Surrogacy 101

Surrogates: Traveling While Pregnant? 8 Tips to Help You Through

Surrogates of often asked to travel while pregnant. If not to actually have the baby in a surrogacy friendly state then to travel to the Intended Parents home state for a visit or ultrasound appointment so that they can feel a part of the pregnancy process. Although I do not recommend travel for the birth for surrogates, I actually did that very thing myself...twice! Below are some tips I found over at babycenter.com. (why reinvent the wheel, right?)

*DON'T forget to check your contract to make sure that you can travel within the time frame you and your IP's have agreed on. 

 If you have any travel tips or stories to share, please do!

1. Although rules vary, many airlines don't allow pregnant women to fly during the last week or month of their pregnancy without a note from their healthcare provider. Airline regulations aside, most healthcare providers discourage travel after 36 weeks unless it's absolutely necessary.

Ask your doctor or midwife whether there are any medical concerns you need to worry about or upcoming tests you need to work around, or whether you're actually okay to travel, period. High-risk pregnancies need extra TLC, which may prohibit travel.

2. Consider your prenatal test schedule

Time your travel around any prenatal tests you want or need to schedule. The following tests are typically performed during the specified weeks of pregnancy: chorionic villus sampling (CVS) (10 to 12 weeks); amniocentesis (15 to 18 weeks); multiple marker screening (15 to 20 weeks); ultrasound (16 to 20 weeks); glucose screening test (GCT) (24 to 28 weeks); group B strep screening (35 to 37 weeks). (And if you're Rh-negative, you'll need your shot of Rh immunoglobulin at 28 weeks.) If you decide to have one or more of these tests, allow time to get the results — and strategize next steps, if appropriate — before leaving on an extended trip.

3. Gather your medical records and vital health information

Before you leave, prepare a list of key names and phone numbers you'll need in case of emergency and pack it in your carry-on luggage. If you are in your second or third trimester, bring along a copy of your prenatal chart, too, and keep it with you at all times during your trip. The chart should include your age, your last menstrual period, your due date, the number and outcomes of any prior pregnancies, your risk factors for disease, pregnancy-related lab tests and ultrasounds, your medical and surgical history, and a flow sheet of vital signs taken at each visit. If you're planning an extended visit, have your healthcare provider refer you to someone in the area for check-ups or emergencies.

4. Make sure you have all the medications you need

Be careful to pack a sufficient supply of prescription medications, prenatal vitamins, and even over-the-counter remedies you may need during your trip — especially if you're going someplace where those medications aren't readily available. It's a good idea to keep prescription medicine in its original container, so if your bags are searched it will be clear that you're not using medication without a prescription.

5. Check your health insurance policy

Find out if it covers pregnancy complications during travel to your intended destinations (particularly if they include foreign countries). If not, you may want to purchase additional insurance.

6. Buy travel insurance

This special insurance covers expenses if you miss all or part of your trip, or run up emergency expenses on the road. Make sure the policy covers pregnancy complications as well as emergency medical transport from your chosen destination(s).

7. Prepare for the unexpected

If you haven't already, join an auto club that provides road service in case your car breaks down or has a flat tire. Carry the phone numbers for any airlines you'll be using in case you need to confirm or reschedule flights. And always carry a cell phone, especially if you're traveling alone.

8. If flying in your third trimester, check your airline's policies 

 

Common Questions Regarding Third Party Family Formation Through Surrogacy

What do I do once I have found a surrogate?

There are several steps that need to be taken before and after you locate your surrogate.  Before your search, you need to have an idea of how much the entire process is going to cost and then assess your financial situation.  You need to know if you are going to use your eggs or need an egg donor.  Do you know the laws in your state, or do you need to go to another state?  Do you have a clinic to assist you and an attorney to assist you with contracts?

After you have educated yourself on these issues, you need to have your surrogate medically and psychologically screened through the clinic of your choice.  Contracts need to be drawn up, and support needs to be in place for the rest of the surrogacy pregnancy.

