30 PM PST)

Location

Comfort of your own home!

Description

Beginning May 11th and every second Tuesday of each month join me for a complimentary Tele-coaching session.

Sharon LaMothe will join Kristen on May 11th to discuss Third Party Family Building!

Whether you are beginning your fertility treatments or beginning a new cycle call in and hear strategies, tid-bits and insights on how to move forward with ease.

RSVP to info@kristenmagnacca.com.

Making Babies: The Definitive Guide to Improving Your Fertility and Reproductive Health by Jason Jackson N.D. ~A LaMothe Book Review

Some books that come to me in the mail don't hold much of a surprise for me. They are just what they seem, at least if you judge the book by it's cover. Making Babies: The Definitive guide to improving Your Fertility and Reproductive Health by Jason Jackson N.D. certainly has a lot more to offer then I expected. To start, Jason Jackson runs a successful Natural Medicine practice from Brisbane, Australia. He has lectured and consulted extensively on numerous health topics throughout Australia and overseas. Mr Jackson specializes in reproductive health and infertility and is recognized as one of Australia's leading Naturopaths in this area and is an authority in the field of Clinical Nutrition and Herbal Medicine.

 

The introduction is what really captured my attention: "Over the thousands of years that humans have been able to reproduce, it has been only the last fifty years or so in the industrialized world, with its nutrient-depleted foods, genetically engineered agriculture, chemical processing, drugs, radiation and pollution, that we are now observing massive impacts on our ability to bear offspring, particularly in affluent Western societies." The last fifty years?

 

With chapters on Male and Female Reproductive Overviews, Preparing for Conception, Stress and Fertility, and yes, Medically Assisted Reproductive Technology (which is considered 'Plan C') I found that Jason Jackson was very adept at covering everything that one would need to know to do just that, Make Babies.

 

What I was really happy about were the detailed black and white photos depicting not only the human anatomy but also of fibroids, PCOS, IVF Procedure and quite a few more that add value to each chapter.

 

I recommend Making Babies The Definitive Guide to Improving Your Fertility and Reproductive Health by Jason Jackson N.D.  as a guide to your fertility wellness as well as a great infertility resource.

Daddy and Pop: By Guess Who? Multimedia and Pacific Fertility Center Los Angeles: A LaMothe Book Review

 
"You have to have a Mom! How can you be born if you didn't have a Mom?" This a question that every child will need to answer at some point in their life if they have a Daddy and a Pop that make up their own loving family. With the Love Makes a Family Book Series, Daddy and Pop help their little girl, Jessie, answer those questions in a very matter of fact way.  She learns that her Daddy and Pop wanted her so much that they chose an Egg Donor and a Gestational Surrogate to bring her into the world and into their arms.

 

Because of my own experience carrying twins for a gay couple (using donor eggs), I can relate to the telling of this story. Books like Daddy and Pop are perfect for younger children and will help them understand how they arrived in the world and prepare them for the inevitable questions that they will face from their peers. I personally hope that books with positive massages like these would be read when they are as young as 2 or 3 so that they will not be taken by surprise like little Jessie was, a first grader, in this story.

 

Daddy and Pop is part of Guess Who? Multimedia's musical book series, celebrating families made possible by egg and sperm donation, surrogacy, and adoption.

 

Sharon LaMothe
Infertility Answers, Inc.
http://infertilityanswers.org/
LaMothe Services, LLC
http://lamotheservices.com/

If at First You Don't Conceive: A Complete Guide to Infertility from One of the Nation's Leading Clinics by Dr. William Schoolcraft, MD, HCLD: A LaMothe Book Review

  If at First You Don't Conceive: A Complete Guide to Infertility from One of the Nation's Leading Clinics by Dr. William Schoolcraft, MD, HCLD, will not be available for release until March 16, 2010 but I have had the pleasure of receiving an advanced copy and highly suggest that you pre-order yours now!

