Surrogacy 101

What Every Parent Should Know About BMI (WebMD Medical Reference)

As children grow and their bodies change, it's not always easy for parents to tell if a child falls within a healthy weight range. Body mass index, or BMI for short, is a standard measurement of body fat. Your child's BMI can help you determine if he is at risk for health problems based on his weight. Measuring the waist or neck circumference is another way to measure body fat in kids. Your health care provider may also do this.

The CDC and the American Academy of Pediatrics recommend BMI screenings for all kids age 2 and older. Here's what you need to know about checking on your child's BMI and what to do with the info once you have it.

What is BMI for Kids?

BMI estimates how much body fat you have. Calculating a child's BMI number starts out just like calculating an adult's BMI. It's based on height and weight. But for kids, height and weight alone aren't as accurate as they are for adults. Why? Because kids' body fat percentages change as they grow. Kids' BMIs vary based on their age and gender.

That's why when health care professionals talk about a child's BMI, you won't usually hear a plain BMI number, like 25, but rather a BMI percentile, like 75th. These BMI percentiles show how a child's BMI compares to other children of the same age and gender. To calculate the BMI percentile -- which is also called "BMI for age" -- a health care provider or an online tool like WebMD’s FIT Kids BMI Calculator takes a kid's BMI (along with age and gender) and looks it up on a pediatric growth curve. This gives the child's BMI percentile.

BMI percentiles are grouped into weight categories:

• Underweight: below the 5th percentile
• Healthy Weight: 5th percentile up to the 85th percentile
• Overweight: 85th percentile up to the 95th percentile
• Obese: 95th percentile or higher

So, for example, a 6-year-old boy with a 75th percentile BMI has a higher BMI than 75 out of 100 6-year-old boys. And though you may think that means he is heavy, he is considered a healthy weight.

Talking With Your Pediatrician About BMI for Kids

Many parents assume that if their child had a high BMI, their pediatrician would tell them. But that's not necessarily the case. Sometimes pediatricians may not bring up weight issues with parents. So if you're interested in your child's BMI percentile, it's best to ask directly.

Some school districts have started to measure all children's BMIs in school. The school then sends home a BMI report card to alert parents to any weight issues. Although some parents don't like the idea of schools sending report cards with their child's BMI, experts say that the point is not to embarrass anyone. It's to let parents know about a health problem with serious consequences. 

Studies from the U.K. show that children's BMI report cards can work. One study found that after getting a BMI report, about 50% of the parents with overweight children made some healthy changes to their lifestyle.

How Accurate is BMI for Kids?

Experts generally consider BMI for kids to be a good measure of body fat, at least among heavier children. But there are some cases in which BMI might be misleading. Athletic kids, in particular, may fall into the overweight category when they are actually muscular.

Your child's BMI is important, but it is only a piece of the picture. If a BMI percentile indicates that your child is not within the healthy range, she needs a complete weight and lifestyle evaluation with a pediatrician.

The pediatrician will likely follow up with an exam to see how far along your child is in her development and perhaps tests for weight-related health conditions, and by asking questions about her diet and exercise, whether weight is an issue for her, and your family history. This information will allow the health care provider to determine the best way to respond to an underweight, overweight, or obese BMI percentile.

Tips for a BMI Percentile in Healthy Range

Experts recommend that kids of all ages and all weight categories follow these healthy guidelines to help keep weight in check. It's easy to remember them as 5-2-1-0 every day.

• 5: Everyone in your family needs five servings of vegetables and fruits. Keep serving them even if kids don't eat them. Familiarity increases the likelihood that they'll eventually try a food. Give a fruit or vegetable with every snack or meal.
• 2: Limit TV-watching to no more than two hours a day. Family members who use other "screens" -- video games or computers, for instance -- get less TV time.  Experts also recommend not having TVs in bedrooms.
• 1: Get one hour of physical activity. Add up the minutes each family member is moving -- it should be 60 minutes or more. Start small and keep adding if necessary. The goal is to have all those minutes be at least moderate activity, sweating after about 10 minutes.
• 0: That's how many sugar-sweetened beverages you should have a day. Juice drinks such as lemonade and fruit punch, sodas, tea, and coffee can all have added sugar. Stick to water and reduced-fat milk instead.

Here are some other expert-recommended eating guidelines.

• Start each day with breakfast.
• Avoid eating fast food, and the temptations from eating out in general.
• Eat together as a family -- regularly.
• Check portion sizes, and serve your family accordingly.

Foods to Help You Feel Better By Elaine Magee, MPH, RD

Are you feeling down in the dumps? Are you irritated at how often you’ve been irritable?

Perhaps it’s time to look at the foods and drinks you consume to see if they are trashing your mood. Nutrition experts say that the foods you eat can help you feel better -- or feel worse -- in the short-term and the long-term. 

• Meal-to-meal and day-to-day, keeping your blood sugars steady and your gastrointestinal (GI) tract running smoothly will help you feel good and energetic. If your blood sugars are on a roller-coaster ride -- hitting highs and lows from too much sugar and refined flour – you are more likely to feel out of sorts. This is also true if your gastrointestinal system is distressed due to intense hunger from a fad diet or constipation because you aren’t getting enough fiber and water.  

• Week-to-week and month-to-month, keeping your body healthy and disease-free makes good moods more likely. For example, key nutrients you get in certain foods can influence the levels of feel-good hormones such as serotonin. Other nutrients can help prevent inflammation so blood circulates well to all of your organs.

“Eating a heart healthy diet -- high in fiber and low in saturated fat -- is a great place to start to boost your mood. There isn’t any question about it, says Diane M. Becker MPH, ScD, director of the Center for Health Promotion at the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine.

Conversely, “a high-fat, high-glycemic load meal can make you physically feel dysfunction in your body. People who eat this type of meal tend to feel bad and sleepy afterwards,” she says.

6 Tips for Foods and Beverages That Help You Feel Good

1. Seek out foods rich in vitamin B12 and folic acid (folate).

What’s special about chili made with kidney beans and lean beef? Or a light chicken Caesar salad made with skinless chicken breast and romaine lettuce? Or grilled salmon with a side of broccoli?

All these dishes feature one food that is rich in folic acid (folate) and another that is rich in vitamin B12. These two vitamins appear to help prevent disorders of the central nervous system, mood disorders, and dementias, says Edward Reynolds, MD, at the Institute of Epileptology, King’s College, London.

The link between higher food intakes of folate and a lower prevalence of depressive symptoms crosses cultures, too. A recent study confirmed this association in Japanese men. 

Folic acid is usually found in beans and greens. Vitamin B12 is found in meats, fish, poultry, and dairy.

Other dishes that feature B-12 and folic acid-rich foods include:

• A burrito or enchilada made with black beans plus beef, chicken, or pork

• A spinach salad topped with crab or salmon

• An egg white or egg substitute omelet filled with sauteed spinach and reduced-fat cheese

2. Enjoy fruits and vegetables in a big way.

Fruits and vegetables are packed with key nutrients and antioxidant phytochemicals, which directly contribute to your health and health-related quality of life.

In a one study, eating two more servings of fruits and vegetables a day was associated with an 11% higher likelihood of good functional health. People who ate the highest amount of fruits and vegetables felt better about their health.

3. Eat selenium-rich foods every day.

Selenium is a mineral that acts like an antioxidant in the body. What do antioxidants have to do with feeling better and minimizing bad moods? Research suggests that the presence of oxidative stress in the brain is associated with some cases of mild to moderate depression in the elderly population. 

One study evaluated the depression scores of elderly people whose daily diet was either supplemented with 200 micrograms of selenium a day or a placebo. Although more research is needed to confirm the findings, the group taking selenium had higher amounts of selenium circulating in their blood and significant decreases in their depression symptoms.

Try to get at least the recommended daily allowance for selenium: 55 micrograms a day for men and women.

Whole grains are an excellent source of selenium. By eating several servings a day of whole grains such as oatmeal, whole-grain bread, and brown rice, you can easily get 70 micrograms of selenium. Other foods rich in selenium include:

• Beans and legumes

• Lean meat (lean pork or beef, skinless chicken or turkey)

• Low-fat dairy foods

• Nuts and seeds (especially Brazil nuts)

• Seafood (oysters, clams, crab, sardines, and fish)

4. Eat fish several times a week.

Several recent studies have suggested that men and women have a lower risk of having symptoms of depression if they eat a lot of fish, particularly fatty fish like salmon, which is high in omega-3 fatty acids.

Omega-3s from fish seem to have positive effects on clinically defined mood swings such as postpartum depression, says Jay Whelan, PhD, head of the department of nutrition at the University of Tennessee.

Good sources of omega-3 fatty acids include:

• Herring

• Rainbow trout

• Salmon

• Sardines

• Tuna

   

5. Get a daily dose of vitamin D.

Does a little time in the sun seem to make you feel better? The sun’s rays allow our bodies to synthesize and regulate vitamin D. 

Four recent studies showed an association between low serum levels of vitamin D and higher incidences of four mood disorders: PMS, seasonal affective disorder, nonspecified mood disorder, and major depressive disorder.

Researcher Pamela K. Murphy, PhD, at the Medical University of South Carolina says people can help manage their moods by getting at least 1,000 to 2,000 IU of vitamin D a day.

That’s significantly more than the Institute of Medicine’s Recommended Dietary Allowance for vitamin D, which is 600 IU daily for ages 1 to 70, and 800 IU for people over 70.

Very few foods naturally contain vitamin D. So she recommends we get vitamin D from a variety of sources: short periods of sun exposure, vitamin D supplements, and foods.

Vitamin D can be found in:

• Fatty fish such as salmon, tuna, and mackerel

• Beef liver

• Cheese

• Egg yolks

But our primary source of dietary vitamin D is fortified foods, such as breakfast cereals, breads, juices, and milk.

6. Treat Yourself to 1 oz of Chocolate

“Small amounts of dark chocolate can be a physical upper,” says Becker at Johns Hopkins. “Dark chocolate has an effect on the levels of brain endorphins,” those feel-good chemicals that our bodies produce. Not only that, but dark chocolate also seems to have a heart-healthy anti-clogging effect in our blood vessels.

In one study from the Netherlands, Dutch men who ate 1/3 of a chocolate bar each day had lower levels of blood pressure and lower rates of heart disease. The chocolate also boosted their general sense of well-being.

How Foods and Beverages May Make You Feel Bad

Just as some foods can help you feel better, others can make you feel down. Here are ways to reduce the harmful effects of three foods that can drag you down.  

1. Reduce foods high in saturated fat.

Saturated fat is well known for its role in promoting heart disease and some types of cancer. Now researchers suspect saturated fat also plays a role in depression.

The link was found in a study called the Coronary Health Improvement Project, which followed 348 people between the 24 and 81. A decrease in saturated fat over a six-week period was associated with a decrease in depression.  

2. Limit alcohol carefully.

That “feel-good” drink, alcohol, is actually a depressant. In small doses, alcohol can produce a temporary feeling of euphoria. But the truth is that alcohol is a chemical depressant to the human brain and affects all nerve cells.

Depending on the amount of alcohol consumed, people can go quickly from feeling relaxed to experiencing exaggerated emotions and impaired coordination.

It’s no coincidence that depressive disorders often co-occur with substance abuse, and one of the main forms of substance abuse in this country is alcohol.

3. Don’t go crazy with caffeine.

Caffeine can increase irritability a couple of ways.

• If the caffeine you consume later in the day disrupts your nighttime sleeping, you are likely to be cranky and exhausted until you get a good night’s rest.

• Caffeine can also bring on a burst or two of energy, often ending with a spiral into fatigue.

Some people are more sensitive than others to the troublesome effects of caffeine. If you are sensitive to caffeine, decrease the amount of coffee, tea, and sodas you drink to see if this helps uplift your mood and energy level, particularly in the latter part of the day.

 

The Role Of A Therapist During A Donor Egg Cycle by Carole Lieber Wilkins as Posted by Marna Gatlin of PVED

This essay was written by Carole Lieber Wilkins, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice in West Los Angeles. A specialist in the field of reproductive medicine, adoption and family building options since 1986, she became a founding member of Resolve of Greater Los Angeles in 1987 and served on the Board of Directors in various positions for the next 14 years.

Carole is first and foremost a mother via egg donation and adoption. Carole is also an active member of The Mental Health Professional Group (MHPG) which is a part of ASRM. This group is a multidisciplinary group that formed in 1985 with the full support of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM). Its mission is to promote scientific understanding of the psychological, social, and emotional perspectives of infertility patients

During a discussion about the roles therapists fulfill with intended parents during DE cycles Carole took the time to write an essay talking about what exactly that role is. - Marna Gatlin

I have been meeting with patients pursuing gamete donation, embryo donation, and surrogacy for many, many years. I don't call them, nor do I consider them to be evaluations or assessments, despite the fact that the clinics do tell patients they need a “psychological evaluation” before proceeding. My attempt to educate clinic staff has not been successful in changing their language, thus, patients often come in defensive and angry. I attempt to put them at ease immediately by telling them the meeting is not an evaluation and it is not my job to decide whether or not they are worthy of becoming parents. Their response is visceral. Shoulders drop, faces relax, and they breathe. Then we can proceed.

I tell patients I see my role as educative in two ways: to talk about the ways in which building a family thru gamete donation is DIFFERENT from having a family the easy and inexpensive way; and to play the role of child advocate.

I tell patients that I try to represent the only person in the family building equation who has no vote, but is the sole reason for the endeavor—the unborn child. The children resulting from all the procedures have no voice in how it all happens, (as no children have a vote in how they are conceived.)

I try to put a spin on what we DO know about how individuals feel who come into families thru donor conception, surrogacy, etc., regardless of the single/married, gay/straight constellation of the family.

We DO know some things that make healthy families and we DO know now from studies of DE and DS offspring how people feel about their means of conception and all that goes with it.

We DO know that it is normal and common for people to grieve the loss of a genetic link to an offspring.

We DO know how most infertility patients feel after being in treatment for a period of time.

Many have recently written about “the brave new world” we are involved in, but I wonder when it will stop being a brave new world. Yes, the stakes keep getting higher as technology tests our ethical boundaries of what can be done, but should it be done. However, surrogacy is now 30 years old. Donor sperm has been around forever and the first child born thru egg donation is now 27. Many people now have “children” through gamete donation who haven’t been children in a long time. In fact, some parents through gamete donation are now grandparents. It’s not that new and we DO know many things to be true.

With some exceptions, the report I send to a doctor reflects the discussion of the many complex issues that accompany complicated family building. Gamete donation families are special needs families, as are adoptive families, and many other kinds of families. This requires unique preparation and knowledge. Special needs are not bad; they’re just special, aka “a little extra.” I call it parenting plus. These families have all the stuff “regular” families have, with a healthy dose of EXTRA.

Even in a brief consultation, we can get a rough idea of whether there is psychopathology (vs. neurosis, thank goodness, or surely most of us would have never become parents), substance or spousal abuse or other issues that would make us significantly concerned about bringing a child into the household. In those cases, I recommend further counseling or whatever is needed. But most of the time, I think, our patients are as unqualified to parent as anyone off the street, only now, because they have been required to see us, they are much better educated about certain aspects of family building and parenting.

When patients leave my office, I hope they have more questions than when they walked in.

I hope they are thinking about gamete donation differently than when they resentfully made the appt. (if required by physician).

I hope they no longer think gamete donation is no big deal.

I hope they are thinking about what it would be like to grow up in a home where your parents didn’t have enough respect to tell the truth about who you are, or where parents were too scared to tell the truth.

I hope they think about the fact that it won’t matter what other people say about gamete donation as long as they as parents are fierce protectors and advocates for the family they created and how they created it, thereby claiming children as one’s own.

I hope my patients leave my office knowing that infertility is a lifelong disease that goes into remission for long periods of time, and then springs up again at the least expected moments.

