Narrowing your Choices:Surrogates

     If you have been following along you may have read what I wrote to the IP's a couple of days ago....and you know, it goes the same for a surrogate. How can a surrogate be 'too picky" when SHE is the one doing the favor? When she is the one helping a couple make a family? Now let's be honest, one surrogate to another, we have our reasons for being surrogates AND our biological clocks can run out and we don't like the feeling of being in limbo forever and our families don't like it either. (And so on and so forth)  Sure you have your hopes for the type of people you finally are matched with but it can take a lot longer if you don't have a realistic view of just who is out there looking for YOU, Suzy Surrogate. You have your beliefs and I am saying stick to those...if you don't believe in selective reduction and abortion by all means do not compromise yourself. However, if you are thinking that you only want to help a 'childless' couple, I ask you to rethink that notion. Isn't providing a sibling for that child just as important as helping someone that has no children. I know some women that wouldn't even talk to a couple if step children were involved or adopted children for that matter...that choice leaves out a whole category of IP's who want their own baby. What about location. Yes, I know that you too are looking for someone close and who will be there to hold your hand every step of the way...but know that you may have to wait all the longer just because you hate the idea that the IP's are over 200 miles away.

    Perhaps you need to think of what is really important to you in this surrogacy relationship...and by all means if location and looking for a childless couple is that important then don't be disappointed that you need to wait longer then someone who says "I am open to anyone who needs my help". When you have that open attitude then you can be matched faster. It's as simple as that. And when you meet your prospective IP's you can decide then if the chemistry is there and all of the other things/requirements you might be looking for are in place. You might be surprised and have the best relationship with IP's that you might otherwise have passed by.

Sharon

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