There are two hundred and sixty five pages in If at First You Don't Conceive: A Complete Guide to Infertility from One of the Nation's Leading Clinics and each and everyone of them are worth reading. If you have just found out that you have a problem with fertility, this must be the first book you read. Not only does Dr. Schoolcraft talk about being your own best advocate he writes about the most common fertility challenges, the most common solutions for those challenges and covers the emotional challenges as well. I love the fact that he includes stories from his patient's which makes you feel connected to what this book is all about, validation, education, support and solutions.

If you are not familiar with Dr. WILLIAM SCHOOLCRAFT, MD, HCLD, he is a fertility specialist and researcher and is the director of the Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine.


Sharon LaMothe
Infertility Answers, Inc.
http://infertilityanswers.org/
LaMothe Services, LLC
http://lamotheservices.com/

I Wish You Enough: Embracing Life's Most Valuable Moments One Wish at a Time by Bob Perks: A LaMothe Book Review

  "I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.

I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye."

Do you want to give a little something to your Surrogate or Egg Donor? Then  I Wish You Enough: Embracing Life's Most Valuable Moments One Wish at a Time by Bob Perks is the perfect gift book. It has beautiful photographs, short antidotes and a sprinkling of supportive Bible verses that make this a relaxing read filled with Bob Perks' insightful messages. A nice addition to a gift basket, bouquet of flowers or a box of candy! (and great for Intended Parents too!)

 

Sharon LaMothe

Infertility Answers

LaMothe Services

This book was reviewed for Thomas Nelson

Love & Infertility: Survival Strategies for Balancing Infertility, Marriage and Life by Kristen Magnacca: A LaMothe Book Review

Love & Infertility: Survival Strategies for Balancing Infertility, Marriage and Life by Kristen Magnacca  is a must read for those experiencing infertility and are also noticing the toll it has taken on marriage and relationships. Kristen offers tips on dealing with stresses caused by infertility and offers suggestions and practical techniques to help couples to become better communicators. She reminds each of us that we are not alone and that we need to celebrate each victory and take time for ourselves. Not to mention the most important fact of all, that a couple is already a family no matter if they have a child or not. 

 

Here is a little information about Kristen Magnacca from her bio located on Amazon.com:

 

Kristen Magnacca, is an author, speaker and consultant who over the last decade has had a wide range of experiences with both individuals and organizations. Kristen has developed the reputation as a valued resource and an expert on helping companies, individuals and couples clarify what matters most to their success and then creating the plan of action for achievement.

As a presenter, Kristen brings a unique message focused on distilling an extensive range of information into easy-to-use strategies. She speaks with candid insight and a well-developed sense of humor from her own personal life experiences.

Prior to founding her consulting practice, Kristen's entrepreneurial spirit helped her create Crickets Corner Learning Center. Over a 10-year period, she and her staff of 18, favorably impacted the lives of more than 500 children. Some of her best ideas were developed while interacting with a room full of 5-year olds.

In 2000, Kristen wrote "Girlfriend to Girlfriend: A Fertility Companion" followed in 2003 by "Love and Infertility: Survival Strategies for Balancing Infertility, Marriage and Life". Kristen has a passion for understanding the mind, body connection and has spent the last ten years investigating and learning about different mind/body enhancing modalities.

Kristen has appeared on the Today Show and testified before the United States Senate regarding the importance of the mind-body connection regarding fertility. In 2006, Kristen wrote "Everyday Certainty, Identifying Your True Life Plan" to bring her proven concepts to a broader audience.

Her work has been featured in both print and television media including The Boston Globe, Conceive Magazine, Women's World as well as FOXTV, PBS Health Week and Chronicle.

Kristen is Vice President and a Board Member for RESOLVE of the Bay State. She is a graduate of Westfield State College where she majored in education. She resides in the Boston area with her husband, Mark, and two children, Cole and Grace. Her favorite celebration ritual is dancing each night to 70's music in their kitchen after eating dinner.