I hope my patients leave my office armed with the response to the dreaded exclamation:
“I don’t have to listen to you because you’re not my real mother!!”

I want them to leave my office having shifted from being terrified their kid will someday say that to them, to looking forward to it because they are prepared and ready to help guide their child through the muddy waters of trying to figure out who they actually are.

All that in an hour? We do what we can with what little we are given.

Carole LieberWilkins, M.F.T.
Los Angeles, CA
(310) 470-9049
www.LAfamilybuilding.com

Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology Releases Latest Clinical Outcomes Data: 58,727 Children Born from 2010 ART Procedures

Washington, DC - The latest data on assisted reproductive technologies in the United States has been released by the Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology. SART’s 2010 IVF Success Rate National Summary builds on many of the previous year's positive trends: transferring fewer embryos per cycle and increased use of single embryo transfer leading to further reductions in percentage of twins and high-order multiple births in critical lower-age categories.

 

For 2010, 370 clinics reported data to SART on 146,693 treatment cycles leading to the birth of 58,727 babies.

 

Glenn Schattman MD, President of SART, noted, “We are continuing our focus on ART best practices, performance, and safety.  Using our comprehensive ART treatment registry, new features that provide the earliest access to current data, greater transparency and clarity, SART now presents users with guidance on the definitions and recommended interpretations of fields that appear on the Clinic Summary Reports at www.sart.org.  As users mouse over various elements on the new report, pop-up text bubbles inform the user on how each calculation was derived and provide additional information to help patients better interpret success rates.  This is an important step but one of many SART is taking to improve access and understanding of ART treatment metrics."

 

At sart.org, data from all reporting clinics are aggregated in the National Summary Report. Individual clinic reports, as well as the National Summary Report, include a convenient drop down box allowing viewers to see previous years' reports; data from 2003 through 2010 are posted. Additionally, the clinic reports note procedures each clinic offers with corresponding success rates, and allows prospective patients to request information from clinics with a single click. Go to www.sart.org and click on "IVF Success Rate Reports" to view the National Report or search for SART member clinics in your area.

 

Over the Counter Sperm Test Provides Incomplete Information to Measure Male Fertility

In April, Walgreens and CVS will begin selling the SpermCheck Fertility test, a $39.95 over the counter test that determines whether men have a normal sperm count. Fertility experts share that there are other critical factors such as motility (movement characteristics of sperm) and morphology (appearance of sperm) as equally important which are not tested. Additionally, the test measures a normal sperm count at 20 million or more sperm per milliliter of semen while the industry standard for optimal fertility is 15 million, potentially causing unnecessary concern for men with a negative test result. When taking the test, men who test positive for 20 million or more per milliliter of semen see a reddish line in their test results, while those who have less than 20 million per milliliter do not see a result. The test is 96 percent accurate and will be sold at 7,800 stores across the US in April.  

Dr. Ed Marut, Medical Director of Fertility Centers of Illinois, is concerned men will be misguided with their test results. “SpermCheck Fertility exploits the reluctance of men to be evaluated for their fertility properly and may give couples a false sense of hope or cause unnecessary anxiety. The test gives a very simplified result without taking into account additional health conditions. A negative test result may really be normal, while a positive test tells nothing of the other critical parameters of a real semen analysis, such as motility and morphology. Men need to receive a thorough, accurate semen analysis interpreted by a reproductive endocrinologist to accurately maximize chances of pregnancy success.” 

In order to understand male fertility, it is critical to understand the main components involved, which are illustrated below. Couples are also encouraged to complete basic testing for fertility if they have trouble conceiving. Fertility Centers of Illinois offers a fertility check-up for couples which includes bloodwork and a semen analysis evaluated by a board certified reproductive endocrinologist for $90. 

Sperm Health: What Men Need to Know 

• Sperm Count:

It is critical for men to have a healthy sperm count for optimal fertility. Men with at least 15 million sperm per milliliter are well within a normal, healthy sperm count. The average human ejaculate contains about 180 million sperm (66 million/ml), but some ejaculates contain as many as 400 million sperm.

• Morphology: (appearance)

A healthy sperm has an oval head and long tail, allowing for the sperm to be propelled forward effectively. When a sperm has a small, large, misshapen, crooked or tapered head, its ability to fertilize an egg is decreased. Sperm with tails that are doubled, curled or kinky are also unlikely to fertilize an egg. Fertile men have a normal shape and structure to 14 percent of their sperm, but at least four percent is thought to be the lower limit of fertilizing capacity.

• Motility: (movement)

The ability of a sperm to propel itself and move forward is imperative to successful conception. Sperm that are immobile, slow or have inhibited motility due to morphology abnormalities are unable to reach the egg for fertilization. Fertile men have 40 percent or more of their sperm exhibiting healthy motility.

Men with a lower sperm count, low morphology or low motility may need the assistance of reproductive endocrinologists to optimize fertility odds. This can be accomplished through a variety of infertility treatment methods such as methods such as semen processing for intrauterine insemination and In Vitro Fertilization using ICSI (the injection of a sperm into an egg.)

# # #

Fertility Centers of Illinois, S.C., is one of the nation's leading fertility treatment practices, providing advanced reproductive endocrinology services in the Chicago area for more than 30 years.  FCI physicians, embryologists and support staff are stringently chosen based on educational background, medical skills and their ability to collaborate. With a team of 11 nationally and internationally recognized reproductive physicians who treat thousands of patients each year, the practice has earned a reputation for overcoming hard-to-solve fertility issues. FCI is dedicated to medical and clinical excellence and continues to invest in the latest technologies and research. FCI offers a comprehensive range of fertility treatment options including intrauterine insemination, in vitro fertilization, donor egg, gestational carrier, and preimplantation genetic diagnosis, as well as extensive resources to address financial and emotional needs. Fostering a culture for continuous innovation has made FCI home to the annual Midwest Reproductive Symposium which attracts experts in the field of reproductive endocrinology from around the world.  FCI has 10 offices conveniently located throughout the Chicagoland area (Buffalo Grove, Chicago/River North, Crystal Lake, Glenview, Highland Park, Hoffman Estates, Lindenhurst, Naperville, Oakbrook Terrace, and Orland Park). FCI is a member of the Attain Fertility Network which provides discounted fertility treatment programs. For more information visit www.fcionline.com

 

ASRM and SART Exert Pressure to Hinder Legislation in Several States

As expected, personhood legislation was overwhelmingly approved by both the Virginia House of Delegates and the Oklahoma Senate this week. In Virginia, the GOP controlled House approved HB1 which now moves to the Senate for a hearing February 23 at which an ASRM member is preparing to testify. RESOLVE, The National Infertility Association also held a press briefing which garnered press attention on the harms of the bill. In Oklahoma, the Senate approved SB1433. ASRM/SART sent letters of opposition to lawmakers in both states and activated its members to send their own letters. Meanwhile, a personhood bill has been filed in Mississippi.

 

In Maryland, ASRM/SART submitted letters of opposition on HB 873/SB 508, legislation aimed at governing surrogacy contracts, but that go much further in application. The bills would require a fitness standard of intended parents, a level of scrutiny that is unprecedented and unwarranted and would permit a court to terminate a gestational carrier agreement for good cause, a term not defined. ASRM is gravely concerned about provisions creating an assisted reproduction registry that far exceeds federal law reporting requirements and which would require tracking of every embryo. Hearings will be held in the House Judiciary Committee and Senate Judicial Proceedings Committee on February 23 and March 6 respectively. An ASRM representative will testify at those hearings.

 

Legislation to ban all surrogacy contracts passed the South Dakota House this week. HB1255 has been referred to the Senate Health and Human Services Committee, members of which received a letter of opposition from ASRM/SART.

 

ASRM/SART sent a letter of opposition to members of the New York House and Senate health committees regarding problematic sperm donor legislation. AB 9039/SB 6272 would curtail the rights of patients who need a sperm donor to build their families. The bills would limit to ten the number of offspring any one donor can conceive and create a donor registry in the state. ASRM argued there is no scientific evidence to support the cap at ten and referenced existing professional guidelines while maintaining a single state based registry would not only be ineffective, but also intrusive.  

 

NCHS Issues Data Brief on Increase in Twin Births via the ASRM

Today, the U.S. Center for Disease Control and Prevention’s National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS) released a data brief on the increase of twin births over the last three decades. Among the key findings reported by the NCHS:  

 

• In 2009, 1 in every 30 babies born in the United States was a twin, compared with 1 in every 53 babies in 1980.

• The twin birth rate rose 76 percent from 1980 through 2009, from 18.9 to 33.3 per 1,000 births.

• If the rate of twin births had not changed since 1980, approximately 865,000 fewer twins would have been born in the United States over the last three decades.

• Over the three decades, twin birth rates rose by nearly 100 percent among women aged 35–39 and more than 200 percent among women aged 40 and over.

• The older age of women at childbirth in 2009 compared with three decades earlier accounts for only about one-third of the rise in twinning over the 30 years. The remaining increase is assumed to be from an increase in the use of infertility treatments.

 

The report highlights the impact that the rise in the rate of twins has had on perinatal health and rates of preterm birth and low birthweight.

 

To view the data brief, go to:  http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/databriefs/db80.htm

 

The Affordable Care Act: Find Out More at Fertility Within Reach

YOU can make the difference!
 
Beginning 2014, under the Affordable Care Act, consumers can choose and purchase insurance plans that will cover a comprehensive and affordable set of health services.

The Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) has created a proposal to establish how essential health benefits will be defined and what they include.  At this time, Infertility benefits are not included. 

States with mandated insurance coverage risk losing their benefits!

 

Public input on the HHS proposal is encouraged. Comments are due by Jan 31, 2012 and can be sent to: EssentialHealthBenefits@cms.hhs.gov

 

HHS needs to know why Infertility benefits are essential and affordable.

 

It’s simple: Fertility Within Reach’s website has:
· Facts and research supporting multiple cost-savings to insurance premiums associated with the coverage of infertility insurance benefits.
· A sample letter to get you started.

 

Visit www.fertilitywithinreach.org

 

Happy 2012 from LaMothe Surrogacy Consulting and LaMothe Services, LLC!

We will open the book.  Its pages are blank.  We are going to put words on them ourselves.  The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day.  ~Edith Lovejoy Pierce

Wishing you all the best in the year to come!

Sharon LaMothe

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from LaMothe Surrogacy Consulting

Wishing you a Merry Christmas and a safe and happy Holiday Season!

Why I'm So Special: A Book About Surrogacy With Two Daddies by Carla Lewis-Long

Carla Lewis-Long’s first book, WHY I’M SO SPECIAL: A BOOK ABOUT SURROGACY rated a 5 star review by surrogacy expert, Sharon LaMothe on Amazon.com. A good accomplishment, but Carla didn’t feel as the full story was told. According to U.S. Census, there's a growing number of same-sex parents in America today: between 1.5 million and 5 million, in 1976, that number was estimated to be 300,000 to 500,000. And a recent report by CNN, stated that children with same-sex parents should be prepared for questions from strangers and classmates. "After writing my first children's book on surrogacy, I realized that the majority of people that use surrogates are same sex couples and I wanted them to also have a book to read to their children about their journey.” So on December 19, Carla releases  the second volume, WHY I’M SO SPECIAL: A BOOK ABOUT SURROGACY WITH TWO DADDIES (AuthorHouse ISBN:9781468500073), and introduces 9 year old, Tyler Simone Newman, who illustrates the book.

Surrogacy for two dad households have been bolstered by the recent news of celebrities such as Neil Patrick Harris having twins Harper Grace and Gideon Scott in October 2010, Ricky Martin having twins Valentino and Matteo in 2008, and Elton John  getting the best Christmas gift of all, Zachary Jackson Levon one year ago.

According to the advocacy group, Resolve, 7.3 million people in the U.S. are affected by infertility. Carla Lewis-Long’s fertility issues led her to Creative Family Connections, which helped find a wonderful surrogate to carry her baby. Her first book, Why I’m So Special: A Book About Surrogacy is a story for all parents who used a surrogate to share with their young children, to let them know just how special they are. The second installment focuses on the two dad household and how that journey may be explained to the children.

Besides being a loving mom to Makana Elliott Long, Carla Lewis-Long is VP, Distribution for nuvoTV. She has spent 17 years in television, working at networks such as AmericanLife TV, Oxygen, and USA Network. CableFax Magazine named her as one of the "Most Influential Minorities In Cable."

For more information, visit http://carlalewislong.com
Follow on http://twitter.com/surrogacystory
Like on http://facebook.com/abookaboutsurrogacy

Carla Lewis-Long's fertility issues led her to Creative Family Connections, which found a surrogate to carry her baby. Her WHY I'M SO SPECIAL children's books are for all parents who used a surrogate, so that they can share with their young children.

 

7 Ways to Weave Creativity into the Fertility Quest By Guest Blogger Helen Adrienne

I looked up the word fertile in the thesaurus. Synonyms such as lush, bountiful or copious have to do with productivity or multiplication. The verb form of fertile suggests causation as in conceive, spawn or teem. Other descriptive adjectives - life-giving or prolific for instance - describe abundance. Creativity is at the root of this concept is creativity. Growth and expansiveness are presumed into the definition.

Longing to create new life is one kind of creativity. But for now, it’s not happening. Times of trouble like this tighten and stress our bodies and minds. Muscle tension, elevated blood pressure, sleeplessness, or mental confusion are the opposite of expansiveness.

Especially since the fertility challenge is body-centered, I invite you to ponder the value of keeping a creative portal open even as you might want to roll up in a ball and disappear. But until your literal fertility is evident, how else can you remain fertile? Said another way, how can you remain creative?

Nature is all about balance. If you feel pulled toward contraction how can you expand?By trying to make your goal happen with a ferocious determination and single-minded purpose, your body and mind may suffer from lack of balance. Of course, you want to and need to give this quest your all. But perhaps it may not have occurred to you that part of giving your all, is to strive for balance.

“It Sucks to be Me” (Title of a song from the show Avenue Q)

In essence, if you’re employed and dealing with infertility, you have 2 full-time jobs. Even worse, the time it might take to get to resolution can be protracted, sometimes taking years. Can you see your way clear to building some time for creativity into an already overloaded schedule? This time can be refreshing and renewing which might make the time easier to tolerate. More important, spending time in “joy” provides buoyancy and balance – antidotes to the stress of tightness.

What if you used this time to experience creativity of another kind? If for now, your fertility is compromised, and your goal to be “procreative” is thwarted, what other kind of creative activities could productively occupy your time? One couple that I worked with bought a small fixer-upper on a lake which occupied their creative energies until they got their daughter. And now they have a vacation retreat.

You may not be able to afford this kind of creative project, but how about these ideas?

1. Paint a wall in your living room red, orange, turquoise or any happy color. Vow to smile whenever you see it.

2. Make greeting cards for your friends’ birthdays or anniversaries using constr

uction paper, stickers and magic markers. Pull yourself out of a funk by hopping on someone else’s joy. Screw Hallmark.     

3. Cook something you always wanted to try. Rejoice even if it turns out to be inedible.

4. Write a poem. Haiku is only 17 syllables. Stare at a leaf, snowflake, sunset or anything in nature and let your creativity capture its essence. Feel satisfied, if only for a brief while. Put a few brief whiles together and you get a respite from the tightness of contraction.

5. Hang out in a craft shop. Look at the “how to” books. Allow something to catch your fancy. Hook a rug. Knit a shawl. Concentrating on something creative leaves that much less time to focus on the negative.

6. Go to a museum. Enjoy the creativity of others.

7. Take a lesson in anything you always wanted to try: Sailing? Bridge?  

Singing? This need not break the bank. Some adult education classes at the local high school can be had for a song. Even better if you and your partner can do it together. Learn something new even if you think you can’t. Stop saying no to yourself.     

