Surrogacy agencies review hundreds of applications a month. 90-95% of these applicants are not qualified due to age, weight, health issues, location (their state not having surro-friendly laws), on welfare, on medications, nursing, want $100,000.00 + and some, once they find out that needles are involved, run very fast and very far away. Finding a woman who is not only qualified but really does have a place in her heart to help another family out is harder to find then you may think.
Back in the day, when *I* was a surrogate, there really weren't message boards and places to compare contracts and benefits. Any payments were pretty straight up. You were reimbursed with a 'base compensation package' and you could expect all medical and legal costs to be covered plus maternity clothes, child care, lost wages, life insurance, house keeping if you were on bedrest and any travel...you know, the basics. And all seemed well in the world and IPs didn't feel taken advantage of and went along with the process. Surrogates didn't "shop" for the highest compensation in the land and for every possible wish list item to be covered.
Now before you get all caught up in what you feel these women deserve, lets talk about the extra's that are being asked for by the potential surrogates TODAY:
Extra money for organic food and free-range beef and chicken
Reimbursements for acupuncture and maternity massage
Monthly Maintenance allowance for items not covered in the contract (undocumented and over $200.00+)
Reimbursements to have the placenta encapsulated
Money for an essential oil packages
Gym memberships to get back into shape after the baby is born
Payments for loss of a reproductive organs (upwards of $25,000.00)
Pedicures and manicures
and more...
All of this, plus all of the basic expectations (mentioned before) and $25,000.00+ for a first time surrogate. Is it any wonder that a Surrogacy Agency is trying to pull in the reigns and manage expectations on behalf of their Intended Parents?
On the flip side of this you do have some IPs, especially those that can afford it, offering to install filtered drinking water systems, will pay extra for their surrogate to adopt a different and sometimes strange diet, will pay for special vitamins/minerals to be ingested, will provide CDs and head phones so that the baby can "listen" to music and stories in utero, may want their surrogate to travel to be "blessed", purchase belly casting, pay for henna tattoos and professional photos of everyone involved with the pregnant "belly" that is the surrogate. This list goes on for the IPs as well.
For now it is the Surrogacy Agency that is trying to keep the cost down for their Intended Parents. Unless the IPs specifically ask for certain benefits to be added, the agency uses the same base pay and general expenses that every surrogate deserves. And as a surrogate, you have to ask yourself, do I need MORE then this to help someone complete their family? Do I need more money to feel appreciated? Why am I doing this in the first place?
I believe surrogacy is a priceless gift and I believe that if every Intended Parent could afford to give their surrogate a million dollars, they would. The fact remains that surrogacy is a very costly endeavor and although the financial aspect is distasteful to discuss when talking about babies and pregnancy, someone in the process has to ask how much is too much.
Posted by: Sharon LaMothe~
Founder of LaMothe Surrogacy Consulting
Owner LaMothe Services