 

Sharon LaMothe
Infertility Answers, Inc.
http://infertilityanswers.org/
LaMothe Services, LLC
http://lamotheservices.com/

 

Standing in Two Places by Ashley Dyson: A LaMothe Book Review

 I just finished reading Standing in Two Places by Ashley Dyson and as always, wanted to share my honest thoughts with you. Although it's a 'thin' book, only 161 pages in length, it is thick with emotion as Ashley describes the circumstances that leads her to the Center for Surrogate Parenting and ultimately to her goal of having her 2nd child with the help of her surrogate mother, Norah. 

 

Infertility is an individualized journey as is surrogacy. Each Intended Parent has their own coping mechanism and apparently Ashley has found hers in reading the likes of Erik H. Erikson (Identity: Youth and Crisis) and Betty Lifton (Journey of the Adopted Self) among several other books and she quotes them quite often amongst the 161 pages of her book...is that to avoid going to deeply into the relationship she has with Norah? Because there isn't much regarding the actual surrogacy relationship. (Ashley does recount her feelings on the paper work she receives from the surrogacy agency on how to treat her surrogate and frankly seems a little "put off" on page 108)

I believe that Intended Mothers/Parents who are going through the surrogacy process will relate to many of the emotions that are shared within the pages of this memoir. However, for me, it seemed a bit superficial only because there were so many other manuscripts, articles, books, and quotes between the pages and no real exploration (that I was expecting to find) regarding the relationship between the surrogate mother, Norah, and Ashley.

This is about one woman's story....it is far and away from any sort of "guide book". To complete and publish a book like this, about personal relationships, disappointments and hard decisions, has to be applauded. I recommend Standing in Two Places to those who want to take a peek into one woman's surrogacy journey, not to compare but to relate.

 

Sharon LaMothe
Infertility Answers, Inc.
http://infertilityanswers.org/

Budgeting for Infertility by Evelina Weidman Sterling and Angie Best-Boss: A LaMothe Book Review

 

Especially important in our current financial crisis, Budgeting for Infertility is a timely and accurate depiction of what it takes to pay for Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART) to complete a family. I found this book not only assists with budgeting but also educating Intended Parents on all aspects of ART including treatment terms, how to choose a clinic, finding affordable fertility medications, understanding the financial options and even exploring adoption. I especially liked reading the comments from Intended Parents who know first hand what it's like to travel down the road of infertility treatments. I highly recommend this book for anyone starting out, or even in the middle of their own personal infertility journey. Well worth buying and passing along.

 

Synopsis

Having a baby can be one of the most wonderful times of your life -- but if you need help to conceive, it can swiftly become a staggeringly expensive undertaking. With the average cost of infertility treatments ranging from $35,000 to $85,000 in the United States (most of which is not covered by insurance companies), many women and couples find themselves having to make difficult choices about building their families.

Getting a grip on your finances is one of the few things you can do to regain control of this process. Infertility experts Evelina Weidman Sterling and Angie Best-Boss have created the ultimate guide to ensuring the most cost-effective care with the highest chances for success. With anecdotes, interviews, and advice from both doctors and patients, you can easily apply these specific money-saving strategies to your own unique situation. Learn how to:

- Select a fertility clinic with a high rate of success

- Convince your insurance company to cover more of the costs

- Track down the most affordable fertility drugs

- Travel abroad for cheaper care or international surrogacy

- Avoid the scams and unnecessary expenses every step of the way

Personal and professional, Budgeting for Infertility is an invaluable resource that shows you how to pay for infertility treatment...and still have money in the bank for diapers and day care.

 

Sharon LaMothe

http://infertilityanswers.org/

Impossible is just a word

Alice laughed. "There's no use trying," she said. "One can't

believe impossible things."

"I dare say you haven't much practice," said the

Queen. "When I was your age I did it for half an hour a day.

Why sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible

things before breakfast."

-Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking-Glass

    Hey out there. You know who you are...don't give up hope. Just remember that if one way doesn't work out all you need to do is keep an open mind and look at a different prospective. You can get what you want. It just may be wrapped in a different package. Impossible is just a word.

Sharon

www.InfertilityAnswers.net

Chicken Soup for the Soul: Twins and More

Okay, I know some of you out there have some great stories in you. This is a great way to get published - plus earn $200 for your writing.