Are there legal issues surrounding surrogacy, or can I just orchestrate this on my own without legal counsel?

States regulate assisted reproductive technology procedures in a variety of ways.  For example, some forty-two states have a statutory scheme that addresses artificial insemination.  But only thirty-five of those 42 states clarify parentage.  There are only five states which recognize some regulation of egg donation.  Most states permit reasonable compensation for egg donation, but there is one state which prohibits compensation of any form.

Surrogate or gestational arrangements are addressed to some degree by at least twenty-three states, with one state prohibiting such arrangements.  Health insurance coverage for ART is required in twelve states.  And finally, Federal law provides some regulation of ART laboratories and requires that pregnancy rates for in vitro fertilization and egg donation cycles be reported to the Centers for Disease Control.  Further, professional societies like the ASRM lay out professional standards and guidelines for their professional members.

So you see, there are many issues surrounding assisted reproduction, not the least of which is ensuring that the contract confirms to state law so that the intended parents' names are placed on the birth certificate.  There are independent surrogates who have orchestrated these arrangements on their own.  However, when you research the web you can see many arrangements where carriers have withheld infants or Intended Parents have failed to pay medical bills and/or compensation.  Either of these behaviors are unacceptable.

A surrogacy arrangement is a two sided arrangement where problems can and will arise.  When a problem arises, your best protection will be a contract that provides a road map to resolve that problem.  We believe that the best interests of the parties and the baby is ensured before the transfer by using an attorney who is skilled in this area. 

What are my rights once the surrogate is pregnant?

Your rights are limited by the contract you have with your surrogate. She is pregnant with your baby but retains full control of her body. That is why mutual trust and the legal agreement are so important. 

I want to be a surrogate, what are my rights?

Like the intended parents, your rights are limited by the contract you have entered into.  There are, however, certain things which you shouldn't have to worry about.  First, you shouldn't have to worry that you are being billed for medical procedures.  Second, you shouldn't be worried that your credit rating is being affected.  Third, you should not have to worry that your monthly reimbursement for your time and risk will be late or not paid.  You are the surrogate, not an investor in a birthing process.

You should expect to walk away from a successful surrogacy without having to pay anything out of your pocket and having received everything that was promised in the contract.  Conversely, your intended parents should not have to worry that you will act in a manner detrimental to the pregnancy.  Since every Surrogacy Agreement has a section which would require you repay the intended parents for detrimental actions, it is important for you to have an independent attorney review the contract on your behalf.  

How involved will I, the intended parent, be with the growing pregnancy?

You are as involved as you and your surrogate agree to be.  Often times you can be fully involved by attending all doctor's appointments and having several visits with your surrogate and her family.  When time constraints and geographic location make that type of closeness impossible, you can use the telephone and email as alternate forms of communication. 

Can I be present at the birth?

If you and your surrogate have agreed that you can attend the birth then that is what you can expect.  All of these issues are agreed to and placed on your legal agreement before the surrogate goes to transfer. 

What if the surrogate won't give up the child?

You hardly ever hear of a gestational surrogate trying to keep a child. In a gestational surrogacy, with no genetic connection to the infant, there is a presumption that the court will automatically place the baby with the Intended Parents.  A traditional surrogacy is different because the Carrier is biologically related to the child.  A court of law will have to terminate her rights, replacing her name with that of the Intended Mother.  The intended father, meanwhile, being biologically related to the child, will have his name immediately placed on the birth certificate. 

Will the surrogate have any rights to the child once the baby is born?

A traditional surrogate will go through a termination and thus will lose any rights.  In most states, a gestational carrier never had rights because she has no genetic connection to the child. 

How do I tell my child about the surrogate mother?

The answer depends on the child and the family structure.  Just as in an adoption, the determinate will be when the child possesses the maturity to understand the implications of surrogacy.  Most likely it will be many years to come before you are faced with that question. There are several books called Love Makes a Family that help parents share the story of their childrens' conception via egg donation, surrogacy or adoption. 