It is common and intuitive to gather energy and dive into a problem when we want something so badly. We become determined to find solutions, sometimes with near-desperation. Body and mind gird for the fight, tightening and pulling inward.

But I’m inviting you to consider the value of what could be thought of as counterintuitive. Needing to harness our energy and resources to deal with what is difficult and challenging need not preclude delving into something new and different. While you’re waiting for your miracle, you can give birth to a more balanced version of yourself. I believe that you will find that it will suck less to be you.

 

Helen Adrienne Licensed Certified Social Worker and certified hypnotherapist, is a general therapist who specializes in infertility counseling, couples counseling for infertility, mind/body stress reduction for infertility and gynecological and reproductive issues

 

Items to Avoid During Pregnancy

The following items are regularly discussed between a patient and her OB to minimize the possibility of a sick pregnancy or an increased risk of miscarriage. Drug use and medications that are not approved by your health professional (for example, NSAID use during conception and early pregnancy, which may increase the risk of miscarriage)

via infertilityanswers.typepad.com

A New Book for the Children of Gestational Surrogates: Surrogacy Helps A Family Grow! by Sharon LaMothe

I am thrilled to announce that my book, Surrogacy Helps Make a Family Grow!, is available on Amazon.com for those living and working in the world of surrogacy. This heartwarming story is written for the children of surrogate mothers who want to explain to them just how and why they are carrying a baby for another family.

I was a surrogate myself when my own kids were ages 3 and 13 and there were no books out there to help me explain this wonderful selfless act to them. Surrogacy Helps Make a Family Grow! is only 30 pages long and filled with colorful illustrations and makes a perfect 'welcome gift' from agencies, clinics and IPs. For women becoming surrogates themselves, this is a great tool to teach their own children about Gestational Surrogacy and how the whole family makes the dream of a baby come true for those in need.



Anyone wanting to buy 20 books or more please e-mail me at SurroMatchFL@aol.com for discount details!

Bye, Bye Privacy (excerpt from On Fertile Ground) By Guest Blogger Helen Adrienne

If you want to get pregnant, you can't stay in the comfort of your
bedroom. Your sex life and your menstrual cycle used to be nobody's business but yours. Why do your private parts need to be under the
glare of fluorescent lights? As Donna, a former patient, said when she was interviewed for this book, "My doctor saw more of my vagina than my husband." A working mom of two, Donna was given bleak odds of conceiving. She beat the odds because, among other things, she was willing to put her legs in stirrups.

You're no longer in the life that you knew and you may not yet have
made the kind of connections which can serve you best in your new
reality. Welcome to "No Man's Land." Your ovaries, uterus and fallopian
tubes have become the focus of scrutiny. This feels dehumanizing
especially because your broken heart is left out of the story. You tell
yourself that the exquisite advances in reproductive medicine are
inspirational. And then you get your period again.

Your doctor tells you to have sex and then come into the office for a
post-coital test. Love-making has now become coitus. The formality of
science is starting to do something detrimental to the spontaneity and
meaning of sex. And brace yourself - here comes the judgment about
whether your vaginal fluids are killing your husband's sperm. How
debilitating!

                        
Dehumanized. Debilitated. When it's suspected that there is a barrier
between you and your fertility, sex can shift away from the heart and be
reduced to an activity, a means to an end. Before you know it, your sex
drive can get driven to some distant planet. Are you too overwrought to
respond to each other the way you used to? This goes with the territory
(more likely if sexual abuse is in your history). Even if sex has been
consistently satisfying, worrying about your prospects for pregnancy
could leave little room for enjoyment. Feelings of desperation can trump
the heart's involvement in your sexual connection to each other.

It's no picnic for men either. Sex on demand ("I'm ovulating, honey! Get
over here!") is a turn-off and turns a choice into a constraint. How
unsexy. It is par for the course if a man's "machinery" shuts down from
time to time. With in vitro fertilization, hubby's ejaculate makes its
way to your uterus by way of an intermediary. I have never known a
man to be excited - pardon the pun - to ejaculate into a cup. One of my
patients spoke with disdain at being called upon to produce a
"specimen" in what he called "the Boom-Boom Room."

Neither you nor your husband signed up for sex to be irrelevant, did
you? This is the world of in vitro fertilization. The pressure that
infertility puts on your sex life needs to be acknowledged. And you
should know that among your peers who are out of the mainstream like
you, it is normal for libido to take a serious nose dive and for erectile
dysfunction to be an understandable symptom of this stress. If you can
accept this, then at least you have one less excuse to fault yourself or

your partner for faltering love-making.

Helen Adrienne, Licensed Certified Social Worker and certified hypnotherapist, is a general therapist who specializes in infertility counseling, couples counseling for infertility, mind/body stress reduction for infertility and gynecological and reproductive issues.

Less than Half of Cancer Patients Informed of Fertility Preservation Options

While cancer treatments have advanced, those treatments can threaten fertility.
Here’s what women should know during Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

Kim Kincaid had just met with her doctor to start planning a family when she received devastating news that same week—the 37-year-old East Bay executive had breast cancer.

While cancer treatments continue to offer better odds at survival, cancer still alters life plans forever. Many women are not aware that cancer treatments such as radiation and chemotherapy may destroy their reproductive potential and leave them infertile.

A study presented by the American Society for Reproductive Medicine found that less than 50 percent of physicians referred their patients to reproductive medicine specialists. Those who were not informed about fertility preservation options prior to cancer treatment commonly have long-term regret and a reduced satisfaction of life when compared to those who were informed.

“Patients are overwhelmed and stressed when they receive their diagnosis, and may not realize that cancer treatment can affect fertility,” says Dr. Louis Weckstein, medical director and reproductive endocrinologist with Reproductive Science Center. “When women recover from breast cancer and learn they are infertile, they are devastated. It is important that women know all of their fertility options when they are diagnosed.”

Fertility preservation options include egg freezing and embryo freezing, also called cryopreservation. Once a patient undergoes egg retrieval, eggs are fast-frozen using a state-of-the-art method called vitrification. After cancer treatment eggs can be thawed, and through intracytoplasmic sperm injection, embryos can be formed. Women may also choose to create embryos immediately after egg retrieval, and then freeze the embryos for later use. This is a better, more successful option if a patient has a partner at the time of treatment. Both options allow women to pursue a biological child in the future.

After learning of her choices, Kincaid pursued embryo cryopreservation. Now free of cancer, Kim and her husband Kevin are looking ahead. Due to Kincaid’s hormone-sensitive cancer, the couple will be using a surrogate for the pregnancy. “We can’t wait to start our family. We are optimistic and hopeful to have a baby on the way by the holidays,” says Kincaid. “I’m so grateful to have found Reproductive Science Center to make all of this possible.”

Reproductive Science Center is a partner of Fertile Hope’s Sharing Hope Program, which provides fertility preservation options for cancer patients whose treatment may impact their future fertility. Through reproductive information, emotional support and financial resources, Sharing Hope strives to protect the reproductive health of cancer patients while informing of future parenting options.
Visit the Reproductive Science Center website for more information on the Sharing Hope Program and fertility preservation options for women.

###

About Reproductive Science Center:
Established in 1983, just two years after the first successful birth through in vitro fertilization (IVF) in the United States, the Reproductive Science Center of the San Francisco Bay Area has been a pioneering fertility medical practice for more than a quarter-century. RSC was also responsible for the nation’s second successful birth of a baby from a frozen embryo and is recognized today for its pregnancy rates and work with egg donors and egg donation for patients from northern California, the Western United States, Asia, India and around the world for patients pursuing medical tourism. Our fertility clinics in San Ramon, Orinda, San Jose and Modesto are easily accessible to fertility patients from Contra Costa County, Alameda County, Santa Clara County, San Francisco County, Stanislaus County, Solano County, Merced County, Mariposa County, Calaveras County, Eldorado County, Placer County, San Benito County and Monterey County. Fertility doctors Dr. Galen, Dr. Weckstein, Dr. Willman, Dr. Hinckley, Dr. Sgarlata, Dr. Wachs and Dr. Ivani are specialists in infertility, recurrent pregnancy loss, polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), endometriosis, miscarriages, male infertility, pre-implantation genetic screening (PGS), egg freezing and reproductive medicine surgery. www.rscbayarea.com

 

Women Turn To Therapy to Cope With Infertility: Therapist Ellen Golding Suggests Five Tips

Ellen Golding, MA, MFT (http://www.ellengolding.com), a Los Angeles based psychologist, uses mind body medicine for clients dealing with infertility issues. Golding gained specialized skills through infertility mind body training at the Harvard School of Mind Body Medicine Infertility Program. The Centers for Disease Control estimates that the number of women in the US with impaired fecundity tops 7.3 million or 11.8 percent. While most people focus on the physical aspects of infertility, the mental health consequences and remedies are just as important. 

“Infertility often makes women feel out of control – they become preoccupied with getting pregnant and that’s all they can think of. It can be incredibly taxing, emotionally and mentally, on a woman’s psyche,” says Golding.  She added that, “Counseling can ease the stress, anxiety and depression that often comes during this very difficult time.” Some therapeutic infertility tips include:

•   STRESS - Struggling with infertility can be extremely stressful. Make sure you have some healthy ways to unwind like exercise, yoga and meditation.  Volunteering can also help by giving to others.
•   DEPRESSION - Depression often goes along with infertility. It can be a very sad time, and women often feel alone even with a husband or partner’s support. It helps to admit that you are depressed and to talk about it with a therapist who specializes in infertility issues.
•   ANXIETY - Especially for women who are in the midst of infertility treatments, it can be a very anxious time waiting to find out if the treatment worked or not. A therapist can help with coping techniques. Teaching the Elicitation of the Relaxation Response, Mind/Body Principles
•   COUNSELING - Talking with a professional or joining groups of women who also want to be moms and suffer from infertility helps.
•   MEDICATION - After consulting with a professional, a woman might decide that the best course of action is psychiatric medication. It is important to note that the most successful treatment involves both medication and weekly therapy. Would be moms need to talk with their primary care physicians, however, before taking any medication that might affect a fetus.

For more information, visit www.ellengolding.com or call 310.908.9372.

Ellen Golding is a licensed marriage and family therapist who has a private practice in West Los Angeles. In her practice, she provides treatment in individual and group settings for adults and adolescents using psychodynamic, ego psychotherapies and cognitive/behavioral therapy. She is also a Behavior Intervention Specialist for the Compton Unified School District, where she specializes in-group and individual therapy for a diverse body of students. In addition, she is a part-time National University core professor and an adjunct professor at Argosy University and Ryokan College.

Shattered Self-Esteem: A Byproduct of Infertility By Guest Blogger Helen Adrienne, LCSW, BCD

The planet would be totally devoid of life, plant and animal, if there were not an imperative to reproduce. Some forms of life reproduce by simply splitting in half. Others rely on the wind. And some forms of reproduction are infinitely more complicated. No matter how, all forms of life reproduce on auto-pilot. Nature has her way. e are abused in any way, the risk of a compromised level of self-esteem magnifies.

How any form of life develops once it is “born” depends upon the confluence of genetic inheritance and environmental conditions. A rose bush will develop more or less bloom depending upon how its own sturdiness is impacted by the soil, the light and available water. Fish will develop grotesquely or will not survive if its native needs are overpowered by an environment polluted by industrial waste. Cats, dogs, horses could find that their natural inclination is at cross- purposes with cruel environments (human or otherwise) that traumatize them and alter their social development.

We are vulnerable to large and small insults which alter our development as well. This cannot be helped. It’s part of the deal of living on planet earth. Who we are born to be often cannot unfold in a pure way because the demands of the environment mandate that we accept strictures that run contrary to what would be simpatico with our basic nature. And given the long dependency of the human animal, we are hardly in position to protest.

Our vulnerability notwithstanding, most of us grow up and manage to function in the world. We run into trouble when the challenges of every day living exceed whatever handicaps we might have developed in an early environment.

Put in a context that is based on current science, it is now proven that apes and humans display imitative behavior that is integral to the development of empathy and connectedness. In the early 1990’s Giacomo Rizzolatti (et al) were able to determine that there are neurons in the brain, now called “mirror neurons,” which are activated in specie-specific relationships. These neurons are critical in the development of language (communication) and emotional awareness (feelings). It is not hard to understand how important it would be in a baby’s development to be “mirrored.” Furthermore, our neurochemistry and the exposure of our brains to hormones insure that we need the connection to others that we use our mirror neurons to experience. Hence, nature sees to it that in theory at least “no man is an island.”

If, when we are youngsters, the zone in the brain where mirroring takes place is appropriately stimulated by way of empathic relatedness, then we can develop into a socially appropriate human. In addition, we can develop into a person who has an accurate sense of ourselves. Say it another way, we develop an adequate level of self-esteem.

Conversely, if we are neglected, or if we are not acknowledged for our unique qualities, (and many other “ifs”), we are at risk for growing up to doubt ourselves and to feel insecure about making the decisions which determine the direction into which our adult life will unfold. And if w

Now enter Infertility. To borrow from a Cole Porter song: “…birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it…” but as for you - too bad. How could your level of self-esteem not be shot full of holes when nature has excluded you from its norm? Meanwhile, being excluded from the reproduction club, psychic blow that it is, is only the beginning.

When the world stops reeling after you are declared infertile, what you are left with is an ongoing need to think clearly and decisively. The inordinate demands of the fertility challenge and the protracted amount of time that could be involved to bring it to resolution not only require clear thinking, but emotional strength and steadiness, access to internal resources, enormous resiliency in order to recover from each month’s potential disappointment, and the capacity to know what you are feeling so as to communicate it effectively to the people upon whom you rely for support, treatment - and in the case of your partner - cooperation. If you have not been appropriately mirrored, you will be less likely to feel qualified to meet the challenge because you would not have learned to value and trust yourself and the opinions that you form.

My many years as a professional working with the infertile population have shown me myriad ways in which self-esteem figures into the depression and anxiety that is so common under these circumstances. And while the psychic blow is bad enough, the failure to have been mirrored appropriately results in the person describing to me, more often than not, self-images that are like reflections in a fun house mirror. The lack of accurate mirroring leaves us floating in a gravityless soup, prone to creating distortions about the self and the circumstances.

The main category of distortions is the oozing of negativity. “I’ll never get pregnant”, This IVF will not work”, “Bad things always happen to me” - sums up the mood that takes up residence in the psyche. Negativity appears, first on line, eager to zoom in and fill the vacuum left by the diagnosis of infertility. The shock of the diagnosis has a force that would suck the stability of the status quo out of a rock. Before you know it, no matter how upbeat you may be by nature, you’re likely to be battling with this uninvited mental resident who is on a mission to be stuck in the groove of a nay-saying broken record.

This is an opportunity for you to separate the wheat from the chafe, so to speak. It would be important to be able to scrutinize negative thoughts and feelings and to reframe and rework them in a way that allows you to keep your sights on the miraculous potential of treatment.

Negative thoughts are demanding, but it is possible to drive a wedge between the process of thinking them and the empowering techniques that can be used to manage them. Negative thoughts are the chafe and can be sent blowing away with the wind. You need to keep the wheat– keep the strength of will and clarity of direction and purpose that can only reign supreme inyour psyche if you understand that: 1)it is possible to remain optimistic and 2)that you may need some guidance, encouragement and education in order to stay the course in a positive direction.

In other words, you may need a person in your life (a friend, a partner or a therapist) who can accurately mirror you and reinforce the positive, optimistic potential of modern medicine and the power of the teamwork between you and your partner.

Negative thoughts reflect negative self-esteem as much as and sometimes more than negative circumstances. When the circumstance of infertility strikes, your own self-image is not likely to be the first thing on your mind. Yet, to look at how you look at yourself can be the most healing and freeing way to invest your energy. Once you are in a medical setting in which you have confidence, the most productive way for you to spend your time, is to look in the mirror and learn to honor and esteem yourself.

