Surrogacy 101

The Surrogacy Contract and the Loss of Reproductive Organs Clause

Loss of Reproductive Organs 

 

Reimbursement for the Loss of Reproductive Organs is a fairly new concept and one that I honestly disagree with however it doesn't matter what I think in this case...it matters if it's a deal breaker to the Surrogate or Intended Parent when it comes to contract issues.

 

When a surrogate agrees to enter into a contract with Intended Parents it’s usually written SOMEWHERE in the contract that she, the surrogate, is aware of the complications of child birth. This can be worded in many different ways but what this section is really saying to women is that you know that there are risks to pregnancy and birth. The risk of an ectopic pregnancy, risk of miscarriage, risk of infections, risk of c-sections, risk of high blood pressure, risk of gestational diabetes, risk of hysterectomy, and yes, even the risk of death. This list is as long as my arm but I think my point is very clear. Being a surrogate mother is risky! (which is why you need health and life insurance!)

 

To ask for a set amount in case there is a loss of reproductive organs has been seen in quite a few of the newer contracts. I have noticed anywhere from $15,000 to $25,000 depending on what reproductive organ is lost. In the case of an ectopic pregnancy an ovary might be damaged or lost and with a hysterectomy the uterus and other parts of the reproductive system are removed. Each of these situations, where organs are removed, is usually done in emergency circumstances only. Even in the case of a miscarriage with a D&C the uterine lining can be damaged and a condition called Ashermans syndrome can occur and make the surrogate mother unable to carry for anyone, including herself.

 

Most of these organ threatening situations are rare but they do happen. Many agencies and clinics will ask the woman wanting to be a surrogate if she feels satisfied with her family as it stands at that moment. Would she regret it if she couldn't add to her own family in the future? If so, is that a risk she is willing to take? And lets be honest, no amount of money is going to placate a woman for her loss of fertility. Even $25,000 isn't going to scratch the surface of replacing her ability to become pregnant and carry her own child. (How well her very own Intended Parents will know this!)

 

Comments? Is your contract different? I would like to hear from you!

 

Sharon

www.InfertilityAnswers.net

Question: Why are some Gestational Surrogates paid more then other Gestational Surrogates?

Answer: I just had this discussion this week regarding why aren't surrogates (and their fees) divided into just two categories; 'First Timers' and Experienced. Women becoming a surrogate for the first time have a lot of research to do plus testing to go through. They often have psychological evaluations, need to be coached through the medical protocol, don't understand the shot regimen or the medications they need to take and are unsure of how the birth will effect them emotionally. In a nut shell, they need more hand holding! (And should have it!) 

 

An experienced Surrogate usually will not need another psychological eval unless something major has changed in her life over the past 1-2 years (Although I often recommend one anyway no matter what the length of time between surrogacies), she is familiar with the medical expectations even if they have changed because of new technology and she knows how she feels after giving birth to someone else's baby. (which is often a huge plus for Intended Parents who are worried about this very emotional time in the surrogacy relationship.)

 

So this begs the question of women who have been surrogates three or four + times why their "base" fee is higher then someone who has had one successful surrogacy arrangement and is matched for her 2nd time. What is the difference? Other then the fact that the 'more experienced' surrogate had proven that she can carry multiple times I say that there isn't much of a difference. As a matter of fact, if a surrogate has more then 3 C-sections she is no longer desirable to a number of clinics/RE's because of the many risks of weakening uteruses and scar tissue to name a couple of complications.

 

I will even put myself out on a limb and state that I feel it would be better for surrogates and IP's alike if there were two levels of Base Fees....One for the first time surrogate and a level for the experienced surrogate. (with and without the insurance element) Remember I am talking base fee....there is still the laundry list of other "benefits" that are individualized to each situation such as lost wages, housekeeping, child care, maternity clothes, travel and invasive procedures to name a few.

 

Will this, two tiered compensation plan, happen a crossed our great nation? Perhaps, if government regulation steps in. Will Base Fee's be taxed? Will 1099's make for higher base fees because the IP's need to pay even more for a woman to carry their baby? And will there be a tax credit for IP's using surrogate mothers to carry their children? I have no doubt that these questions will be answered in time!

 

Sharon

www.InfertilityAnswers.net

Infertility Answers~ Research Your Options Here

There are many reasons why you might be looking for an alternative way to create your family and Infertility Answers is designed to assist you in that very personal decision. If you are considering Gestational Surrogacy, Traditional Surrogacy, using an Egg or Sperm Donor or even Embryo Donation then we welcome you! Infertility Answers even has a section dedicated to pregnancy issues! As you read through this site you will find information that addresses these topics and so much more.

The Infertility Answers Mission...  

... is to assist you, as Surrogate, Donor or Intended Parent, to learn all you can about Third Party Reproduction so an informed decision can be made. Perhaps you have been frustrated at your attempt to gain knowledge through agencies, clinics or attorneys. Having your basic questions answered here will help you ask the right questions when the time comes to put your Assisted Reproduction plan into action.

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Our LaMothe Surrogacy Consultants are dedicated to giving Intended Parents and Surrogates the education and tools needed to make knowledgeable and fact based decisions regarding their Third Party Family Building Options. The old adage 'you don't know what you don't know' is very true in the case of surrogacy arrangements. Deciphering all of the overwhelming information, surrogacy programs, laws, and relationship concerns are what our expert consultants are trained to do. Let us take the stress of figuring out how this 'whole thing works' by contacting LaMothe Surrogacy Consulting today.

