One of my patients told me recently about a resentment prayer that she had learned about in her 12 step program. As I listened, I realized that I had instinctively learned to let go of my resentment toward pregnant women after I had had a preemie at 26 weeks gestation. For quite a while after the birth of my child, I was angry beyond words. I was angry that others got pregnant easily and had easy pregnancies. I was even angry that they got to wear their pretty maternity dresses. One day though, I realized that none of these women had done anything to me. They did not know me and I did not know them. It was not personal.
When I stopped taking it personally, I began to have a moment of peace. I practiced
hoping and wishing that each of the pregnant ladies I saw would have a happy,
healthy, safe pregnancy. As I did so, resentment, jealousy, and the fist around
my heart released. I now hope for the best for every pregnant woman. I feel
that it is a life mission for me to send love, health and safety to each woman
for a fruitful reproductive journey.
So even if you are currently filled with resentment, whether it is about
reproduction or any other resentment that you have in your life, send that
person your best wishes. You may not feel it at first, and it may even feel
false. But keep doing it. You might be surprised that you begin to feel free
and more compassionate for them and yourself.
Dr. Simmons is an expert in pregnancy loss & infertility counseling, including psychoeducation for donor eggs, donor sperm, and surrogacy, in the Twin Cities. Call 763-546-5797, x 102 for an appointment today.