©2007 Helen Adrienne, LCSW, BCD 
Psychotherapist, Clinical Hypnotherapist,
Practitioner of Mind/Body Therapy

 

 

Last Acts of Kindness; Lessons for the Living from the Bedsides of the Dying by Judith Redwing Keyssar: A LaMothe Book Review

Reviewing the book Last Acts of Kindness; Lessons for the Living from the Bedsides of the Dying by Judith Redwing Keyssar surprised and inspired me as I read it almost in one sitting…holding a tissue in one hand. Redwing (as she referred to herself throughout the book) is an amazing woman teaching us all about life through her experiences with the dying. I noticed that because of her work with hospice and oncology most of her stories took place either in the hospital, at home, or in a hospice setting. And to truly experience these deaths she spent quite a bit of time with her patients, caring for them, learning about their beliefs and helping family members and friends accept death as a part of life. We all know that we will all die but do we talk about it? No…we avoid the subject at all costs.

She asks the question Death: Medical Event of Spiritual Experience in Part One of Last Acts of Kindness. All of part one is dedicated to those who died in a hospital setting. From ‘Pulling the Plug’ to ‘A Champagne Toast in the ICU’ the reader is touched by what we mortal beings go through as we take those last few breaths.

I especially liked Part Two: Ingredients for Easing Suffering: Wisdom, Humor and Love.  Parts Three and Four are also very valuable to anyone interested in seeking inner peace for themselves or a loved one. I love the fact that there are several pages of resources in the back for those who want to plan for the end of their own life or to assist older parents or patients who are suffering with cancer and other such diseases to prepare for what is surely to come.

Throughout Last Acts of Kindness you will find poetry, quotes and Redwing’s own thoughts and opinions which are very poignant in some cases and in others strait to the point. I am so glad that I read this book now, in my own mid-life. I feel I have a much better understanding of what’s to come not only for myself but for those I love and cherish.

 

Judith Redwing Keyssar, RN, BA,

is the Director of the Palliative and End-of-Life Care Program at Seniors at Home, a division of Jewish Family and Children's Services (JFCS) of the San FranciscoBay Area. Previously, she was the Director of Patient Care Services for Zen Hospice Project (ZHP). Ms. Keyssar also spent  fifteen years working in intensive care, oncology and hospice. She was "called" to be a “midwife to the dying” while she was attending her closest friend, who was dying at age 30 after sustaining severe head trauma from a motorcycle accident.  The story of her initiation into the field of death and dying is presented in the prologue of the book.

Maternity Clothes....What Do You Need?

When the contracts are being drawn up the subject of maternity clothing can sometimes become a hot topic. IP's seem to think that if a woman has already had a baby or two or three she should have all the maternity clothing that she will ever need for her subsequent pregnancies. And IF any money is given toward clothes its usually between $500-$750 dollars. Has anyone PRICED maternity clothing lately?

 

Some women, without thinking ahead, may even decide to waive the maternity clothing allowance without even considering that some of their old things will need to be replaced. Please think about what will be needed as a woman grows throughout her  pregnancy months.

 

    Why past maternity clothes may not work for the current pregnancy:

 

*Out of Season/Style Clothing: You may have clothes that are only suitable for Fall and Winter and you may need clothing for Spring and Summer. Not to mention special occasions like Christmas or a wedding and if you are a professional then work clothes are in order.

Motherhood Maternity Clothes, Maternity Clothing and Maternity Accessories On-Line

Mimi Maternity clothing for the fashion conscious mother-to-be who loves to show her style.

Ann Taylor LOFT : View All Styles

 

*Old under garments: Yes, a delicate subject, but I don't know one woman who has not tossed out her maternity underwear as soon as possible. Naturally those will have to be replaced. Has any one priced a maternity bra lately?? And you need at least 3. What about PJ's? Sometimes your husbands old T-shirt just won't do! (Don't forget the panties as well!)

Motherwear: Breastfeeding and Nursing: Maternity Bras: Ruched Clip Bra from Bella Materna

Motherwear: Breastfeeding and Nursing: Maternity Bras: Wrap N’ Snap ™
Nursing Bra from La Leche League Int’l

 

*Carrying twins or more: If you are pregnant with multiples then you will need to start wearing maternity clothing a lot earlier then usual AND you will grow faster and need much larger sizes then your other pregnancies.  

 

* What about shoes?: Yes, your feet will need attention too...toward the end of a pregnancy, especially with multiples, it is very hard to find something to wear on your feet. Don't be surprised if you have to go out and buy the adjustable Birkinstocks because your ankles have blown up the size of Mrs. Dumbo's!

 HFP Comfort Footwear - Shoes, clogs, sandals by Birkenstock, Finn Comfort, Mephisto, Ecco, Dansko, Think & more...

 

*Under-belly support: Getting bigger then ever? Your back killing you? Then you might consider some belly support. Belly "bras" or a belly belt can really help but they don't come cheap!

BellyBra - we are the manufacturer of this original woman's pregnancy support garment

Buy Prenatal Cradle Pregnancy Support Harness, Medium/Large Online at drugstore.com

Maternity Support Girdle Panty with Belt

 

    Often we forget, perhaps on purpose, that we maybe wearing some of these maternity clothes WELL AFTER the birth, while our bodies are making the brave attempt to get back to "normal". So when thinking about offering a maternity clothing allowance (IP's) or asking for a clothing stipend (surrogates) please keep the above clothing list in mind. Nine months is a long time to be wearing a MuuMuu.  Old Pueblo Traders : intimate : loungewear

 

Sharon

www.InfertilityAnswers.net

Diving Under the Turbulence of Infertility By Guest Blogger Helen Adrienne, LCSW, BCD

Anyone who has ever frolicked in the ocean learns to avoid getting knocked over by the waves.  When a breaker is rolling toward you with its powerful churning energy, diving under it keeps you safe.

The imagery of the surf, with its potency and relentless momentum, is a fit metaphor for infertility.  Infertility has the power to knock over Godzilla.  In my 30-plus years of experience as a psychotherapist, I’ve seen infertility rob strength from the most stress-hardy.  But, I’ve also been privy to the resilience that carries to parenthood those who, like yourself, have suffered under the strain.

Where does resiliency come from?  The frenzy of infertility drains energy.  But many apply mental muscle to fight the good fight, which under the circumstances can feel like a car in overdrive with the emergency brake yanked up.  While applying mental muscle as a coping mechanism to push through the challenge can be effective, diving under the turbulence renews energy and builds resilience.  Diving under the turbulence can be learned and earned.  When under the turbulence, you let go of the infertility’s traumas and create a respite into which resiliency can flow.

The October, 2009 issue of Fertility and Sterility published a report of a study in which

“problem-focused coping” was contrasted with “letting-go coping.”  Problem-focused coping is about doing something different to alter the circumstances, whereas letting-go coping is about being in a different mindset by altering your emotional response to a situation that is out of your control.  While doing is not to be disparaged and has its place in the infertility struggle, it’s clear that infertility leaves everyone feeling out of control no matter what you seem to do.  Giving yourself a respite from the stress is what you can be in control of.  Letting go builds resilience for the next leg of the journey.  And, by the way, letting-go coping is “significantly associated” with pregnancy in the Fertility and Sterility report.*

If infertility is anything it is a total mind/body experience.  Mind and body cannot be pried apart.  The anguish of infertility goes beyond the mental experience of it.  As the mind tries to wrestle with the mental shock and the physical demands of trying to conceive, the mind/body expresses the stress in the form of physical, emotional, behavioral, cognitive, relational and spiritual symptoms.

So with mind and body in a frenzied state, how can one let go and dive under the turbulence?  Infertility patients worry that the past is a predictor of the future.  Little time is spent in the present moment, the only moment any of us have.  The present moment is also the place from which the opportunity to dive under the turbulence resides and where the chance to return the mind/body to a state of neutrality and receptivity to a pregnancy is highest.  There are lots of ways to dive under the turbulence: meditation, hypnosis, self-hypnosis and guided imagery are some of the better known among the letting-go techniques.  For purposes of this article, the Relaxation Response™ can be easily learned and earned.

The Relaxation Response™ ** utilizes the power of the breath as a built-in tranquilizer to calm the autonomic nervous system.  This means that if you breathe easily and rhythmically, as if all is right with the world even if you do not feel that it is, the brain stem responds by lowering blood pressure, heart rate and muscle tension and breaks the grip of other symptoms as well.  If simultaneously you say a word with a positive association such as “love” or “peace” to yourself every time you exhale, you can “let go” of the panic or depression which keeps the stress physiology of infertility at a feverish pitch.  This also keeps you in the present moment.

A variation of the Relaxation Response involves saying half of a phrase (such as “I am / at peace”) or prayer (“the Lord / is my shepherd,” for example) to yourself on the inhalation and the other half on the exhalation.  By repeating a word, phrase or prayer in your mind for 10 to 20 minutes, in co-ordination with your breathing, you dive under the turbulence.  You need to know that when you lose your place, let it go and start again.  Take a few moments and try it!

Staying focused on the breath and simultaneously on a positive thought breaks the spasm of stress and allows you “catch a breather” and build resilience.  The frenzy of infertility only intensifies if we can’t let go; conversely we find serenity if we can.  If the Relaxation Response becomes part of your daily routine, you will be pleasantly surprised at your power to manage stress.

Picture the experience of seeking cover under the churning surf.  Imagine what it would feel like?  Whether we dive under the churning surf or under the frenzy of infertility, the mind and the body can let go of fear.  We can enjoy relief.  And we can feel the power of resiliency to fortify us for the infertility endurance test.

 

 

*Nathalie Rappoport-Hubschman, M.D., Yori Gidron, Ph.D., Rivka Reicher-Atir, Ph.D., Onit Sapir, Ph.D., and Benjamin Fisch, M.D.  “Letting go” coping is associated with successful IVF treatment outcome, Fertility and Sterility, October, 2009, Volume 92, No. 4, pp.1384 – 1388.

** The Relaxation Response was pioneered over 30 years ago by Dr. Herbert Benson, founder of the mind/body medical institute at Harvard and author of the book by the same name.  Its efficacy has been field tested. When practiced regularly, the body reclaims a state of equilibrium that we lose when stress sends us flying into a state of physiological agitation.

Helen Adrienne, LCSW, BCD, has been a psychotherapist in private practice in New York City since 1979. Although she is a general practitioner for women, men and couples, she has specialized in working with infertility patients. Helen is trained in mind/body therapy and clinical hypnosis. She conducts mind/body stress reduction classes at NYU Fertility Center and educates mental health professionals on the parameters of infertility at national conferences. She is the author of On Fertile Ground: Healing Infertility, a book written for infertility patients and those who want to understand them and also provides support and advice on The Baby Manifest-O Blog created especially for those navigating the challenges of infertility and is a contributing blogger at Psychology Today.

Nobody's Child by Austin Boyd: A LaMothe Book Review

 

Nobody's Child by Austin Boyd was sent to me, along with 2 other copies to share, from Zondervan, for review.

 

 
First their Synopsis: 
For Laura Ann McGehee, her body represents the one remaining financial resource that can save the family farm. For Sophia McQuistion, Laura Ann’s unusual sacrifice fulfills her own dream of having a child. Weaving together bioethics and faith in a heart-rending tale of love lost and loves found, Nobody’s Child dramatizes the ethical question we can no longer ignore in medicine: Just because we can do something … should we? 

About Austin Boyd: He is the award-winning author of the thrilling space suspense trio, The Evidence, The Proof and The Return. An inventor, business entrepreneur, spacecraft engineer, and Navy pilot, he weaves real science with true-to-life characters in descriptive page-turning suspense. Austin and his wife, Cindy are the parents of four adult children and live  in Huntsville, Alabama where he manages an engineering and design company, and serves the community through Crisis Pregnancy ministries.

 
My take on Nobody's Child:  The book itself was well written and the pages filled with details of farm life in West Virginia along with characters who were believable and endearing. What I think is the crying shame about Nobody's Child is the obvious ignorance regarding egg donation. I probably shouldn't have been surprised as Eggsploitation is one of the references recommended in the back of the book. The segments shared regarding Laura Ann's egg donation and the outcome are particularly hard to swallow because every fear that a donor may have came true in this book. Realizing Nobody's Child is meant to be a dramatization I still felt I was constantly thinking 'what's next'? whenever something went wrong in poor Laura Ann's life. (Most of which stemmed from her egg donation).

 
Twenty years old and very much ashamed of "selling her eggs" to save the family farm and help with medical bills, Laura Ann has everything go wrong from floods and fires to a recipient of one of her egg donations showing up pregnant on her door step. What else could go wrong? How about premature labor, a will that leaves the baby to Laura and finding out that a nurse from the now debunked clinic also has a daughter from Laura Ann's donation! Nope, that is not a spoiler!

 

 I recommend reading Nobody's Child for entertainment only. There is a lot of misinformation regarding egg donation and the whys and hows of the process. Leering doctors and exaggerated side effects aside, Nobody's Child does have a message of where there's a will there's a way. Everything that was thrown at Laura Ann had a solution that worked for her mainly due to the supporting characters and her own deep seeded strength.

Review of Two Kellogg's FiberPlus Cereals: A LaMothe Product Review

When trying to conceive or just trying to eat a more balanced diet, we all become aware of how important healthy eating habits are. We are told to eat more fiber, add more antioxidants and find a way to enjoy doing just that. Well, I was asked to review 2 of Kellogg's FiberPlus cereals: Kellogg's FiberPlus^® Berry Yogurt Crunch and Kellogg's FiberPlus^® Cinnamon Oat Crunch. I received two full boxes and shared them with my husband and my 15 year old daughter. (and you know how picky 15 year olds can be!) Needless to say these two boxes didn't last long in our household. Both cereals tasted great and lived up to the wonderful Kellogg's reputation for producing healthy and tasty products. I felt like I was providing my family nutritious choices for their morning meal.  My daughter loved the Cinnamon Oat Crunch the best where my husband and I agreed that the Berry Yogurt Crunch was our favorite.  I would highly recommend that you give all of the FiberPlus cereals a try!

Four Different Ways Women Can Give the Gift of Life

I wnted to re-post this because there still is controversial news regarding embryo and sperm donations (not to mention egg donation) I think it's important to focus on other ways women can give the gift of life...(although egg donation is mentioned in this article) I have never been an egg donor, becoming involved in ART in my mid 30's, however, I am on the International Bone Marrow Donor list, give blood regularly, had cord blood saved and, of course, been a Gestational Carrier twice. ( I wouldn't consider the 7 Pounds route that Will Smith took in that role!) Needless to say, these stories are based in the UK but the US offers the same opportunities. Just ask your Dr. for guidance.

  

Sharon 

Four women on why they became donors 

Exclusive: By Alison Palmer 21/07/2009

These women all gave a body part to improve someone else’s life. Here they explain why they were so selfless

Every drop counts

Danielle Holmes, 32 lives with husband Richard in Muckamore, Belfast, with their children Kaya, three, and five-week-old Cayden. Danielle is a manager of a logistics company and Richard is a head chef.

“As my darling son, Riley, born 14 weeks early, lay in an incubator, hooked up to endless wires and tubes I felt so helpless. All I could do was feed his tiny 1lb 11oz body with my expressed breast milk.

Despite bleeds on the brain, collapsed lungs and other complications, he limped on. But four weeks in, with all the stress and heartache, my milk dried up. I was devastated. Doctors said formula milk would be too heavy, but there was a milk bank, breast milk donated by other mothers we could use.

Before I had Riley, I was repulsed by the thought but when you are in the situation we were in, knowing the best thing your very poorly child can have is breast milk, you’re eternally grateful for another mum’s donation. I believe the donated milk gave me another five weeks with Riley before he died after surgery for a bowel infection.

So two years later, when I gave birth to Kaya, I was determined to give something back. I contacted the milk bank at Fermanagh and they sent me special bottles and an insulated box and I began expressing.