 

Have you read about our Full Service Surrogacy Consulting Program? Please read all about it on our Consulting Services page!

The key to many Intended Parents success in utilizing surrogacy as a family planning option is our Private In (your) Home Surrogacy Consulting which is offered to those who reside in Seattle, Washington, Rochester, New York, and Orlando, Florida (and surrounding areas for an additional travel fee). This comprehensive program is for those who desire to have the Surrogacy Process explained in the comfort and privacy of their own home. This program includes up to five hours of in-person consultation for up to 4 people and the materials to help with the decision to move forward with a Third Party Family Building Plan.

                           

 

If you are an International Intended Parent, LaMothe Surrogacy Consulting is equipped to educate you regarding Surrogacy in the United States. Materials are sent directly to your home and then times are arranged for your own private phone consultation. We also utilize Skype if that is your wish. This is a five hour educational package with materials and can be seperated into 2-3 consultations. Contact us for details. 

 

LaMothe Surrogacy Consulting is NOT a matching service. We do not match Intended Parents, Recipient Couples or Singles with Traditional Surrogates, Gestational Carriers or Egg and Sperm Donors. Instead we prepare Couples and Singles, based on individual needs, to find their way through the maze of Third Party Family Building Options. We work to provide information and education on how the surrogacy process works, who are the professionals that Intended Parents will meet and hire and the questions that they need to ask during each step of the surrogacy journey.

       

 

*We also provide egg, embryo and sperm donation information and education when requested.

**Occasionally we will perform requested surrogacy search's for Intended Parents on a case by case basis

Do Surrogates Expect Too Much From Intended Parents?

I have been part of a discussion on Facebook and wanted to share it with you. It seems that surrogates might be expecting too much from Intended Parents when it comes to being appreciated.

 

Here is a quote from 'SC':  "Surrogacy in all its forms would not be possible without IPs or Surrogates.. The surrogates in this world need to suck it up and figure out they are not saints, they are not one of a kind, they are not the only womane in the world to get pregnant, they are not entited.

Surrogacy tends to be a very one sided affair.  Everyone is so ready to jump to the aide of the surrogate, like some fragile little fairy.

I hear so often "You are such an angel for what you do."  While I appreciate the thought,  Surrogacy would not be possible without the IP, the hope and trust they put into someone else to carry their dream.  The crap some of them have to put up with, spoon feeding compliments and presents into their surrogate to make her feel accomplished and spoiled enough, really makes me sick."

My response to this?  I understand that you may be talking to the FEW women out there who have the audacity to take the vulnerable Intended Parent for a ride however, you would rarely find that happening when an agency is used and protocol is followed for this very delicate process. Your statement makes it seem that the IPs are put on this planet to "allow" a woman to be a surrogate for them. Really? I think not. I think IPs would rather carry their own baby AND a woman inclined to be a surrogate would find some other outlet for her good deeds. As far as "spoon feeding compliments" and the like, people need to feel appreciated. Its all about the relationship and in ANY good relationship appreciation matters. You tell your daughter "great job helping your brother with his homework", your husband "thank you for taking out the trash", your mother "thanks for taking the kids for me tonight" and so on so why not a little acknowledgement for a job well done to a woman carrying a baby for 9 months for someone else? I also want to add that if a proper contract is in place, the relationship is on solid ground, and psychological evaluations were completed properly, there is no need for anyone to worry about "keeping the baby" which is very rare even if it is considered (by the surrogate).

I don't believe that surrogacy is a one-sided affair...it has many sides and many reasons for its existence and yes, sometimes there is drama but not over lack of compliments or gifts...it's all about respecting the relationship and that's what I teach my clients. No one needs to "suck it up". Where is the respect in that. Not just 'any woman' can be a surrogate just like not just any woman can be an egg donor. To even consider giving the gift of life to another couple through surrogacy is unique and takes a special person, supported by her special family to even consider such a gesture. And Intended Parents appreciate that fact. Without these women...there would be no surrogacy. Without Intended Parents there would be no NEED for surrogacy. THAT is the difference!

This is what I truly believe. That the need for Surrogacy came first and then a woman stepped up to the plate for that couple and said "I will carry your baby for you". 'SC' goes onto say that surrogates should feel thankful and blessed that they were chosen at all. That the Intended Parents are giving the honor for carrying a baby for them. Other comments included that surrogates shouldn't even be paid. One intended father actually called surrogates whores and bitches. (I am sorry for the profanity folks but it's a fact and his posts were removed after some very outraged surrogates replied) All because money was involved and I am sure his personal experiences. 

So I want to know, if a surrogate is under contract and 'paid' for her services, does she deserve any more appreciation then her monthly check? Are notes or cards on birthdays or holidays out? Are flowers at the delivery a no-no? Are little niceties that you would offer a friend when she is on bed rest out the window all because she is already being paid? What are the expectations?

I would like to point out that this discussion mostly centered around anti-agency people although there were some very good points made by those who supported surrogacy agency's in general. But I think that one of the roles of a surrogacy agency is to define the expectations of all parties before, during and after the pregnancy. Sure some things can and do change, but having a third party in the mix can be a huge help.

Lastly I would like to thank 'SC' for bringing this topic to the attention of so many people. It is worthy of discussion but with out the name-calling!