I belong to a lot of support groups....mostly for surrogates and IPs and some professional only groups. I am sorry to say that I just can't believe how potential surrogates and experienced surrogates treat each other on these groups and message boards. I have always believed that these FB groups have been started for support and education...even sharing experiences but what I have read in the past few days is just women tearing down other women! And for what? I just don't get it. I would like to think that these people wouldn't act this way in person but I'm afraid I would be wrong. It's shameful in the name of US surrogacy. And I would like to add that the groups that are moderated by agencies are NEVER allowed to become this insane...it always seems to be a supportive atmosphere with advice and answers to questions without the worry of being ridiculed. Please STOP this madness.
Owners and Moderators of a support page or a group: Please reprimand the bullies! That is your J.O.B. Just like you toss (ban or delete) people out who post those stupid sunglasses and handbag advertisements, these women who "just speak their own mind and tell it like it is" while walking all over someone's feelings or with the attitude that they "just give my opinion and if you don't like it you can leave" need to be reminded why they are on that particular page or in that support group. One warning, and on the next infraction, out they should go. It's hard. I know. I have "owned" several support and educational groups. Moderators are there to protect the area from all sorts of invaders like advertisers, trolls, creeps, and bullies. Be a part of the solution and not a part of the problem.
Here is a clue that your group has a bully(s) in it--when a person posts a question or comment and ends it with "no bashing please". What this means is that they know that some people in this group will start bashing, that the topic might be sensitive, that the group is not moderated but the poster still wants input and support regarding her question.
For those that just can't seem to control themselves when sitting behind a keyboard and monitor screen, if you can't be nice then just don't type...let it go...if you can't be supportive then just skip the post. If you want to be supportive but don't know what to say then just leave a smile or a heart...or a hug. If you have something to contribute then please leave your judgments at the door and just state the facts ma'am. We are ALL better then this...YOU are better then this!
I belong to a lot of support groups....mostly for surrogates and IPs and some professional only groups. I am sorry to say that I just can't believe how potential surrogates and experienced surrogates treat each other on these groups and message boards. I have always believed that these FB groups have been started for support and education...even sharing experiences but what I have read in the past few days is just women tearing down other women! And for what? I just don't get it. I would like to think that these people wouldn't act this way in person but I'm afraid I would be wrong. It's shameful in the name of US surrogacy. And I would like to add that the groups that are moderated by agencies are NEVER allowed to become this insane...it always seems to be a supportive atmosphere with advice and answers to questions without the worry of being ridiculed. Please STOP this madness.
Owners and Moderators of a support page or a group: Please reprimand the bullies! That is your J.O.B. Just like you toss (ban or delete) people out who post those stupid sunglasses and handbag advertisements, these women who "just speak their own mind and tell it like it is" while walking all over someone's feelings or with the attitude that they "just give my opinion and if you don't like it you can leave" need to be reminded why they are on that particular page or in that support group. One warning, and on the next infraction, out they should go. It's hard. I know. I have "owned" several support and educational groups. Moderators are there to protect the area from all sorts of invaders like advertisers, trolls, creeps, and bullies. Be a part of the solution and not a part of the problem.
Here is a clue that your group has a bully(s) in it--when a person posts a question or comment and ends it with "no bashing please". What this means is that they know that some people in this group will start bashing, that the topic might be sensitive, that the group is not moderated but the poster still wants input and support regarding her question.
For those that just can't seem to control themselves when sitting behind a keyboard and monitor screen, if you can't be nice then just don't type...let it go...if you can't be supportive then just skip the post. If you want to be supportive but don't know what to say then just leave a smile or a heart...or a hug. If you have something to contribute then please leave your judgments at the door and just state the facts ma'am. We are ALL better then this...YOU are better then this!