Each day, as well as expressing for Kaya, I managed 120ml for the bank which I’d freeze. It doesn’t sound much but the tiniest babies only need a couple of millilitres, so every bit counts. I donated for seven months and hope to again now Cayden is five weeks old.

I mentioned having my long hair cut off on www.baby-greenhouse.co.uk and someone suggested I give it to a charity that makes wigs for children with cancer. It’s amazing you can do something so small, so insignificant to you that can make such a massive difference to another person’s life.”

/ For details of milk banks, visit www.ukamb.org or call 0208 383 3559. To donate hair, see www.littleprincesses.org.uk or www.locksoflove.org

How could I deny someone a life?

 

Leanne Flanagan, 22, of Cardiffis single with no children and works in a supermarket.

“I opened the letter and started to read. It said: ‘To my dear donor. Thank you for giving me the gift of life. My family and I cannot thank you enough. You will never know what you’ve done for me.’

Tears rolled down my cheeks.

When I signed up to be a bone marrow donor, I gave a blood sample and filled in some paperwork but I never thought I’d be a match.

Then, on my birthday the following year, in November 2007, I received a letter saying I was a potential match. I had some blood taken, then a fortnight later I got a letter to say I was a perfect match.

My family weren’t very happy because they were worried about health implications. But for me it was clear. There was someone out there, probably with leukaemia that would ultimately kill them, who knew there was a donor who could save them.

How could I deny them a chance of life?

I opted to give bone marrow through ‘peripheral blood stem cell donation’. It was simple.

For three days a nurse injected me with a special substance to boost my stem cells. Then on the fourth day the Anthony Nolan Trust paid for us to go to Londonwhere I spent five hours hooked up to a machine at University College Hospital.

I had a needle in each arm; one took blood out into a machine that collected the cells, the other put the ‘empty’ blood back in. I felt tired but nothing more.

I knew the whole process was anonymous so, when I received the letter via the trust I was bowled over.

I’ll never know the recipient but just to know there’s someone out there, still hopefully living a happy, healthy life because of me is just wonderful.”

To join the register or to find out more about the process see www.anthonynolan.org.uk or call 0207 284 1234.

It was very humbling

 

Cathy Sidaway, 29, a business development manager, lives in York. She’s single and has no children.

“I was leafing through a paper a couple of years ago when I saw an advert from an anonymous couple who needed an egg donor. I thought I could be that person. It all came at a very poignant time. My friend had suffered multiple miscarriages and a relative has endometriosis and was struggling to get pregnant.

I spent some time on the National Gamete Donation Trust’s (NGDT) forum for those considering donation and called the number.

I had extensive counselling. It threw up all sorts of emotions. I was asked how I’d feel telling my own future children that somewhere they may have a half-sibling. I hope they and any future partner would understand. I also had to go through various medical tests.

It was almost a year by the time, last February, I finally donated via Guy’s Hospital, London. I had to go through a similar process to IVF to create as many eggs as possible.

They collected 14 eggs. It was a little uncomfortable but not awful. Sadly the recipient hasn’t got pregnant yet but I’m hopeful it will work out for her soon.

I donated once more and I’m just about to donate again. I met the woman online and was only going to tell her about the process, but we got on so well I offered to be her donor.

I thought I’d donate four times, but we’ll see. All I know is I can give a woman a shot at motherhood. That’s a very humbling experience.”

For more information see www.ngdt.co.uk or call the helpline on 0845 226 9193.

I knew it could save a life

Rebecca Khan, 29, lives in Borehamwood, Hertfordshire, with husband, Kyle, 32, and children, Elena, 23 months and Leah, seven weeks. She works for the NHS – and in recruitment.

“I knew blood in the umbilical cord was live-saving through my work with the blood and transfusion service. I also know it’s hard to find matches for the ethnic community. So, being half-Greek with a half-Jamaican husband, I was desperate to donate. Sadly not all hospitals have a cord blood donation team but mine, Barnet General, does. It wasn’t long before I had a call from the donation team who took me through all the details and helped me fill in a consent form that I kept in my pregnancy notes.

I was devastated when, after Elena’s birth, they hadn’t been able to retrieve a full sample. There wasn’t enough blood in the cord.

So I made sure all the paperwork was in order again when I gave birth to Leah and hoped that this time they’d be successful. They were.

I had an elective caesarean so I didn’t even see when they took the cord away. But it doesn’t matter how you give birth, you can still donate.

Once they cut the cord and establish mum and baby are OK the cord blood team take the placenta and cord. The cells in cord blood can be sent all over the world to help cure patients of life-threatening diseases such as blood cancers and immune disorders.

It’s wonderful that something so useless to you could save a life.”

/For more info about hospitals with a cord blood team or to register to be a donor visit http://cord.blood.co.uk or call 0800 783 5870 or 020 8437 1740.

August is National Breastfeeding Month

August is National Breastfeeding Month, which is fitting because breastfeeding is once again spiking in popularity among new moms as the preferred method of feeding their newborn babies.  Breastfeeding is a personal choice that all mothers make and this trend is very healthy because breastfeeding provides so many benefits to both the mother and her baby.  Chicago Healers Practitioner Dr. Marilyn Mitchell, MD, provides some of the benefits of breastfeeding.

• Nutrients and Enzymes- Babies who are breastfed take in nutrients and enzymes that are perfectly proportioned for a human infant.  Bottled milk often comes from cows or soy and lacks the perfect blend of nutrients and enzymes that human milk provides.
• Supplemented Immune System- Breast milk also transmits antibodies from the mother to the infant, which are especially vital during the first few months of life when the infant’s immune system is immature and lacks the ability to produce its own antibodies.
• Healthier Life- Infants who breastfeed generally have fewer illnesses during the breastfeeding period than those who are bottle-fed and develop fewer allergies in their lifetime.  Breastfed babies also tend to have less colic, fewer restless episodes, and better sleep patterns than bottle-fed infants.
• Helps Mom, Too- Breastfeeding increases metabolism, which helps with post-partum weight loss.  It also helps with mother-child bonding due to the mutually pleasurable experience.

It is also smart for new moms to be aware of what they consume while breastfeeding, as it can affect their child.  Here is a list of things to up intake of and things to avoid:

Do eat:

• Fresh fruits and vegetables (organic when possible)
• Protein sources (also organic when possible)
• 8-12 glasses of water, juice, herbal teas
• Calcium rich foods (dairy, greens, legumes)

         Avoid:

• Alcohol
• Caffeinated beverages and all soda pop
• Foods that bother the infant (spices for some)
• Preservatives

Creating a Virtual Campfire to Cope with Infertility by Guest Blogger Helen Adrienne L.C.S.W.

In this day and age campfires are something that are associated with some kind of literal camping experience.  Many of you may never have experienced one firsthand.  Our phylogenetic ancestors understood on an intuitive level that at the end of the day, sitting around the campfire, singing, dancing, drumming or telling stories reversed the physiology of stress.  Indigenous societies still engage in this practice.  The therapeutic effects of a campfire as a de-stressor has been lost for us.  

As you well know, infertility is itself a stressor of major proportions that rides on top of the stresses of daily living.  How can we create a virtual campfire thereby reclaiming its   restorative benefits?  A virtual campfire can be anything that totally absorbs our attention, making it difficult for negative thoughts to intrude.  Creative endeavors such as baking, making curtains or painting a room a bright color serve this purpose particularly well.  As long as the activity has a strong enough lure, it can disable the tendency of the mind and body to intensify frenzy and upset which disrupt feelings of well-being.  

When you’re in a funk, if you “do” something engaging and distracting you will reap the benefit and feel relieved, if only for a short while.  But generally, those in a fertility quest are in no mood to take find the discipline to take care of themselves in this way.  This is understandably, as the demands of life and medical treatment take up all the discipline you can seem to muster.  Yet discipline is the key word.  When you least feel like it, if you behave counter intuitively, you can disengage from the siren song of negative expectations.  

There are times when it is necessary to dive under the turbulence all together—a time when “doing” doesn’t work.  If it feels impossible to settle on something engaging enough to hold your focus—letting yourself just “be” distracts from the demands of infertility.  It might feel even harder to accomplish this disengagement, yet as an option it has even more power to achieve a reversal of the relentless stress of infertility. 

How is it possible to let go of the worry that accompanies the infertility journey and just “be” by creating a virtual campfire?  Here is just one way—a way that is less demanding of the discipline it takes to develop meditative skills.  In fact it is incredibly simple:  

Light a candle.  Stare at the flame.  Bring just enough conscious awareness to this experiment to facilitate breathing easily and freely.  Now simply notice the candle.  Let yourself be curious about the way that the flame dances.  Is the window opened or closed?  What is the flame responding to if there is no obvious draft?  Why does it become so still and at other times seem to dance with joy?  When the flame is still, can you mimic that stillness within yourself?  When it dances, can you allow yourself an inner effervescence?  And if there is a draft, what can you learn about the way the flame moves in response to air currents?  Let the candle be a metaphor that transports you in a mindless way to the recuperative powers of serenity.  You stand to learn that you can let go and—and you can feel better.  Therein lies your power.

 

Helen Adrienne, L.C.S.W., has been a psychotherapist in private practice since 1979. Although a general therapist, she has specialized in working with ob-gyn referrals, particularly the women, men and couples who struggle with infertility. Helen is trained in mind/body therapy and clinical hypnotherapy and conducts mind/body stress reduction classes for women at the NYU Fertility Center. Helen is a charter member of NY City Resolve™ and has presented at many of their conferences. She also educates mental health professionals on the parameters of infertility at national and international conferences. She has authored many articles on infertility, which can be found on the "Baby Manifest-O" blog on her website, www.mind-body-unity.com. Her book On Fertile Ground: Healing Infertility is a valuable resource for infertility patients and those who want to understand them.

When Infertility Becomes a “Guy Thing”

How Men Can Combat Declining Fertility Trends

When infertility strikes, it can be a massive source of stress for couples, and many are too quick to assume it’s a female issue.

Alarmingly, the average sperm count for adult males has decreased by 50 percent since 1938 and is currently declining at a rate of 2 percent each year, according to a study in the British Medical Journal. Stress, exposure to environmental toxins and diets deficient in key vitamins and minerals are likely to blame.

“It’s a fact that one in six couples will have difficulty conceiving, but many aren’t aware that almost half the time, it’s the male who is the cause of the problem,” said fertility expert, Dr. Amos Grunebaum. “When couples address this issue, it’s been my experience that the woman is the first to see a specialist to determine her fertility status. It’s a little more difficult to get the man on board with doing the same thing. Some men just don’t want to acknowledge that they may have a fertility problem. As such, they are more reluctant to get tested and I have seen a lot of men delay seeing a specialist or even avoid it completely.”

Unfortunately, Dr. Grunebaum can confirm these disturbing statistics as he has seen sperm counts decline in his 25+ years of practice.  

“From my experience, low sperm count is one of the primary reasons that couples have a difficult time conceiving,” said Dr. Grunebaum, also a medical health advisor for Fairhaven Health (www.fairhavenhealth.com). “Quite simply, the fewer sperm a man produces, the lower the likelihood that one will successfully fertilize the egg.”

However, according to Dr. Grunebaum, there are a variety of ways men can help improve their reproductive health.  

“A diet rich in antioxidants such as Vitamins C, E and Zinc can go a long way in improving sperm health. Exercising regularly plus limiting caffeine, alcohol, and tobacco intake can also help a great deal,” he added.

While low sperm count is known to be a major cause of infertility, for many men, visiting a doctor or clinic to have a sperm analysis done can be a daunting task.

“The testing process itself can be a little embarrassing and even more so when faced with the prospect of exposing their condition to the doctor, nurse or office staff,” he added.

Fortunately, there is now a way to test for low sperm count in the privacy of one’s own home. A new product from Fairhaven Health, the SpermCheck Fertility Test, accurately confirms if a man has a normal count (20 million per milliliter). The test can be completed in a matter of minutes and retails for around $35. Should the SpermCheck at-home test confirm a low count, it’s generally a good indicator that he should see a specialist to help further diagnose the problem.

“There are many benefits from determining early on if sperm count is a problem for you,” Dr. Grunebaum said. “The sooner an issue is pinpointed, the sooner proper treatment can be started. Treatments for male infertility typically include lifestyle changes, vitamin, mineral or herbal supplementation, prescription medication, or even surgical procedures. But before any of that can begin, the couple has to be able to communicate and agree to take action.” 

About Dr. Amos Grunebaum

Dr. Grunebaum is a New York based physician who is double-board certified in obstetrics/gynecology and maternal-fetal medicine (high-risk pregnancy). He is recognized as one of New York's foremost Ob/Gyns as evidenced by his regular inclusion in Castle Connolly's "Top Doctors: New York." Dr. Grunebaum has helped formulate a number of products for Fairhaven Health, a leading manufacturer of products to help couples conceive.

Yes, It Is STILL Illegal to Pay a Surrogate in WA STATE!

I know that many have been misinformed regarding WA state and the new laws. Commercial or Paid surrogacy is STILL not legal in WA state. I testified on the bill this year and last year. What happened is that the senate took everything surrogacy out of the HB 1267 bill and kept in the domestic partner portion in it and that is what passed. Here is a link of the summery to that final HB 1267 bill that will become effective July 22. Lets hope that next year offers a better solution for those needing surrogates here in the great North West!

What do you mean I can't get a new tattoo?!

 

 
Q~~What do you mean I can't get a new tattoo?!

 

 A~~   I thought I would write a FYI here because there are some potential Egg Donors and Surrogates out there that are not aware that you can not donate your eggs or become a surrogate if you have had a tattoo or body piercing within the past 6 months to a year. (In most cases it's 6 months for the piercing's and a year for the tattoo unless you have written proof that the needles used were disposable and in that case, you would be free and clear to donate or volunteer to carry.) This requirement is a safeguard against the risk of infectious diseases. Obviously any tattoos you have that are over a year old are fine!  

 

This was the easiest Q & A ever!

Sharon

www.InfertilityAnswers.net 

The Surrogacy Relationship: Staying in contact.....or not

After interviewing hundreds of potential surrogates and talking with the same amount of Intended Parents over the years, the subject always comes up regarding contact after the birth. This conversation takes place far before any match is made and has shown me over and over the optimism of all parties involved. 'No matter who I am matched with, we will be having a baby and I would like to know what will our relationship look like after the birth?' Expectations. Optimism. Positive thinking. Call it what you will but its a subject that needs to be discussed. It needs to be discussed and UNDERSTOOD that no matter what each party maybe feeling NOW, emotions, relationships, situations will change. (Not may change, WILL CHANGE.)

 

     I think that some Intended Parents are more than willing to consider a relationship with their surrogate and try to actually build that into their vision of what a future will look like for their child/children. Some IP's, flat out, state that they can't get beyond the thought of a once a year photo and a small percentage are seemingly firm on their views on future relationship...no contact at all. Period.

 

     A large percentage of women who envision themselves becoming a surrogate for a lucky couple want some contact after the birth of the baby. They understand that this isn't their biological child. They are cognizant of the fact that legally they have no rights, however, they may see themselves receiving photos and visiting with the family a couple of times a year...maybe e-mails or cards when the big milestones happen; first tooth, first step, first day of school. Why is this? I don't believe that it has as much to do with the baby but with the Intended Parents themselves. Surrogate's want to believe that they will mean more to their couple then "being just a carrier". That they will become life long friends with a common goal. That the couple will appreciate her forever and want to share the same joys that she has experienced with her own children. And, honestly, throughout the surrogacy journey most relationships move from the parties being complete strangers to constant companions. It's hard to make that jump, after the birth, and return to "normal" life for the surrogate mother and the IP's taking care of a newborn. In an instant, their relationship has changed.

