Surrogacy 101

Surrogacy and Twitter, Facebook & Instagram-Who is Reading Your Posts?

Facebook and other social media outlets are truly a marvelous invention…until it gets in the way of your relationship with your surrogate or intended parents. We are often reminded to watch what you post because you don’t know who may be reading your blog, timeline,tweets or looking at photos. Employers are often vetting applicants by Googling them and reading the latest activity or looking at the newest photos. Even if your privacy setting is on the most restrictive there are ways to get around all of that!

When you are sharing so much information out in the cyber world you have to take into consideration what others (IPs, case managers, surrogates) may think of your cartoons, announcements and status updates. If you have an unusual ritual that may flip out even your closest family member just think of what an IP may think especially if you are already pregnant with their child. Perhaps you are an intended parent struggling to quit your smoking habit and are posting that online. If your surrogate doesn’t know of this issue at the start of your relationship she may ask herself what else has been hidden from her. If a surrogate, who has agreed to cut back on her caffeine, posts that she has already had 3 cups of coffee and it’s not even 9 am she may have a concerned phone call from her IP’s.

This is not about hiding facts or holding back important information but more about watch what you post or tweet because the reactions on both sides could be filled with misunderstandings. Don't forget all those support groups out there where you feel fine about venting and then realize that your words have been read by people you have a surrogacy relationship with. 

Has something like this ever happened to you? Would you like to share that experience with our readers?

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Egg Donors~ You Have Been Chosen! What Next?

I am sure you have read through egg donation data bases even if it was only the one where your own profile was posted. Pages and pages of other young women also wanting to donate their eggs to help intended parents become the family of their dreams. Each young woman, healthy and well educated, waiting to be chosen by the IP’s meant just for her.

And you were chosen! But what does this really mean? If you did your research then you understand what the Intended Parents had to go through just to get to the point of needing an egg donor. All of the heartache of loss, testing and then, finally, making the ultimate decision: agreeing to find an egg donor. No easy task for someone who probably believed most of her life that she would use her own eggs and have a child of her own genetics. Or perhaps the couple is gay and they have been waiting years to be able to afford egg donation and surrogacy. It’s a huge responsibility and takes a lot of dedication to this process on your part.

Once you have agreed to donate to your Intended Parents and sign the agreement all of the hopes and dreams for your IPs are resting on your shoulders. (No Pressure!) But really, they are living and breathing for updates on you and your progress. The clinic often e-mails or calls with news of what they have you doing next…whether it’s starting your pills or taking your HCG shot…or counting your follicles, your Intended Parents are connected with your cycle and with YOU even if you’ve never meet!

So what does all of this mean to you? It means that following the medical protocol is of utmost important. Taking care of yourself and watching what you eat and drink is mandatory. Making sure you are not breathing in second hand smoke or overly tired or stressed is crucial to a successful donation and, really, to the success of your recovery.  

Remember that you are sharing a gift that Intended Parents will be forever grateful for and your dedication will never be forgotten!