Above are general questions that are often asked by Intended Parents.  If you have any questions that you feel need to be answered please visit LaMothe Surrogacy Consulting and contact us through our Contact Us Page. 

Remember to discuss these and other issues you may have with your own legal advisor or mental health professional.

Surrogacy a Way to Make a Profit? I Don't Think So!

Here is the video of the interview I did with King 5 News here in Seattle WA in 2011. We, here in the WA state, hope to support a new surrogacy bill in 2015. It's amazing how people who have never needed a surrogate to assist them feel about the money involved. 

After 45 minutes and some great sound bites it's all about the 'profit'. Guess what! There is no real profit! Lets say a Gestational Carrier/Surrogate Mother has agreed to a total of $24,000.00 of 'living expenses' in her contract with her Intended Parents. Once she is pregnant she is usually compensated monthly. If she doesn't spend all of that monthly money on food, maternity clothing, child care, travel expenses (gas, parking), missed work, labor classes, and other pregnancy related issues, IF she has any 'left over' is that considered a profit? What about her TIME at all of those appointments, her effort in staying healthy, her phone calls to the IPs to keep them informed, her discomfort during the early days of her pregnancy with morning sickness and the later months when she can't even tie her shoes? What about the birth and the hospital stay? If we take all of that into consideration there is NO PROFIT!

I would love to hear what you think! Send me an e-mail or post a comment! Your thoughts are important!

The Surrogacy Relationship: Staying in contact.....or not

After interviewing hundreds of potential surrogates and talking with the same amount of Intended Parents over the years, the subject always comes up regarding contact after the birth. This conversation takes place far before any match is made and has shown me over and over the optimism of all parties involved. 'No matter who I am matched with, we will be having a baby and I would like to know what will our relationship look like after the birth?' Expectations. Optimism. Positive thinking. Call it what you will but its a subject that needs to be discussed. It needs to be discussed and UNDERSTOOD that no matter what each party maybe feeling NOW, emotions, relationships, situations will change. (Not may change, WILL CHANGE.)

 

     I think that some Intended Parents are more than willing to consider a relationship with their surrogate and try to actually build that into their vision of what a future will look like for their child/children. Some IP's, flat out, state that they can't get beyond the thought of a once a year photo and a small percentage are seemingly firm on their views on future relationship...no contact at all. Period.

 

     A large percentage of women who envision themselves becoming a surrogate for a lucky couple want some contact after the birth of the baby. They understand that this isn't their biological child. They are cognizant of the fact that legally they have no rights, however, they may see themselves receiving photos and visiting with the family a couple of times a year...maybe e-mails or cards when the big milestones happen; first tooth, first step, first day of school. Why is this? I don't believe that it has as much to do with the baby but with the Intended Parents themselves. Surrogate's want to believe that they will mean more to their couple then "being just a carrier". That they will become life long friends with a common goal. That the couple will appreciate her forever and want to share the same joys that she has experienced with her own children. And, honestly, throughout the surrogacy journey most relationships move from the parties being complete strangers to constant companions. It's hard to make that jump, after the birth, and return to "normal" life for the surrogate mother and the IP's taking care of a newborn. In an instant, their relationship has changed.

 

     When the decision to work together within the realm of surrogacy was reached, the conversation regarding contact after the birth should have taken place. And no matter what the agreed consensus was at that time, hopefully as the pregnancy progressed, the topic was discussed again. It's ok if the thought process changed and feelings are now decidedly different between the start of this relationship and the birth but it is important that no one is lead to believe something that will/will not be happening...whether that means there will be no contact at all on the surrogates part, or there will be no photos coming from the IP's or that an unexpected friendship bloomed and everyone wants to have lots of contact as apposed to very little.  Whatever the situation its best to remember that communication is key and the understanding of each other's emotional investment is essential!

 

Sharon

www.InfertilityAnswers.net