 

     When the decision to work together within the realm of surrogacy was reached, the conversation regarding contact after the birth should have taken place. And no matter what the agreed consensus was at that time, hopefully as the pregnancy progressed, the topic was discussed again. It's ok if the thought process changed and feelings are now decidedly different between the start of this relationship and the birth but it is important that no one is lead to believe something that will/will not be happening...whether that means there will be no contact at all on the surrogates part, or there will be no photos coming from the IP's or that an unexpected friendship bloomed and everyone wants to have lots of contact as apposed to very little.  Whatever the situation its best to remember that communication is key and the understanding of each other's emotional investment is essential!

 

Sharon

www.InfertilityAnswers.net 

Yes, There Are Emotional Changes During Pregnancy

Pregnancy takes your mind and body through an ongoing stream of changes. On a basic level, your body is making unusual amounts of hormones. At certain times, this can cause you to feel exhausted, forgetful, or moody. On top of that, you will be preoccupied with how your body is quickly changing, worrying about how to manage symptoms, worrying about the pregnancy going well, finances, and keeping up with everyday life.

It is common to go through many of the following changes in a pregnancy:

First trimester: Extreme fatigue or morning sickness can color your daily life. Moodiness (as with premenstrual syndrome) is normal. Happiness and anxiety about the new pregnancy are also common.

Second trimester: Fatigue, morning sickness, and moodiness usually improve or go away. You may feel more forgetful and disorganized than before. Feeling heavier than normal, then looking visibly pregnant and feeling the baby move can make you feel any number of emotions.

Third trimester: Forgetfulness may continue. As your due date nears, it is common to feel more anxious about the childbirth. As you feel more tired and uncomfortable, you may find yourself being more irritable.

For some women, serious anxiety or depression problems improve during pregnancy. For others, they do not. If you suffer from insomnia, sadness, tearfulness, anxiety, hopelessness, feelings of worthlessness and guilt, irritability, appetite change, or poor concentration, talk to your health professional. Without treatment, mental health problems will get in the way of a healthy pregnancy.

Items to Avoid During Pregnancy

The following items are regularly discussed between a patient and her OB to minimize the possibility of a sick pregnancy or an increased risk of miscarriage.

Drug use and medications that are not approved by your health professional (for example, NSAID use during conception and early pregnancy, which may increase the risk of miscarriage)

Papaya, which when unripe can cause the muscles of the uterus to contract leaded to a miscarriage.

Alcohol

Tobacco smoke

Hot tubs and saunas

Toxoplasmosis or E.Coli infection, which may come from raw meat, poultry, or seafood; unwashed fruits or vegetables; and cat feces.

Mercury toxicity, which is known to come from shark, swordfish, king mackerel, tilefish, more than 6 oz of white albacore tuna per week, or fish which haven't tested as safe.

Pesticides, household cleaners, and paint will leach out fumes which can be harmful to a developing fetus, especially in the first trimester. While pregnant, use chemical-free cleaning alternatives. If you must use chemical cleaners, wear gloves, ventilate the area, and avoid inhaling fumes.

Lead exposure typically through paints found in homes older than 1960 or toys which have originated from certain Chinese toy manufacturers.

Nail polish contains a number of hazardous chemicals linked to an increased risk of early pregnancy loss.

Hair permanents and Bleaches are generally discouraged during the first trimester.  While there is no known connection to fetal harm it is best to be cautious.

Radiation exposure: X-rays, air travel, and electrical appliances.  It is a good idea to avoid unnecessary X-rays.  However, be sure to tell the technician that you are pregnant even when it is only dental x-rays.  When necessary, they can be performed with a lead apron that shields your abdomen.

If you travel by plane frequently it is possible to exceed the cosmic radiation limit considered safe during pregnancy (1 millisievert, or mSv). Although the occasional flight doesn't pose a risk, frequent low-altitude domestic flights or several high-altitude international flights may increase a fetus's risk of developing cancer during childhood. You can track your exposure using software from the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA), available online at http://jag.cami.jccbi.gov/cariprofile.asp.

Insurance Issues to Address Prior to a Surrogacy Agreement

Prospective Intended Parents and Carriers need to be aware that they are embarking upon an investment of time, money and risk when they enter into a surrogacy arrangement together.  If you are a Carrier, you are taking time out of you and your family's life and investing that time toward your intended parent's dream of having a child.  If you are an Intended Parent, you are asking someone to assume a certain amount of risk to help achieve your dream of having a child.  Clearly, there are no guarantees offered by the Infertility Clinics.  That being the case, prior to entering into this arrangement you should be aware that some risks can be minimized.  Insurance or insurances are the best ways to offset some of the risk inherent to your relationship together.

The time to check these issues is now, not after you enter the Surrogacy contract. The reimbursements that will be paid to a carrier will depend upon whether or not you have insurance coverage.  Your contract will need to address this issue, and make an appropriate accommodation. Pregnancy and birth are expensive.  Health insurance can go a long way toward minimizing the financial risk.  Depending on your state of residence, the costs will vary according to age, health and deductibles. Get the lowest deductible you can afford.

Insurance companies are in the business of making money and will go out of their way to not pay benefits.  As an educated consumer, you must be sure that you have obstetrics coverage.  Next be sure that you have been covered long enough that your pregnancy will not be deemed a preexisting condition for which benefits can be declined.  Finally, check the "exclusions" section of the policy to be sure that a surrogacy arrangement does not take you out of coverage.  If you are married and the health insurance is through your spouse's employer, check that policy.  Occasionally when obstetrics is not part of the normal benefit package you can add it for an additional fee.

Another consideration of risk is your carrier's life.  Why?  Because there is a risk of death with any pregnancy and there needs to be a fund of money available to her family should she not be there for them.  The recommended  minimum of $250,000 of life insurance for a carrier is something to consider. This amount can be adjusted according to the carrier's profession, number of children she has and most importantly, what makes her family comfortable with the extra risk she is undertaking.  From a legal perspective, having life insurance in effect through pregnancy helps provide financial insulation from a lawsuit should there be a birth related death.

A final consideration is insuring your carrier's ability to work.   When a carrier is a stay-at-home parent, her duties have a certain value to her family.  When a carrier has a job outside of the home, she  helps provide another income stream and raises her family's lifestyle. 

If a carrier becomes disabled due to surrogacy, the losses need to be replaced.  One way to view the value of the loss is to determine the out of pocket cost to replace her contribution to the household.  What is the cost of hiring a housekeeper, a cook or additional daycare while the carrier is on forced bedrest?  Most Surrogacy Contracts address this issue with an out of pocket payment.  Another alternative may be a short or long term disability insurance policy.  Both may be considered to provide seamless coverage till the end of the contract, but certainly a long term disability would have the worst effect upon the carrier's financial well being.

Of course, by now you are wondering how much does this all cost? Costs will vary according to the carrier's age, health, height/weight ratio and lifestyle (smoker/non smoker) as well as the value placed upon the risk.  The best time to get an idea of the cost and of any problems with underwriting is during the matching process so that the cost can be allocated within the Surrogacy Agreement. 

Could You Have Asherman Syndrome?

Asherman syndrome is the formation of intrauterine adhesions, which typically result from scars that develop after uterine surgery.

Asherman syndrome is a rare condition. In most cases, it occurs in women who have had several dilatation and curettage (D&C) procedures.

A severe pelvic infection unrelated to surgery may also lead to Asherman syndrome.

Intrauterine adhesions can also form after infection with tuberculosis or schistosomiasis. These infections are rare in the United States, and uterine complications such as Asherman syndrome related to these infections are even less common.

The adhesions may cause amenorrhea (lack of menstrual periods), repeated miscarriages, and infertility.

However, such symptoms could be related to several conditions. They are more likely to indicate Asherman syndrome if they occur suddenly after a D&C or other uterine surgery.

A pelvic exam is usually normal.

Tests may include:

• Blood tests to detect tuberculosis or schistosomiasis
• Hysteroscopy
• Infertility evaluation
• Transvaginal ultrasound examination

Treatment involves surgery to cut and remove the adhesions or scar tissue. This can usually be done with hysteroscopy, which uses small instruments and a camera placed into the uterus through the cervix.

After scar tissue is removed, the uterine cavity must be kept open while it heals to prevent adhesions from returning. Your health care provider may place a small balloon inside the uterus for several days and prescribe estrogen replacement therapy while the uterine lining heals.

Antibiotic treatment may be necessary if there is an infection.

Asherman syndrome can be cured in most women with surgery, although sometimes more than one procedure will be necessary.

Women who are infertile because of Asherman syndrome may have a successful pregnancy after treatment. Successful pregnancy depends on the severity of Asherman syndrome and the difficulty of the treatment, as well as other factors that affect fertility and pregnancy.

This information is located on MedlinePlus

I Will Be A Wonderful Mother - Author Unknown

I found this out there in cyber space and it touched my heart...I hope it will touch yours....

I Will Be A Wonderful Mother - Author Unknown

There are women who become mothers without effort,
without thought,
without patience or loss,
and though they are good mothers and love their children,
I know that I will be better.

I will be better not because of genetics or money or because I have read more books,
but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.

I have longed and waited.

I have cried and prayed.

I have endured and planned over and over again.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.

I will notice everything about my child.

I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore, and discover.

I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold, and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream.

My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child.

Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.

I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend, and sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment, as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell that many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.

I have prevailed.

I have succeeded.

I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort.

I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.

I listen.

And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely.

I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth when life is beyond hard.

I have learned a compassion that only comes by walking in those shoes.

I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes, I will be a wonderful mother.
-Author Unknown

What is FSH?

FSH is the abbreviated name for follicle stimulating hormone.  It is made in the pituitary gland and its secretion is controlled by part of the brain called the hypothalamus.  FSH causes growth of ovarian follicles and causes the follicles to secrete estrogens.  The hypothalamus responds to signals from the ovaries as a guide to its stimulation of the pituitary gland to secrete FSH.  The concentration of FSH changes throughout the menstrual cycle.  The diagram below shows approximate levels of the 2 pituitary hormones which stimulate the ovaries.  On cycle day 3, FSH is at its lowest level during the cycle.  If blood is drawn too close to the time of ovulation, the FSH level will be higher, and may provide misleading information.   

It is also important to note that there are several companies providing “kits” to measure FSH.  Different labs may use different “kits” and the same sample may provide slightly different results.  It is important to know what the standards for the lab are in order to interpret the results.  

An ovarian follicle consists of an egg and a surrounding cluster of cells called granulose cells.  All the eggs a woman will ever have were placed in her ovaries when she was a very early pregnancy in her mother’s uterus.  Soon after that initial installation of these very immature eggs, eggs start to die off and no more eggs replace those which are lost.  The estimate is that about 90% of the original egg number is lost by the time a woman is born, and the attrition continues the rest of her life, until she runs out of eggs. 

The granulose cells surrounding the eggs have several functions.  One is to help maintain the eggs in a sort of suspended animation until it is time to continue egg maturation.  During each month, several eggs start to mature, but typically only one is released in the process of ovulation.  The remainder of the eggs undergoing the maturation process die.    

Another function of granulose cells is to secrete hormones.  During the early part of the menstrual cycle, granulose cells secrete estrogens.  After ovulation, they also secrete progesterone.  There is another pair of hormones secreted by granulose cells.  They are called inhibins.  In addition to the weak inhibition of FSH by estrogens, inhibins strongly inhibit FSH secretion by the pituitary gland.  As a woman runs out of eggs, she also runs out of granulose cells and her production of both estrogens and inhibins declines.  As circulating levels of inhibins falls, FSH secretion rises.  Therefore, high FSH levels imply that a woman is either running out of eggs, or she no longer has available eggs.  Fortunately, today, we can offer a woman who no longer has useable eggs the services of an egg donor to help achieve a pregnancy. 

Dr. Jacobs is a Reproductive Endocrinologist, practicing in Carrollton, Texas, a northern suburb of Dallas.  He completed his residency training in obstetrics and gynecology at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston, and remained at that institution to become its first fellow once Baylor achieved accreditation for an advanced training program in Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility.  Dr. Jacobs has served on the faculty of several medical schools and was director of Reproductive Endocrinology at Texas Tech Health Science Center in Amarillo.  Currently, in addition to his clinical activities caring for infertile patients and those with recurrent pregnancy loss, he is Chairman of the IVF committee at Baylor Medical Center in Carrollton.  

Barry Jacobs, M.D., 4323 M. Josey Lane, Suite #201, Carrollton, TX 75010 www.texasfertility.com
Phone: 972-394-9590 Fax: 972-394-9597

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Are You Ready for National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW)?

National Infertility Awareness Week is April 24th through the 30th and is a great time to raise awareness to those around you regarding those 1 in 8 people who are struggling with infertility. Consider donating some time to RESOLVE—even an hour can make a big difference! You will meet amazing people—most are resolving or have resolved their infertility—and you will make a difference for the 7.3 million who have infertility. You will benefit as well as those you end up educating. Talk to your friends and family and share information, books and links about the facts and myths of infertility. We can make a difference, together!

On Fertile Ground, Healing Infertility by Helen Adrienne LCSW: A LaMothe Book Review

On Fertile Ground, Healing Infertility by Helen Adrienne LCSW is truly a great addition to any fertility professionals lending library and a wonderful asset for anyone going through infertility. I especially liked The Lifestyle Profile, and The Self-Esteem check list which includes a beliefs inventory. You don't have to be infertile to appreciate many of the chapters in this book. Helen addresses the impact infertility can have on a marriage and relationships with family and friends. With real life examples and an intimate look at the medical and emotional process I felt that On Fertile Ground had something that everyone could relate to. Easy to read for minds that are often overwhelmed, this book offers some very real help and solutions for coping with infertility.

A Great Symposium for Infertility and Reproductive Professionals: START ART

Infertility is a challenging and rewarding field of nursing, and one that is evolving rapidly and dramatically, requiring nurses and other healthcare practitioners to constantly remain current with the latest state-of–the ART technology. Those in practice, as well as nurses in transition, accept that this ever changing arena requires an ongoing commitment to pursue new information, techniques, and best practices. And, equal in priority, is the IVF nurse’s sensitivity to parents’ quest to create families and the fragility of early embryonic life.

 The Annual REI Nursing Congress: Scientific & Therapeutic Approaches To Assisted Reproductive Technology (STARTARTSM) provides a unique and comprehensive educational opportunity, featuring critical updates on the latest advances in reproductive medicine, from procedures and protocols to psychosocial and legal issues. The goal of this Congress is to provide late-breaking information and cutting-edge techniques to improve ART outcomes - a goal that is matched by the IVF nurses’ skills, compassion, and caring that make this field so remarkable.

This activity is intended for the education of nurses, nurse practitioners, and other healthcare professionals specializing in reproductive medicine and assisted reproductive technology. (It's great for surrogacy and egg donation agency owners too!)

During lunch on both Thursday, August 4 and Friday, August 5, participants will have the opportunity to join accredited sessions of interactive roundtable discussions. Topics will be posted at the meeting registration desk, where participants may sign up for discussions of issues of special interest. A moderator or faculty member will lead each group. (I am, once again, planning to lead a round table on the topic of Gestational Surrogacy.)

Register HERE https://www.123enroll.com/STARTART

I hope to see you there!!

 Sharon

Brookie Cookie Bookie: A Children's Book About Friendship, Acceptance and Celebrating our Differences by Robin B. Rosenberg: A LaMothe Book Review

Brookie Cookie Bookie: A children's book about friendship, acceptance and celebrating our differences by Robin B. Rosenberg is sure to bring smiles to the faces of small children as they are read to and relate to the pictures drawn by kids their own age. Its large, colorful and the message is timeless. What I particularly enjoyed were the little rhymes on each page telling of another friend of Brook's, the differences they have and what each child has in common. "Siobhan has a BIG family and mine's very small but we both love family time and know it's the most important time of all!" Brookie Cookie Bookie is a great gift for ages 1-6. Read and enjoy!