Chicken Soup for the Soul: Twins and More

Whether you are a twin, the parent of twins, related to twins, acquainted with twins or just simply fascinated with twins, you're sure to have an inspirational, humorous, or touching story about this relationship! We are looking for stories and poems that highlight the special bond that twins share, the joys and challenges of raising twins, the unique circumstances of their

arrival, the "double trouble" that twins get into, the "multiple blessings" of being a twin or having them in the family, and much more! We'd love to hear about triplets, quads and more, too. As with all Chicken Soup for the Soul stories, they should be told in the first person, not be previously published, and not exceed 1,200 words. Topics may include but are not limited to:

. The journey through infertility, resulting in twin blessings

. The joys and challenges of pregnancy with multiples

. The perils of prematurity and life in the NICU

. Getting the good news and sharing it with others

. Sleepless nights and endless feedings

. The incidents that make twins "double trouble"

. The pranks and "switcheroos" pulled by identical twins

. Being a singleton in a home with multiples

. The chaos and silliness of everyday life with twins

. The special bond that twins share

. Adventures in double potty-training

. Getting out and about with twins, whether it's to the store or on vacation

. Grandparenting twins

. Twins who arrive under special circumstances, such as adoption or surrogacy

. Single parenting with multiples

. The loss of a twin sibling

. Tackling the teenage years as a twin

. Twin tales from preschool, elementary school, high school and adult life

. . . and more!

Pass it on!Chicken Soup for the Soul-Stories

Reflections

 

     Ok...Some time for reflection....Life isn't all about Surrogacy or our reproductive organs OR, for that matter, our mental and emotional exhaustion over those subjects. If you REALLY want to feel exhausted then please read these two books in order: The Pillars of the Earth: Books: Ken Follett And World Without End: Books: Ken Follett I am on page 658 (or so) of this 950 (or so) World Without End book....this sequel of The Pillars of the Earth is awesome and takes place in the early 1300's. Now if you feel that you are taking your life and personal situation for granted then this is the book for you! Medical treatments? Prayer (and perhaps rose water), Bathing? Try 2x per year and with fear for your life! Sleeping arrangements? Try all in one room, perhaps on the floor, with the kids...maybe the in laws...and guests...in the tick filled straw....night after night after night. I don't know if I can do justice to the diet...one "meal" is called pottage. Its basically a steaming pot of gruel that is added to throughout the day (or week or month) by tossing in the scraps that you wouldn't eat otherwise..such as apple cores and pea pods. Yuck!

     I compare this to my current situation...ahhhhhh running water and a (3) flushing toilet! I don't have to lug wood...I just flick the switch on the gas fire place and Voila! I have made fire!! (They would LOVE me on Survivor!) I have enough clothes that I could probably wear a different outfit for two months straight without having to do laundry. BUT when I DO wash the clothes I can thank Kenmore (and no, that isn't a servant) for my wonderful washer and dryer! I am just waiting for something that can automatically fold all those clothes! And the Entertainment!! I don't have to wait for a barn dance, a wedding or harvest time! I can sit down in one of the many reclining comfy sofa's and with a magic wand like controller, I push a button and I can see the world from the comfort of my home OR listen to any kind of music and watch all sorts of dancing! Fantastic!

     I think you might be seeing, my wonderful readers, that sometimes we are only looking at our own little box and every once in a while we need to crawl over those walls...or at least boost ourselves up to peek and appreciate what we have now, at this very moment and reflect at how far we have come and prepare ourselves for where we want to end up next.

Sharon

WWW.InfertilityAnswers.net

Acknowledge the Good: Quote

If you have a favorite quote or have read something recently that you would like to share please send it my way. This quote below is from a surrogate who has a very positive attitude! Thank you!!

Sharon

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If the thought of lack - whether it be money, recognition or love- has become part of who you think you are, you will always experience lack.  Rather than acknowledge the good that is already in your life, all you see is the lack.

-Eckhart Tolle: A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose (Pg 190)

www.InfertilityAnswers.net