WA Surrogates Are Not For Sale: More News on HB 1267

Another trip to Olympia on March 15th for the public hearing on HB 1267 to legalize surrogacy in the great state of WA. This time there were many people and groups in opposition to the bill...some wearing bright orange NOT FOR SALE stickers (men as well as women). I wanted to stand up and say that no one is for sale here but that would have landed on ears attached to a mind that was already made up. I learned first hand by trying to have a conversation with Senator Pam Roach. She is the mother of 5 and I believe has 13 grandchildren and has no intention, it seems, to vote yes on HB 1267. Upon hearing the little "vignettes" (her words) she seemed to be an active listener but those true experiences, as told from the Intended Parents point of view, didn't seem as important as her own agenda. One of many statements she made was that because heterosexual couples are required to have a medical reason to "pay" a surrogate then so should homosexuals. (Even the NOT FOR SALE people around me snickered at this for obvious reasons.) She also asked if the bill covered the carrying of "cloned embryos". Yes, we really went there...briefly.

 There was also a mother and her son testifying, Jennifer and Jon, and they both did a wonderful job of explaining why a surrogate was needed to bring Jon into the world. I was really impressed by Jon's willingness to speak up for surrogacy and I know from previous testimony that this family has a loving friendship with their surrogate and family in CA.

Some of the people featured in this Seattle Times report from Monday March 14th were at this public hearing. Although this article states that I think the bill "goes overboard" that isn't the case. There are quite a few provisions in this HB 1267 that you would see in a very well written contract between surrogates and intended parents. Those same issues are simply reiterated here, however the one thing I would remove from this bill is the entire section pertaining to Traditional Surrogacy. (Where a woman uses her own eggs.) I just feel that the state is borrowing trouble with the way it is worded here. Traditional Surrogacy, in my opinion belongs under the adoption laws. (But that's just me...)

I am hoping that this bill at least makes it to the senate floor for a vote...that didn't happen last year. And if it doesn't pass this year there is always next but that is cold comfort to those who need surrogates now and really don't have the means to travel out of state.

Surrogacy a Way to Make a Profit? I Don't Think So!

Here is the video of the interview I did with King 5 News here in Seattle WA yesterday.

 After 45 minutes and some great sound bites it's all about the 'profit'. Guess what! There is no real profit! Lets say a Gestational Carrier/Surrogate Mother has agreed to a total of $24,000.00 of 'living expenses' in her contract with her Intended Parents. Once she is pregnant she is usually compensated monthly. If she doesn't spend all of that monthly money on food, maternity clothing, child care, travel expenses (gas, parking), missed work, labor classes, and other pregnancy related issues, IF she has any 'left over' is that considered a profit? What about her TIME at all of those appointments, her effort in staying healthy, her phone calls to the IPs to keep them informed, her discomfort during the early days of her pregnancy with morning sickness and the later months when she can't even tie her shoes? What about the birth and the hospital stay? If we take all of that into consideration there is NO PROFIT!

I would love to hear what you think! Send me an e-mail or post a comment! Your thoughts are important!

Sunday March 13th at 2 AM is the Time to Spring Ahead!

Time flies and before we know it the time has come to spring ahead and set our clocks! Usually we set them Saturday night before we go to bed but the official time is 2 am on Sunday March 13th. Read below if you want to know WHY we do this in the first place...

Rationale and original idea

If you live near the equator, day and night are nearly the same length (12 hours). But elsewhere on Earth, there is much more daylight in the summer than in the winter. The closer you live to the North or South Pole, the longer the period of daylight in the summer. Thus, Daylight Saving Time (Summer Time) is usually not helpful in the tropics, and countries near the equator generally do not change their clocks.

A poll conducted by the U.S. Department of Transportation indicated that Americans liked Daylight Saving Time because "there is more light in the evenings / can do more in the evenings." A 1976 survey of 2.7 million citizens in New South Wales, Australia, found 68% liked daylight saving. Indeed, some say that the primary reason that Daylight Saving Time is a part of many societies is simply because people like to enjoy long summer evenings, and that reasons such as energy conservation are merely rationalizations.

According to some sources, DST saves energy. Studies done by the U.S. Department of Transportation in 1975 showed that Daylight Saving Time trims the entire country's electricity usage by a small but significant amount, about one percent each day, because less electricity is used for lighting and appliances. Similarly, in New Zealand, power companies have found that power usage decreases 3.5 percent when daylight saving starts. In the first week, peak evening consumption commonly drops around five percent.

The rationale behind the 1975 study of DST-related energy savings was that energy use and the demand for electricity for lighting homes is directly related to the times when people go to bed at night and rise in the morning. In the average home, 25 percent of electricity was used for lighting and small appliances, such as TVs and stereos. A good percentage of energy consumed by lighting and appliances occurred in the evening when families were home. By moving the clock ahead one hour, the amount of electricity consumed each day decreased.

In the summer, people who rose before the sun rises used more energy in the morning than if DST were not in effect. However, although 70 percent of Americans rose before 7:00 a.m., this waste of energy from having less sunlight in the morning was more than offset by the savings of energy that results from more sunlight in the evening.

In the winter, the afternoon Daylight Saving Time advantage is offset for many people and businesses by the morning's need for more lighting. In spring and fall, the advantage is generally less than one hour. So, the rationale was that Daylight Saving Time saves energy for lighting in all seasons of the year, but it saves least during the four darkest months of winter (November, December, January, and February), when the afternoon advantage is offset by the need for lighting because of late sunrise.

In addition, less electricity was thought to be used because people are home fewer hours during the "longer" days of spring and summer. Most people plan outdoor activities in the extra daylight hours. When people are not at home, they don't turn on the appliances and lights.

Although a 1976 report by the National Bureau of Standards disputed the 1975 U.S. Department of Transportation study, and found that DST-related energy savings were insignificant, the DOT study continued to influence decisions about Daylight Saving Time.

The argument in favor of saving energy swayed Indiana, where until 2005, only about 16 percent of counties observed Daylight Saving Time. Based on the DOT study, advocates of Indiana DST estimated that the state’s residents would save over $7 million in electricity costs each year. Now that Indiana has made the switch, however, researchers have found the opposite to be the case. Scientists from the University of California, Santa Barbara, compared energy usage over the course of three years in Indiana counties that switched from year-round Standard Time to DST. They found that Indianans actually spent $8.6 million more each year because of Daylight Saving Time, and increased emissions came with a social cost of between $1.6 million and $5.3 million per year. Commentators have theorized that the energy jump is due to the increased prevalence of home air conditioning over the past 40 years, in that more daylight toward the end of a summer’s day means that people are more likely to use their air conditioners when they come home from work.

However, the Indiana research findings don’t necessarily apply elsewhere. In cooler climates, for example, energy savings may well occur.

In addition, some argue that there is a public health benefit to Daylight Saving Time, as it decreases traffic accidents. Several studies in the U.S. and Great Britain have found that the DST daylight shift reduces net traffic accidents and fatalities by close to one percent. An increase in accidents in the dark mornings is more than offset by the evening decrease in accidents.

However, recent research indicates that pedestrian fatalities from cars soar at 6:00 p.m. during the weeks after clocks are set back in the fall. Walkers are three times as likely to be hit and killed by cars right after the switch than in the month before DST ends. Researchers from Carnegie Mellon University, who found a 186 percent jump in the risk of being killed by a car for every mile walked, speculate that drivers go through an adjustment period when dusk arrives earlier. Although the risk drops in the morning, because there are fewer pedestrians at 6:00 a.m., the lives saved in the morning don’t offset those lost in the evening.

This research corroborates a 2001 study by researchers at the University of Michigan, which found that 65 pedestrians were killed by car crashes in the week before DST ended, and 227 pedestrians were killed in the week following the end of DST.

There may also be an economic benefit to DST, as daylight evening hours encourage people to go out and shop, potentially spurring economic growth.

Idea of Daylight Saving Time

The idea of daylight saving was first conceived by Benjamin Franklin (portrait at right) during his sojourn as an American delegate in Paris in 1784, in an essay, "An Economical Project." Read more about Franklin's essay.

Some of Franklin's friends, inventors of a new kind of oil lamp, were so taken by the scheme that they continued corresponding with Franklin even after he returned to America.

The idea was first advocated seriously by London builder William Willett (1857-1915) in the pamphlet, "Waste of Daylight" (1907), that proposed advancing clocks 20 minutes on each of four Sundays in April, and retarding them by the same amount on four Sundays in September. As he was taking an early morning a ride through Petts Wood, near Croydon, Willett was struck by the fact that the blinds of nearby houses were closed, even though the sun was fully risen. When questioned as to why he didn't simply get up an hour earlier, Willett replied with typical British humor, "What?" In his pamphlet "The Waste of Daylight" he wrote:

"Everyone appreciates the long, light evenings. Everyone laments their shortage as Autumn approaches; and everyone has given utterance to regret that the clear, bright light of an early morning during Spring and Summer months is so seldom seen or used."

Early British laws and lax observance

About one year after Willett began to advocate daylight saving (he spent a fortune lobbying), he attracted the attention of the authorities. Robert Pearce - later Sir Robert Pearce - introduced a bill in the House of Commons to make it compulsory to adjust the clocks. The bill was drafted in 1909 and introduced in Parliament several times, but it met with ridicule and opposition, especially from farming interests. Generally lampooned at the time, Willett died on March 4, 1915.

Following Germany's lead, Britain passed an act on May 17, 1916, and Willett's scheme of adding 80 minutes, in four separate movements was put in operation on the following Sunday, May 21, 1916. There was a storm of opposition, confusion, and prejudice. The Royal Meteorological Society insisted that Greenwich time would still be used to measure tides. The parks belonging to the Office of Works and the London County Council decided to close at dusk, which meant that they would be open an extra hour in the evening. Kew Gardens, on the other hand, ignored the daylight saving scheme and decided to close by the clock.

In Edinburgh, the confusion was even more marked, for the gun at the Castle was fired at 1:00 p.m. Summer Time, while the ball on the top of the Nelson monument on Calton Hill fell at 1:00 Greenwich Time. That arrangement was carried on for the benefit of seamen who could see it from the Firth of Forth. The time fixed for changing clocks was 2:00 a.m. on a Sunday.

There was a fair bit of opposition from the general public and from agricultural interests who wanted daylight in the morning, but Lord Balfour came forward with a unique concern:

"Supposing some unfortunate lady was confined with twins and one child was born 10 minutes before 1 o'clock. ... the time of birth of the two children would be reversed. ... Such an alteration might conceivably affect the property and titles in that House."

After World War I, Parliament passed several acts relating to Summer Time. In 1925, a law was enacted that Summer Time should begin on the day following the third Saturday in April (or one week earlier if that day was Easter Day). The date for closing of Summer Time was fixed for the day after the first Saturday in October.

The energy saving benefits of Summer Time were recognized during World War II, when clocks in Britain were put two hours ahead of GMT during the summer. This became known as Double Summer Time. During the war, clocks remained one hour ahead of GMT throughout the winter.

To read more visit: http://www.webexhibits.org/daylightsaving/c.html

Looking for an Affordable Surrogacy Consultant? Check out LaMothe Surrogacy Consulting, LLC

LaMothe Surrogacy Consultants are dedicated to giving Intended Parents and Surrogates the education and tools needed to make knowledgeable and fact based decisions regarding their Third Party Family Building Options. The old adage 'you don't know what you don't know' is very true in the case of surrogacy arrangements. Deciphering all of the overwhelming information, surrogacy programs, laws, and relationship concerns are what our expert consultants are trained to do. They will take the stress of figuring out how this 'whole thing works'.                     

The key to many Intended Parents success in utilizing surrogacy as a family planning option is their Private In (your) Home Surrogacy Consulting which is offered to those who reside in Seattle, Washington, Rochester, New York, and Orlando, Florida (and surrounding areas for an additional travel fee). This comprehensive program is for those who desire to have the Surrogacy Process explained in the comfort and privacy of your own home. This program includes up to five hours of in-person consultation for up to 4 people and the materials to help with the decision to move forward with a Third Party Family Building Plan.

LaMothe Surrogacy Consulting is NOT a matching service. They do not match Intended Parents, Recipient Couples or Singles with Traditional Surrogates, Gestational Carriers or Egg and Sperm Donors. Instead LSC prepare Couples and Singles, based on individual needs, to find their way through the maze of Third Party Family Building Options. LSC works to provide information and education on how the surrogacy process works, who are the professionals that Intended Parents will meet and hire and the questions that they need to ask during each step of the surrogacy journey.

The Optimist’s Path by Guest Blogger Dr. Christina Grant

Childhood experiences, environment, success and disappointment can play a role in shaping our attitudes. But whatever your current worldview might be, there is always room for a little more optimism. Especially now, when one dark thing after another appears on the nightly news, flexing the optimist muscle is imperative. This helps life become more meaningful, lifts physical energy and vitality, and certainly makes it nicer for others to be in our presence.  

A friend and I were talking about the concept of good health being related to a positive mental attitude. My view was that a positive outlook is a healthier way to live and can even prevent illness. But he countered with something interesting. He said, “Some of the nastiest, most negative thinking people I’ve known have lived to be very old.” Once I thought about this, I had to agree - I’ve seen this too. 

Although we’ve all known a difficult, cantankerous person who lived to old age, I still believe keeping a positive focus is important for physical, mental, and spiritual wellness. I like what Dr. Karl Menninger said, a founder of the Menninger Clinic and proponent of blending psychiatry and medicine: “Set up as an ideal the facing of reality as honestly and as cheerfully as possible.”

 Why go the opposite route? It’s apparent that many of us choose the path of complaining and misery, but why? About complaining, a wise teacher I once had said, “It’s self-correcting. One eventually sees the futility of one’s own negativity, although this may take many lifetimes.” I found this to be an interesting way to look at it: we are all evolving and one of the roads in our travels is the road of pessimism! 

I’d like to think I traveled that road long ago, but things happen and sometimes it just feels really good to get right into the center of the mud pile and complain about everything. If we can be aware of the moment we choose to jump into the mess, and also be a little practiced in how to climb back out and clean off, then once in awhile maybe we can be excused and just indulge. Griping is an indulgence, after all. 

Affirmations are one way to help your mind stay focused on the positive and also to help dig yourself out of the mud pile once you’ve had your fun in there. I encourage you to set up your own self-fulfilling prophecies. Listed below are a few you can use to get you on your way.  

 I make conscious, positive choices

I have the kind of inner fortitude that survives and succeeds through anything

I live in true comfort and joy

I have a healthy vibrant body and mind

I forgive myself for everything

I am open to positive change

I flow easily with change

My own well-being is my top priority

Optimum health is mine now and always

I am fully loved

My body knows how to heal itself

I am completely healthy in every way

Every day I’m feeling happier

I am alive and healed on all levels

I remain in balance, steady, strong, peaceful

I have a lot of options

I have many opportunities

My life is filled with harmony

You can write them out, print and post where you can see them, choose one that resonates with you and put it on your refrigerator, or make a list of your own. Either way, you’re mental focus will be improved and, according to the latest studies on mind-body wellness, you will be healthier and happier. 

Christina Grant, Ph.D., is a specialist in Holistic Healing, Intuitive Guidance, and Energy Balancing. She has helped thousands of people transform physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. A widely published author, she also hosted the "Health Connections" radio program as well as co-hosting Monterey's "Your Health" television series. She is frequently interviewed on radio and television about various aspects of holistic healing. 

To learn more or contact her, visit www.christinagrant.com.

Managing Surrogacy Relationships

The options of starting a family through surrogacy are peaking. Demand and competition are driving the clinical costs down, and it's more affordable for couples who want their own biological child or who want to raise a newborn through the gift of surrogacy and egg donation.

The giver of the gift of surrogacy and the people who are accepting it have needs and expectations of how the relationship should develop. If a comprehensive plan hasn't been made, then complications can arise.

Let's start by giving a hypothetical situation.  Mr. and Mrs. Smith need the help of a surrogate.  They accept the offer from a friend, Mary.   They feel comfortable with this friendship and trust that this woman will take care of herself during the pregnancy.  Mary asks for a certain amount of money to cover costs during pregnancy, and the Smiths agree.  In the back of their mind, Mary is being "paid" to carry their baby.

Mary gets pregnant via in vitro fertilization (IVF) and is now carrying twins for the Smiths.  The Smiths call her every day to see how she is. They ask if they can do anything. They want to attend all the appointments.  They ask the OB if Mary's working, eating, sleeping and sexual activities are OK for their babies.

Mary feels overwhelmed and micromanaged.  After all, she has given birth before, and she knows what she is doing.  Resentment sets in. Soon she is avoiding phone calls and gritting her teeth through appointments, and her husband is wondering what in the world they got themselves into!  The Smiths feel her pulling away and become worried and start to mistrust her actions.  They have a right to ask these questions.  After all, they are "paying" her, and she is carrying their children.  The rest of the pregnancy is filled with stress on both sides, as Mary now can't wait to give birth and get these people off her back.

The babies are born healthy and strong, and the Smiths take them home.  Now Mary hardly EVER hears from them. It may be months before she even sees them, and they used to be close friends.  She feels used and left behind, forgetting how she felt during the pregnancy.  Regret sets in.

 As for the Smiths, they are coping with two new lives!  They are not getting the sleep they used to and bills from the surrogacy and new babies are piling up.  Their lives have been turned upside down, and they can barely get time alone with each other let alone make calls to Mary.

 Discussing Expectations

Can you see what happened?  No one really discussed expectations. The before, during and after pregnancy relationship needs were not met, and therefore, a bad taste has been left behind where the beauty of families working together to bring a much-wanted child into the world should have been.

Before anyone makes the choice of surrogacy, certain aspects need to be thoroughly thought out and discussed. Here is a short list:

*     Should a family member be asked to be a surrogate?

*     Would a friend be a good choice? (If the answer is yes in either of these categories, then there is a separate list of concerns to think about.)

*     What race, religion and marital status would you like a surrogate to be?

*    What is the working status preference of a surrogate?

*     What do you envision your role in the pregnancy?

*     What are your expectations as to the amount of contact with the surrogate during and after the pregnancy?

*     What are the financial expectations, and how will that be handled?

These questions are just the tip of the iceberg, but they open up a dialog and can make a huge difference in a surrogate relationship.

Having someone to mediate is also helpful.  A successful surrogate arrangement can be done independently, but having a third party assist you with relationship management can be invaluable.  Having a third party to handle the escrow account can be a great relief on both the intended parents and surrogate.  Mixing the topics of money and babies is a sticky situation at best and should be avoided - if possible - in order to concentrate on the pregnancy and the surrogacy relationship.  A well-managed escrow account can make all the difference.

Common Questions Regarding Third Party Family Formation Through Surrogacy

What do I do once I have found a surrogate?

There are several steps that need to be taken before and after you locate your surrogate.  Before your search, you need to have an idea of how much the entire process is going to cost and then assess your financial situation.  You need to know if you are going to use your eggs or need an egg donor.  Do you know the laws in your state, or do you need to go to another state?  Do you have a clinic to assist you and an attorney to assist you with contracts?

After you have educated yourself on these issues, you need to have your surrogate medically and psychologically screened through the clinic of your choice.  Contracts need to be drawn up, and support needs to be in place for the rest of the surrogacy pregnancy.

Are there legal issues surrounding surrogacy, or can I just orchestrate this on my own without legal counsel?

States regulate assisted reproductive technology procedures in a variety of ways.  For example, some forty-two states have a statutory scheme that addresses artificial insemination.  But only thirty-five of those 42 states clarify parentage.  There are only five states which recognize some regulation of egg donation.  Most states permit reasonable compensation for egg donation, but there is one state which prohibits compensation of any form.

Surrogate or gestational arrangements are addressed to some degree by at least twenty-three states, with one state prohibiting such arrangements.  Health insurance coverage for ART is required in twelve states.  And finally, Federal law provides some regulation of ART laboratories and requires that pregnancy rates for in vitro fertilization and egg donation cycles be reported to the Centers for Disease Control.  Further, professional societies like the ASRM lay out professional standards and guidelines for their professional members.

So you see, there are many issues surrounding assisted reproduction, not the least of which is ensuring that the contract confirms to state law so that the intended parents' names are placed on the birth certificate.  There are independent surrogates who have orchestrated these arrangements on their own.  However, when you research the web you can see many arrangements where carriers have withheld infants or Intended Parents have failed to pay medical bills and/or compensation.  Either of these behaviors are unacceptable.

A surrogacy arrangement is a two sided arrangement where problems can and will arise.  When a problem arises, your best protection will be a contract that provides a road map to resolve that problem.  We believe that the best interests of the parties and the baby is ensured before the transfer by using an attorney who is skilled in this area. 

What are my rights once the surrogate is pregnant?

Your rights are limited by the contract you have with your surrogate. She is pregnant with your baby but retains full control of her body. That is why mutual trust and the legal agreement are so important. 

I want to be a surrogate, what are my rights?

Like the intended parents, your rights are limited by the contract you have entered into.  There are, however, certain things which you shouldn't have to worry about.  First, you shouldn't have to worry that you are being billed for medical procedures.  Second, you shouldn't be worried that your credit rating is being affected.  Third, you should not have to worry that your monthly reimbursement for your time and risk will be late or not paid.  You are the surrogate, not an investor in a birthing process.

You should expect to walk away from a successful surrogacy without having to pay anything out of your pocket and having received everything that was promised in the contract.  Conversely, your intended parents should not have to worry that you will act in a manner detrimental to the pregnancy.  Since every Surrogacy Agreement has a section which would require you repay the intended parents for detrimental actions, it is important for you to have an independent attorney review the contract on your behalf.  

How involved will I, the intended parent, be with the growing pregnancy?

You are as involved as you and your surrogate agree to be.  Often times you can be fully involved by attending all doctor's appointments and having several visits with your surrogate and her family.  When time constraints and geographic location make that type of closeness impossible, you can use the telephone and email as alternate forms of communication. 

Can I be present at the birth?

If you and your surrogate have agreed that you can attend the birth then that is what you can expect.  All of these issues are agreed to and placed on your legal agreement before the surrogate goes to transfer. 

What if the surrogate won't give up the child?

You hardly ever hear of a gestational surrogate trying to keep a child. In a gestational surrogacy, with no genetic connection to the infant, there is a presumption that the court will automatically place the baby with the Intended Parents.  A traditional surrogacy is different because the Carrier is biologically related to the child.  A court of law will have to terminate her rights, replacing her name with that of the Intended Mother.  The intended father, meanwhile, being biologically related to the child, will have his name immediately placed on the birth certificate. 

Will the surrogate have any rights to the child once the baby is born?

A traditional surrogate will go through a termination and thus will lose any rights.  In most states, a gestational carrier never had rights because she has no genetic connection to the child. 

How do I tell my child about the surrogate mother?

The answer depends on the child and the family structure.  Just as in an adoption, the determinate will be when the child possesses the maturity to understand the implications of surrogacy.  Most likely it will be many years to come before you are faced with that question. There are several books called Love Makes a Family that help parents share the story of their childrens' conception via egg donation, surrogacy or adoption. 

Above are general questions that are often asked by Intended Parents.  If you have any questions that you feel need to be answered please visit LaMothe Surrogacy Consulting and contact us through our Contact Us Page. 

Remember to discuss these and other issues you may have with your own legal advisor or mental health professional.

Washington State to Legalize Surrogacy? Bill HB 1267 Just Might be the Ticket!

Washington State is giving another stab at passing a great bill into law (in my humble opinion), House Bill HB 1267. On Monday, January 24th, I arrived early at my states capitol in Olympia, ready to be heard. (Yes it was rainy but it is WA!) 

Just in case you are drawing a blank, last year we tried to pass this same bill under different numbers, HB 2793. It didn't pass and so here we go again! Just a recap of what this bill stands for; HB 1267 expands and clarifies the rights and obligations of state registered domestic partners and other couples related to parentage AND establishes consistent standards and procedural safeguards for the protection of all parties involved in a surrogacy contract in this state and to confirm the legal status of children born as a result of these contracts. As things stand now, 'commercial' surrogacy is illegal but compassionate (unpaid) surrogacy arrangements are fine. However even women who are 'unpaid' are not protected and can be exploited. This law, the surrogacy portion of it, reads like a contract drawn up in any of the states that have laws and statutes regarding surrogacy already in place. But in Washington State issues that are 'suggested' in those contracts will be Mandated here. (read page 37). 

I do have a couple of concerns here in regard to Traditional Surrogacy portion of this bill and in regard to the mandated disability insurance clause. But I think that those items will be discussed and hopefully cleared up before this bill hits the senate for a vote. (assuming it passes the House!) 

Below is my testimony but know that I did ad lib a bit. I couldn't help myself after seeing several Intended Parents speak emotionally before me about the rigors and expense of going out of state in order to build their families via surrogacy. I could certainly agree with them, as you will read below! 

"My name is Sharon LaMothe and I am the owner of an educational website on building a family through Assisted Reproduction Technology (ART) called Infertility Answers plus I am owner of LaMothe Services, a Reproductive Business Solutions Service and LaMothe Surrogacy Consulting, a Washington based consulting program to assist Intended Parents here in Washington (and other states) learn about the surrogacy process and what they need to do to make their dream of having a family via surrogacy a reality. I also owned a surrogacy agency in Florida which stopped taking new clients when I moved to the Seattle area in 2007. 

Briefly, I am a past 2x Gestational Surrogate. I resided in New York State during my first surrogacy experience and because of the legalities in NY (very similar to WA states current laws) I was forced to leave the NY weeks before the twins were due and fly to Florida (where the laws are favorable for married couples) and give birth there in the Tampa Bay area. I gave birth via C-section so that operation added recovery time which kept me away from my husband and two young children a total of 6 weeks. Not only is it not wise to travel while pregnant, recuperating without your own family and friends around wasn't easy or desirable. However I was compelled to help my friends, the Intended Parents in this case, have the family that they always wanted. The contracts were drawn up in Florida and included some compensation. The psychological and medical screenings were done there as well as the actual embryo transfer. As you can see this took me out of NY state quite often at the IP's expense. I DID volunteer to be their Gestational Surrogate however it would have been MUCH less expensive and easier if I could have stayed in my home state not to mention my home town. (but we knew each other and they didn't want to work with a 'stranger')

My second surrogacy was for a same sex couple from Manhattan and although I had moved to Florida to run my now successful surrogacy agency with my business partner and to give birth, CT had passed a law where both fathers could be placed on the birth certificate. Because that was a favorable outcome for THEM I agreed to travel to CT for the birth of this second set of surrogate twins. I was away from my family once again for approximately 4 weeks and most of that in a hotel room at the Intended Parents expense. Needless to say that if Florida allowed both fathers to be on the birth certificate it would have been wonderful for all involved. 

Because of my past experiences and those of other Surrogates and Intended Parents whom I had matched through my Florida Surrogacy Agency and knowing that Washington State does not allow compensated surrogacy arrangements, I have been working with couples who have been told that the only way they can have a biological child is via surrogacy. Often times the clinics have no further information to share and these intended parents feel like they are on their own with no guidance or information. They will turn to the Internet but swiftly find that they are overwhelmed with information that isn't understandable or pertinent to their unique circumstances. I have helped find agencies in states that they have family or friends in, find clinics that are cost effective, locate attorneys who are knowledgeable and experienced in contract negotiations and find mental heath professionals to help them through this emotional process. Some Intended Parents have family members or friends here in WA state who will waive any compensation and carry a baby for them. These people still need to have all the support and education they need to make an informed decision UP FRONT and that's where my expertize comes into play. 

I feel that if this bill is finally passed into law we will see less travel out of our state and perhaps more people coming to WA to use the facilities that already offer services to families using assisted reproductive technology without the surrogacy component. (egg donation, IVF, IUI etc.) It would be more convenient, less expensive and conducive to great surrogacy relationships between IPs and the woman carrying a baby for them here in a state that would be supportive and have laws in place that would protect one and all." 

I hope all my readers will support HB1267 and I will keep you posted on the results.

How Can I Find a Qualified Traditional Surrogate or Gestational Carrier?

 

 
Please note: You must ask your infertility clinic or Reproductive Endocrinologist for their list of qualifications in order for a Traditional Surrogate or Gestational Carrier to enter into their program. Do this before you start your search. Health issues, weight, age and uncomplicated pregnancies are just a few of the many requirements and qualifications.   

There are many ways to locate a Traditional surrogate (TS) or Gestational Carrier (GC). You need to consider all your options and ask yourself what will be the most comfortable for your personal situation and life style. 

1) Tell friends and family that you are looking for a surrogate, and find someone through word of mouth.   

2) Search the Web. There are several places online that have women advertising to assist infertile couples through surrogacy.

 3) Contact a clinic or attorney and get a referral to an agency/matching service, or contact an agency directly.  

4) Find a Surrogacy or Egg Donation consultant to lead you in the right direction and offer tips, advice, and to agencies with a great track record.

5) Ask a family member or friend directly to carry your child for you.

Cultivate Joy as an Antidote to Stress By Guest Blogger Christina Grant, PhD

There are many changes going on. From the power of the internet to new electronic devices, from weather and nature to the world itself, we are witnessing momentous times.

Sometimes the change can be overwhelming. It can touch us on a very personal level, emotionally, mentally, and even physically. Change brings stress, which can be felt even through minor infections and colds. 

Cultivating joy is a powerful antidote to the stress of change. Through the energy of joy, your immune system can overcome just about anything and you will find yourself enjoying life despite external events. 

One occurrence causing some folks stress is watching our collective shadow as a nation emerge. As this happens, it becomes more difficult for us to maintain our comfortable worldview. It also is more challenging to ignore our own individual shadow, which is the "dark" part of ourselves we try to hide and pretend doesn't exist. 

As a nation, our shadow holds judgment, blame, self-righteousness, racism, secrecy, and fear (among others). While this shadow gets illumined for us and the world to see, it is our opportunity as individuals to look within and witness our own shadow. 

What about your own self do you keep hidden away? This becomes part of your personal shadow. It’s not always easy to see, but when we can answer this, we become more conscious and wise. Our relationships become healthier. We are more able to add our light to the world, rather than our darkness.

For those of you willing to take a look at your own shadow, addressing the inner self is key. One way is to begin healing the damaged heart center, also called the heart chakra. Everyone has suffered heart wounds which can prevent the heart chakra from flowing in a healthy way. 

Compassion and understanding for ourselves and for people who hold differing beliefs filters through the heart chakra. Love for others and for our own imperfections is its domain, too. But how often do we find ourselves participating in negativity and fear instead of heartfelt love? At these times we have lost connection with the true self, the higher self, the more wise and divine self.

Stress and the rapid changes of life can be more easily managed when lost or hidden parts of the self are brought together, heart chakra damage is repaired, and we step into the more soulful self, thereby reconnecting with the nourishing energy of love. This activates a sense of well-being, which leads to joy. 

Here is one easy way to cultivate more joy in the midst of change. Notice how you feel in the center of your chest. Easy and flowing? Healthy? Tight, constricted, or closed off? Breathe slowly while focusing your attention on expanding and softening the area around your heart center (the center of your chest at your sternum). Continue to follow your breath in this way for a few minutes. You’ve just taken a powerful first step toward healing your heart chakra and alleviating stress. 

Christina Grant, PhD is a holistic healer, counselor, and writer living on the Central California Coast. Learn more at www.christinagrant.com.